Ben called the next day, first thing in the morning while I was still lying in my bed. It was raining outside, with the shade of the room along with the little taps on the window making such a statement.
"Morning, pups." I fixed my voice for it to not sound like I have just woken up, and sweetened up the tone.
"Hey. Morning! You haven't got work today?" The dog was wagging his tail as he heard his master pick up the phone to call him a puppy.
"Haven't got work, but I'm super tired. I'll nap for a bit soon." I didn't want the boy to come over. Today I just wasn't in the mood to have that. I still haven't got to a stage where I'd actively bite him with 'pleasure' to tease him down to submission, because he was a good dog that knew how to stay still, but I didn't want to open any blind spots.
"I could bring some Chinese takeaways"
Either the boy didn't get the hint, or he got it but he's ignoring it. Sighing, I decided to be a little bit more direct.
"The rain gets me super tired pups. Maybe next time."
"...next time when?"
Something was wrong. I could feel it. Normally by now he puts his tail down and accepts it, but today he seemed a little different.
"Is there something you want to talk about?" I said, with a more serious tone, "we can do it over the phone if you wish."
There was a pause. Pause so long that it made me rather uncomfortable. Swallowing my own saliva out of nervousness, I decided the right move would be, indeed to invite him over. I decided to open the drawer in my room next to the bed, and took out a few of the small cameras.
If I invited him over and I got him into my room, he may make a move on me, and that, I certainly wanted to avoid. Plan B was needed though, as if he indeed goes with his lust then I needed video evidence to sue him with rape. Otherwise, I'll just install the camera in the living room, which is what I did, on top of the kitchen drawers that were fixated on the walls.
The attire was important too. It had to scream 'I don't want to have sex with you' yet also have the elegance enough to make me look like a 'fine woman'. I decided to go with a bright yellow jumper with light blue tight jeans, and I wore big round-framed glasses that had no refractions on them. I curled up my bangs and fixed them with pink, perming rolls that gave me a 'cute' vibe.
Around 40 minutes later, the doorbell rang. Ben was here.. I opened the door, and gave him a hug. The attitude towards a hug was important as well. It had to be to make sure his chest didn't press my breasts, I leaned in, pivoting my hips, to make sure my chest won't touch him at all. He seemed visibly disappointed, but, well, you'd have to deal with that I'm afraid.
He was holding a white umbrella on one hand and a black plastic bag on the left.He brought some Chinese takeaways - chow meins, egg fried rice and fortune cookies - and I let him sit down on the kitchen table to dig in together. I took out a bottle of coke as well to share with him.
"So, what's up?" I asked, my voice tone engineered rather serious and deeper than usual.
"You wouldn't call me that much nowadays, and you didn't have a date with me for a while."
I almost rolled my eyes. This little one was too obsessive sometimes, and was too insecure. His good looks got me wanting him initially when I met him at an open mic at a bar, and I did find his insecurity cute sometimes, but today was not the day. He was getting stale and annoying.
"I'm sorry, I was busy with work."
"You could have at least given me a call."
"Sorry. I didn't think that much about it."
I was tired today. I couldn't think much about how to deal with this little insecure tantrum.
I wonder what that stupid bartender would say in this situation.
"You didn't think much about it?"
"The amount of work I had to do really got me stressed. I'm sorry pups. It's not that I didn't want to be with you. I didn't want to meet you when I wasn't in full condition. You'd forgive me, wouldn't you?"
I look at him, shifting my face to sadness that begs forgiveness. He was conflicted, but I was sure he needed a further push.
"...would you?"
Ben sighed, and swept his hair back. He looked at me, making eye contact. He smiled, and I did too. His anger and insecurity have loosened.
That's where I sensed something wrong. He was going for a kiss.
As he slowly kept leaning towards me, I had to get my brain in full clocking on how to avoid this situation.
If I refuse, he'll throw further tantrums and it may ruin my reputation and how he sees me. I can no longer have him under control.
If I accept it, I have to kiss someone I don't even love. It was a dilemma indeed.
Perhaps I could break the threads and end the relationship. He's a handsome guy, sure, but it's not like he supports me financially like Haruki or keeps me entertained anymore. His singing got stale, his behaviour started to annoy me. I have to cut contacts with him soon enough.
But I couldn't say that here. I have no idea what this volatile kid would do to me, so I decided to approach it differently.
"Did you come here to do that kind of thing with me?" I said, as I pushed him away a little.
"What?" He seemed pulled back by what I said, confused. I had to be careful to balance out the sturn and the gentle, because if he decided to force himself onto me then I wouldn't have a way to fight back. Ben had a good body and physical strength. I didn't quite have that.
"I was tired, ill from the stress of work, yet I let you home because you told me you missed me." I shook my voice intentionally.
For a volatile kid like Ben, guilt tripping seemed to be the best strategy. I'll make sure he feels taken back, and after he leaves, I'll take this opportunity to break up with him. It was very simple.
"I-I'm not-"
"It's disappointing. I thought you'd respect me more than that." I can't give him the space to talk or make excuses. In fact, I shouldn't give him a space to even think. I had to push through this momentum as fast as possible.
"I-"
"I appreciated you going through the rain to keep me company. I even felt bad for not contacting you or paying attention to you for a while and that's why I apologised. But you've come here to do this? for my lips? my body?"
Ben seemed confused. It was obvious. He was either going for a makeup kiss or a make up sex. I turned my head from him, and started to cough; excessively and painfully.
"Y-you okay? I-"
"Leave." I snapped, as I slapped away my helping hand.
"I'm going to take meds and go to sleep."
He seemed broken. His eyes were full of regret and pain. He seemed angry at the situation, at himself for being so hasty and naive.
Exactly how I wanted him.
Broken, he slowly walked to the front door, holding his umbrella. His footsteps had no energy to them. As he opened the door, he looked back at me. I had formed tears, and my eyebrows were arched down. The face I painted was 'disappointment', and seeing that, his guilt seemed to go further. As he whispered a little 'sorry', he gently closed the door as he walked out.
As I heard his footsteps, and as I heard it get further and further away,
I smiled.
In fact, I laughed.
What a stupid kid indeed. I wiped my fake tears and stood up.
Chinese takeaway was delicious.
As I munched through, I thought to myself:
"Perhaps that bartender boy could be my new toy after Ben is gone."
I knew where I was going tonight.