"How's my little child?"
The scruffy, rough voice of Haruki rang over the phone, albeit a bit distorted.
"I wasn't doing so well…"
"Oh? and why is that?"
He sounded noticeably worried, just exactly where I wanted him to be.
"...because you didn't call for the whole day!"
Haruki's laughter was loud and animated, almost like he was trying to put clear accents on his 'ha's. I, unbeknownst to him, called it a 'smoker's laughter', due to how strained it sounded. His throat was clearly full of junk and mucus, and him probably shouting all day giving his orders as a deputy head didn't help either.
"Awh. You're always so cute. Want to have a drink tonight? I'll take you somewhere nice."
"It depends on what time."
"Around...8PM? How about it?"
I knew exactly what it entailed. He was trying his luck once more.
Although I did my best to set up the 'daughter-father' dynamic, I haven't managed to fully program to him that he shouldn't perceive me as a romantic partner. In fact, he seemed to want to have it both ways: he wished to treat me like a daughter, and simultaneously he wanted to treat me as a lover. I noticed this when we were about 2 months into my little 'friendship' with him. It was outside of my calculations, but hopefully until now I managed to dodge his advances by feigning - using my youth - a busy and hardworking young woman trying his best; which also did a great load to create his positive perception of me given his strong work ethic derived from his background and culture.
Today however, was different. He was normally playful, but he seemed eager today.
I thought about it for a moment. These 'men' I have under control are bound by their strings of lust, and as I always did my way of keeping them in submission was to tease. Being so close yet so far. That was my training strategy.
Instances like Haruki's advancements however, was what I would call the 'lust limit'. It's a state my puppets get to when I've teased them too much. They forcefully push, without a second thought, to relieve themselves from me by breaking the strings I had them by. They weren't afraid to make it obvious, because they were that exhausted. It was their final trial, their way of saying: 'go home with me if you're that interested in me'.
How to deal with that sort of situation however, was very, ridiculously simple. I just refuse. Take them to a place with a lot of eyes where they cannot do anything malicious towards me, and shoot them with a bullet of my silver tongue.
"You got the wrong idea. I didn't mean to lead you on." If I reckon them less than a C grade, not worth keeping.
"I-I thought we were just friends." If they're just about low B grade.
"I can't, I'm keeping abstinence, I want to save myself for someone special." If they relatively have a high priority. I also add a hint of 'that special person could be you'. It worked every time, and I would naturally bore them to death by keeping a safeguard if they started to get on my nerves.
The A grades now. I had to be a little bit more flexible with the A grades. They were high priorities that I didn't want to let go for I benefited a lot - socially or financially - from them.
Perhaps I could give Haruki a single night. It could improve his devotion. But I found his smell vile and the increased fat on his abdomen put me off - a lot. Perhaps if it was two years ago around the time I met him I would have considered it more positively as he was in shape back then with less wrinkles, but now, not so much.
"I really want to, papa." I whined with exaggeration,
"But I have to sort documents at home for my work and my senpais are keeping a close eye on me."
I purposely made my voice crack at the last word.
"But you said something like that last time." Haruki pressed on. His voice lost its playfulness.
"I know, I really want to have a drink with you too, but I only have lunchtimes for that." I trailed off my voice a little. I wanted to hold back my playfulness a little bit, as I sensed that Haruki was being more serious.
"I'm sorry. Work is super busy nowadays."
Early evenings are fine and so are lunch times. Late nights however, were dangerous. Less eyes around us, and more of his advances. I wanted to avoid that.
"Why don't you take a holiday? You seem very tired nowadays." Haruki said.
"I can't. I'm still a rookie, and besides, I want to work harder so I can be something great, like you papa!" I said. I wanted to appease him to make myself sound more convincing.
He coughed, prolonging it to a grunt.
"It almost seems like you want to avoid me in the evenings."
I gulped a little. His voice was noticeably sharper than before.
"Are you perhaps, avoiding me?"
"No, no no no. Of course not! Why would I?"
"It seems that you only want to meet me when the day is all bright. Are we not close enough to meet at any time yet?"
I could feel the hair on my skin stand up. I could feel the cold sweats building up a little bit on my forehead. He didn't become a deputy head for nothing. He wasn't a complete idiot. Different strategy then.
"Are you mad at me?"
"No, of course not. I'm just sort of curious as to what you think we are."
I paused for a moment. This was my opportunity.
"I-I'm scared. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."
"Scared? Scared of what? me?"
"No, I, I, um- it's kind of embarrassing. I- I don't know how to say it."
"Go on. Say what you will."
He took a step back. Good. He is now willing to listen, he is now paying attention. He is where I want him to be.
"I'm scared that our relationship will get awkward if we get deeper in."
"Awkward?" He didn't know what I meant. I decided to break it down to him, and I had to choose my words very carefully.
I added a little 'shake' to my voice. I could perhaps build it up to a cry.
"You already have a wife. I always felt like - despite your kindness- I got in the way. Like I was the obstacle to a happy marriage that you could have had. So I always would take a step back. Despite it all, despite all the sacrifices you made for me and all you have done for me, I felt out of place. I was so happy when you treated me like a daughter of yours, papa. I loved it so much."
Haruki was silent. He didn't say a word to interrupt me over the phone.
"So when I felt like you wanted to see me as more than that, I was scared. I-I don't think I'm ready for that. I don't think I deserve that place in the first place. I have nightmares sometimes that you'll get tired of me and leave. After all, you're something amazing, and I'm not. I'm just a regular person. So that's why I wanted to work harder. I took all the overwork. I wanted to grow, just like you. I-"
Que further shaking of the voice into crying.
"Stop it. Hey, stop." Haruki finally muttered over the phone.
"I didn't want to make you cry. I'm sorry. I was just frustrated at the idea that maybe you were not that interested in me. I was worried that you'd drift off - to perhaps another young man near your age that a darling like you could be interested in. That's why I wanted assurance. I'm sorry that I made you cry. I-"
"Don't, don't apologise." I sniffed,
"I understand what you mean. I'm sorry I made you feel that way. But could you wait? could you wait a little for me to run at the same pace as you?"
He sighed. Whether it was of relief or of some sort of frustration I didn't know, but he sighed, and he made his statement full of warmth.
"It's okay. I'm sorry I made you cry. Just know that you're my little darling, okay?"
"Yes, and you'll forever be my papa."
And as you always were, Mister Haruki, forever my puppet.