When I open my eyes the bed is already empty. I sit up with half-closed eyes. I yawn and look at the side of window. I close my eyes several times thinking that I'm still asleep. But when the image I see didn't disappear, I know that it's real. He is standing in front of window smoking the cigarette. The window is half-open and he is half-naked, but he doesn't seem to be cold. I look at his eyes in surprise, he is smiling. He takes a deep breath and then put outs it.
-Have you slept well?
His voice is deep and a little bit raspy.
-Can I ask you something?
He asks looking me in the eyes, I nod confused. He starts a sentence, but then shakes his head.
-You can ask me Noah. Tell me.
I say with a low voice taking his hand in mine. I start playing with his long pale fingers. I love them, they're so beautiful. I kiss his fingers one by one. He smiles and sighs. He looks more relaxed.
-Can I draw you?
He asks me with embarrassed voice his voice getting much more low than usual. I smile at his behavior. The one of the most powerful gang leader is embarrassed asking his girl if he can draw her. I shake my head at the thought.
-Forget what I said.
-Noah you don't have to ask things like that. Of course you can if you haven't changed your mind.
-No. I still want.
-Grab the things you need and lets start.
He got up and got his stuff. He sat on the floor.
-Should I be naked?
-Yes.
He comes towards me. He tells me how he wants to draw me. I sit hugging my left leg. The white blanket hiding half of my body. My hear is in a messy bun. He asks me to look at his direction. I am staring at his chest and his smirks
-I asked you to look me in my eyes, not to stare on my chest with hunger my lady.
-Oh really? How can you ask me such thing when you're half-naked.
-Should I put on a shirt then?
-No. What expression should I have?
He starts to tell me stories of him and Jayden, which makes me giggle loudly. After an hour or so I ask him if he finished, he just shakes his head and continues to draw with smile. He looks so happy and so am I. I lost in my thoughts.
-I finished it.
He takes his drawing with him and goes out. I stare at the door confused. Then he comes and looks at me.
-What?
-Aren't you gonna show me what you draw?
-No.
He says with big smile. I got up and go to bathroom to take a shower. He sits on my bed still shirtless. I throw his shirt to him and he giggles.
***
-Hey Alis. Why are you crying?
-I cry at small things you know, right?! Why are you outside bear?
-I was looking for you. Why are you crying?
-Girls are crying without reason sometimes bear.
-You aren't that type. Now tell me. What are hiding from me?
-Will you dance with me?
-Don't change the subject... ohh... okay.
He starts to dance with me. I close my eyes afraid that he will see my tears sliding down. I hug him.
-Will you dance with me every time I ask?
-Yes. I will. Always.
-If someone is watching?
-I will still dance with you.
He starts to murmur some song, which calms me. He knows me so well.
The nasty smell makes me open my eyes. I feel calm even though I want to scream. It's because of drug. But still I stopped to fight and run from them. Sometimes I'm provoking them, because I am losing to myself. How was it? Pain makes you alive, right?! I open my half-closed eyes to see him and someone, who is on his knees. Then I see his face. No.
Noah.
I want to scream his name aloud, but my voice is like a whisper. Noah. He is pointing him a gun. I am screaming so loud in my head. I try to get up, but I can't move my legs. Please, get up. Please... I have to.
-Noah...
It's nearly a whisper now. I scream again. Someone grabs my body, I weakly try to escape one's grip to reach Noah. Someone starts to shake my body, calling my name.
I open eyes terrified to see Noah. He looks scared. I start to shake violently.
-It was.... you... Noah... He was..
-I'm here. I'm not hurt, see?
I hug him so tight.
-Can you take me out?
I say in low voice, which is barely heard.
-Let's go.
He helps me to get up, then rolls me in blanket. I can't walk properly. He takes me out on the balcony. The unsaid words start to scratch my throat. My tears start to fall.
-Tell me. It will make you feel good. Tell me everything you want to say. Even if you want to shout at me, shout. Just don't stay silent, it will make you more horrible. Let it all out, unless they start to eat you.
-I...
-Tell me!
He screams, making me more angry. I start to shout every sentence.
-I know that he is watching me, waiting for perfect moment to get me! We both know that our happiness will end soon! I don't want to live like this! I want to feel alive! I want to be an ordinary girl! I want to have a parents, who are waiting for me after long day! I want Betty's donuts! I want my brother! I want to tell you what I feel! I am afraid that I will lose you, like them! I am terrified!
I shout loudly. My throat hurts badly. But my soul and heart are being torn apart violently.
His tears slide on his cheeks. He closes eyes, like it indescribably painful. He says slowly something, but I can't hear.
-Will you... dance with me Ali?
I try to stop myself to scream out of pain. I hug him, slowly starting to dancing.
-It hurts so badly...
His voice cracks in the end. He hugs me tightly.
***
Author's P.O.V.
-Hurry up little beast. Take your decision. You know how impatient I am.
He laughs like mad. He scratches his hand and goes toward her. He takes her hair in his hand, making her scream from pain.
-Choose now!
He let go her hair. She fell on her knees. But she wasn't talking.
-Look at her!
His claws clutching tight on her neck. His grip got tighter as girl wasn't talking.
-What you see in her eyes!
He roared. Then girl smiled, tears rolling on her pale cheeks. There was no pain on her face already. He knew that smile and slowly letting her go.
-In her eyes is an emotion you will never get. Your soul is dead. You are nothing.
She says with disgusted smile, her eyes are empty. He know that in this state she was dangerous. He asked calm.
-First or second?
She glanced at the victim. She was at her age. She looked lost, scared and confused.
-First.
She said coldly and emotionless. The victim was taken out of room. They were alone. He looked so calm.
-What were we doing? Oh... We were playing.
After some minutes he asks.
-what the hyacinth means?
-My sorrow is deep....
-Why aren't you giving up?
-Because I love him...
-Love? It's poison, which destroys you.
-You don't know the meaning of love...
-I loved! And she destroyed me!
-The beast like you aren't able to love.. Love is the most pure and powerful feeling, which can make you be feel undescribed...
-Someday that feeling will be the reason of your death...
-You are powerless... Because he loves me... You never loved her...
-She don't loved me, so nobody can love her like I did. I killed her and him.
-You will never get forgiveness from them...
-That's not the reason why I ask you about hyacinth.
-Then why?
-You will be the one who will feel deep sorrow little beast.. You will ask me to kill you so desperately.
His awful laugh is heard everywhere. Will he destroy her?