Me and Haruki went to a nearby Sushi restaurant in the central streets of London.
I decided to squeeze him in for an early evening meal, under the condition that I get to go after an hour or so. We were technically 'making up' for our little 'quarrel', so he was extra generous on portions today.
Salmon sashimi was soft. Tuna had the savoury aftertaste. Tamago was sweet. I loved it. I would silently rush through the food, as I didn't particularly want to talk to him that day. Besides, from my experiences men like Haruki loved girls with good appetite; which I could confidently say was my forte.
"You're enjoying it?" Haruki asked. He was wearing a gentle smile on his face, light wrinkles around his mouth showing. He was resting his one arm on the brown table, with warm sake in front of him. He was more interested in me than the food I suppose, as other than the times he would take a shot of sake on his small glass cup, he would just stare at me, as if to observe me eating like I'm some sort of an animal in a zoo.
To a degree I am I guess. Haruki perhaps sees me as an expensive pet. Maybe a cat. The cutesy, but mood swingy ones. Perhaps a puppy judging by the way he treats me. Perhaps a peacock in my flamboyant.
But I'm more of a serpent, of course. The beautiful straps to lure the rats in just to choke them up, letting their blood run dry with my venom.
I liked the idea. I'd rather be serpent than an idiotic monkey driven only by primitive desires. I was different. One could call me malicious, I merely called it intelligent. I knew how to survive, and nobody could fault me for that.
I devoured through the last piece of sashimi. I wanted to go. I had my daily portion from Haruki, and I was already tired for the day. I had my daily exercise scheduled for myself along with the evening skincare routine and to be quite frank, prolonging the meeting will only make it easier for him to make his advances. I haven't drank a single sip of the sake, under the excuse that I preferred sushi and that I had work. He could have tried forcing it further, but after the quarrel, I reckoned he wanted to stay on the low. I hope that continues for a while.
"We'll meet again papa, okay?" I dilated my pupils, but I arched my brows again to appear the puppy that he probably wanted me to be.
"Yes, very soon. I'll call you out sometime more, and you make sure to come out." He said that under a smile, but that very much sounded like a soft threat. Tonight's 'make up dinner' was a bargain of course that he knew I couldn't refuse if I wanted a genuine relationship. He won this round.
"I will, I will! I hope I get all my work done and get more trust so I can run to you when you need me!" Elate voice. Make insurance. If I do not have time for him, it's due to work. Won't be my fault.
"Yes. You work hard. I'll check up on you!" He chuckled, but once again there was a grit in the phrase. He was starting to grow - no matter how small - some sort of suspicion.
"Want me to drive you home?"
"That'd be nice, I want to digest a little bit and feel the night."
Driving home on a Benz would normally be an offer I cannot refuse, but today for some reason I wasn't feeling it. I wanted to just go home for now.
"Okay, you do that." He wasn't exactly happy with my answer, but whatever is the case he didn't press on. He was tired too today. I'll give him a phone call and a cute text message later to relieve him later on. That was also on the schedule now.
The night sky as I walked my way to the train station didn't appear to have any stars as the urban smoke and particulates probably hid away the sparkles. There was no smell and look of nature here - only the endless busyness that plagued the streets. Small talks build up to an eerie atmospheric sound, the laughters all sounding mechanical to me. I looked around me.
Blonde girl with white bags with her friends.
The boys in a hoodie bumping into each other as they walk.
The muscular men with tight undersized shirts and jeans talking to each other infront of a gay bar.
Couples, of ranging ages, holding hands as they warmly smile to each other.
I wonder inside, how many of those interactions were fake. How long would they last? After all, the deepest relationship can be the most brittle. Everyone could put on a warm smile, but not everybody can have a warm mind. The night was cold, no matter how bright it all seemed, and I didn't doubt for a second that people's hearts - including mine - were as well.
I sighed, the steam inside my mouth forming and vanishing into the air. I looked around once more, this time into buildings. Shopping markets. Convenience stores. Restaurants of all cuisines. Every shop to satisfy every need, yet this place was always unfamiliar, like I never belonged here.
I saw amongst those, a small bar with a bright blue neon sign named "Roses", with the bright red wires seemingly forming the shape of a rose. It caught my eye due to how small and modest the place seemed amongst the big stores, almost like a place straight out of the rural place of New York fitted right into the streets of Central London. Before I knew it, my feets were gravitating in towards it. The bar also had the same name as my surname, so perhaps there was an element of that as well.
I opened the glass door, and the bell fixed at the top end on the other side of it rang with a damp sound.
That's when I saw - what would become my nemesis - for the first time.