Cold. Everything is cold. Cold touch. Cold taste. Cold smell. Cold blood. Cold body. All that it is is nothing but cold.
But why is it cold?
It's like walking in the middle of nowhere, surrounded on a bed of snow, looking for something to warm up and escape the snowstorm.
If there was a fire close by, then they would warm themselves up.
If there was a shelter close by, they would easily survive until the storm stops.
If they were given some sort of clothing that keeps you warm, they might survive the storm and venture on.
There are many things that can help you survive in the cold storm. But unfortunately, there was nothing like that of the sort.
Without any hope of surviving the snowstorm, they just lie in the snow, waiting for the end to come.
There was something that was even colder than snow itself: Death.
Death is by far the coldest beyond anything where in death, you succumb to the cold and become one with the cold. And in order to deal with the cold itself, you must learn how to embrace it, and accept death.
Giving up to despair, that person slowly close their eyes, finally
However…there is hope.
There was a shining light, glowing brightly as the sun. It halted and calmed the snowstorm, allowing for the droplets of snow to fall with grace.
As they are almost close to death's door, the bright light lightly lands into their hand. It was one thing that they felt: warmth. The light feels so warm they don't feel cold anymore. When they touched the light, the snow had completely melted from their body.
After being freed from their frozen prison, they follow the light as it becomes their guide. Where could it lead them? Where does it go? Only one thing is certain—and what can they hope for—they need a place where they can be warm from and away from the snow.
The light shines brighter as they continue walking in the snow and their body is getting warmer. It didn't matter how cold it was anymore or how deep the snow was; the light continued to warm their body and melt the snow in front of them.
They travel through the storm; from the hollowed depths of the woods to the highest of the mountain, and as they continue forward, more and more lights gather and guide them. Where do they come from? Where are they taking them? Even they aren't sure.
After a while, the gathered lights flew up in the air and flew in a circle above them. And as they went round and round, it created a ball of light and flashed, swallowed the whole world, including them, and turned it into an endless white void, where no life had ever existed.
Just what was the flash? Why did it engulf the world? What was the reason behind it? They wished they could provide all the answers, but in the end—
—There wasn't a single lifeform to tell that.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
The sun climbs slowly over the horizon, the faintest rays peeking past the distant skyline. A breeze blows softly over the meadow, faintly brushing past the leaves, filling the air with the soft whispering of rustling leaves. As the sun shines over the fields, so do the meadow's inhabitants.
A single look at the scene fills the body with a sense of renewal, like a breath of fresh air after holding it for so long.
The land is flat, and covered in thin grass, blowing softly in the wind. The land is devoid of features, other than a solitary hill in the middle of the meadow. Standing on top of the hill is a lone tree blowing in the wind.
Where…am I? Is this…death?
Shouya wondered if he was actually in the afterlife.
Under this solitary tree, he woke up under the stretching branches of a tree, sheltered by its shadow, cast across the landscape. The sun climbs higher in the clear sky, wisps of cloud streaked across, motes of white on a blank blue canvas.
Is this really the afterlife once you die? It looks so...peaceful. I actually don't mind it.
He let out a relaxing sigh, echoing the appreciation of the day that nature had wrought, appreciation of his tranquil life of solitude.
"Hm?"
Despite his isolation, he is not alone in this tranquility. The quiet sounds of footsteps on fresh grass reach his ear, alerting him of an unknown presence. His ears perk up, swiveling ever so slightly to catch the foreign sound. The sound slowly grows louder, each step bringing their bearer closer to his resting place. The boy slowly opens his left eye and sees someone, an unfamiliar figure—one of a girl in a soft blue dress, complimenting the sky above.
Who…is she?
As she approaches, he notices a faint gleam of sunlight, reflecting off of the silver necklace around her neck. She appears to have a pair of pointy ears atop her head, long black hair cascading down her back, almost reaching her long tail, swinging behind her like a pendulum. In a land so empty of detail, her presence feels like that of a flower, a streak of color across the blank landscape. Though her soft appearance stuns him, her face is turned aside, her eyes avoiding the rays of the climbing sun.
The boy gave a gentle smile to the girl before closing his left eye again.
"Oh, it's you."
Wait, is this me talking? Why can't I move my lips—or even my body?!
Shouya actually tries his best to move his body, but his body can't respond. What is this unknown power? How come he can't control his body? It felt like he had been set to autopilot.
The girl remains silent as she sits right next to Shouya, who is resting on the soft grass draped across the hill.
—!
She rests his head on her lap and begins to caress the boy's head with her soft and slim hands, slowly traveling across his dog-like head.
"The feeling of your touch never tires me, Sheri."
Sheri? Wait, how do I know her name? When did we ever meet? But, this feeling…
He thumps his tail on the ground in appreciation of her warm and gentle touch. He is like a dog that likes to be petted and enjoys it.
"Wake up."
"Huh?"
Shouya opened his eyes and the scenery changed from day to night. But that's not all, the girl—who mysteriously calls her Sheri—had disappeared from his sight, nowhere to be seen. He surveyed the area around him, but it was too dark that it became hard to see.
All that was around him was the blades of grass touching his feet and a gigantic moon illuminating the night sky above him. The moon is so large and so close that you can imagine yourself touching the surface of it.
"—Gah!"
What is—
He closes his eyes as the moon suddenly starts to shine brightly, brighter than the sun, blinding him.
He wanted to know who Sheri was, why was he transported to this land, or who transported him.
But before he could get an answer, the world fades to black.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
"—Ah!"
Shouya flashed his eyes wide, as if he was waking up from a nightmare and stared at a somewhat familiar ceiling. He's back at Gin and Enna's home.
He got up and looked out the window as he saw people walking the streets lively under the bright blue sky. Last night, the Inquisitor was supposed to annihilate the city. Seeing that the city remained intact must've meant that they had saved Vincilos in time.
"Oh! You finally awake."
Coming out of the door and into the room was Gin before closing the door behind him.
"Oh, your arm! Did you grow it back?"
"Grow it back? You must be crazy if you think I'm that powerful! But no. I was lucky that your gal Alisa found it for me."
"She's not my— Ack!"
He was quickly interrupted by Gin's giant hand from his reattached arm roughly rubbing on Shouya's head.
The last time he had seen him before he had blacked out, he was badly wounded all over his body and was missing an arm. Now he looks like he's been fully healed and his arm was reattached, as if nothing ever happened.
"Hey, it's alright! You don't have to be embarrassed. If it wasn't for her, I would be some kind of a freak. Imagine if I have to stick by some weird prosthetics, like a hook for an arm. That would be something stupid to see. I mean, who would be stupid enough to came up with an decision like that?"
"…"
"Anyways, you were out cold for two days. Luckily, a lot of us are alive and the Inquisitor paid a visit."
"He did?!"
"But don't worry. We talked him out of it before he could destroy this city. So you can relax. This place is safe and sound."
"I-I see…"
Relieved that everyone was alright, Shouya relaxed and smiled slightly to himself. But…
"…"
His smile quickly disappeared and he looked at the floor, a bit sad. Gin sees his expression and asks him.
"Something's on your mind?"
"Oh, it's nothing."
"Hmm…"
Gin raised a brow and cocked his head as his answer didn't convince him in the slightest. He sat on top of the bed and lightly patted on the bed that he's sitting on.
"Come sit."
"…"
Shouya didn't have the courage to say anything. He approached the bed and sat beside him. Comparing side by side, Gin's body was twice as big and more muscular than Shouya's to the point that he was actually intimidated by his appearance.
He was very nervous; nervous and worried. He was expecting that Gin might scold him for what happened last night.
But that wasn't it, actually.
"Tell me, what's bothering you?"
"…"
"I'm not going to force you to tell me. I was only concerned about you. Besides, you should be happy at a time like this."
"…"
"What you did back there was very brave. My mind was blown when you took out that magic user by yourself. I must say, you were amazing!"
"…"
"Hey, I know! I could recruit you to join Silver Moon! Well, maybe not me, but I know some of my close friends who are still working there. I could introduce them to you and get them to let you join them. Who knows. Maybe you could get a girl while you're working there. Just like how I met Enna! Wahahaha!"
While Gin jokenly laughed at his own comment, Shouya didn't say or react to anything. He continued to look down at the floor, silent.
Gin is that kind of person that will be willing to lift anyone's spirits up, whether if the situation is dire or someone is in a sad mood. His wife, his children, his friends, his comrades, or even to complete strangers that he'd barely met. No matter the outcome, he is willing to give anyone a smile on their face and be happy with their lives.
However, he doesn't see it from Shouya. Gin gave a deep sigh and slapped his own knees.
"Well, if you don't want to talk about it, we can talk once you feel better, alright?"
He stood up and walked towards the door, concluding his talk with Shouya.
"—?"
But before he could get to the door, he was stopped by Shouya's arm, firmly gripping Gin's tail. This made him a bit curious.
"…Why are you always so nice to me? I've messed up a lot of things. I've almost got you and everyone killed because of my sloppy fighting skills. I've even broken your bathroom mirror and yet you're okay with it and forgave me for even the tiniest mistake I made. You gave me a job, you gave me food, and you gave me a place to stay without giving second thoughts. I should've been happy, happy that you cared about me. But…"
"But?"
"Why do you care about me? I don't have any special abilities. I don't have magic, I'm not skilled in combat, and I don't know anything about this world and yet you, Alisa, Gunther, Enna, and everyone else in this city are being so nice to me. No one has ever been this nice to me before. Not my family, not the people from school, not even my own sister have been nice to me like you before, not even once! You and I, even though we just met for only one day, you're being nice to me and now you compliment me for something I've messed up that I nearly died and you want to make jokes? And for what? Making me feel better?"
"Hey, if I'm offending you—"
"That's not it!"
"—!"
Shouya stood up from the bed and shouted from the top of his lungs, causing Gin's body to jump a little. His shout was so loud that it can be heard from inside the house, even from outside the house that anyone that is close to their home could hear him. But shouya didn't care.
Up to this point, he's at his limit.
"You just don't get it! You keep putting a smile on your face and accept what's coming to you while I'm being a damn coward! Why do you care about me? All I did was to be helpless and watch from the sidelines! I tried being helpful, I've tried helping you fight, I've tried helping others fight, I've tried protecting others, I've tried everything I could. But no matter what I do, I just keep messing it up and failing others. I didn't know what to do! I don't know how the world works and I feel like shit for it! I couldn't do what you, Alisa, Gunther, or everyone else did!"
"Shouya…"
"You said that 'I should be happy at a time like this'. If I want to be happy, then why am I still crying? How can I be happy if I'm the only one that is still suffering?!"
A fountain of tears rains down from Shouya's face. He tries to wipe away the tears from his eyes, but they just keep on flowing down from his cheeks, like a flood having broken through a dam.
"I'm really jealous of you all, I really am."
"What do you mean?"
"You have your friends. You have your family. You have everyone around you to love and care around you. You have everything that I don't and I'm really jealous of you. I'm just a nobody. Have no friends, my family don't love me, I'm nothing. That Inquisitor shouldn't have saved me. Trash like me should've been left to die!"
He couldn't hide it anymore. These are all of Shouya's raw pent up emotions, emotions that he had bottled up for so long when he was in his world. For the longest time, he had been hiding his real emotions. He couldn't express his actual emotions to anyone.
He couldn't feel happy.
He couldn't feel sad.
He couldn't feel angry.
All of these emotions that make a person feel alive, and he lost it all. He had to fake these emotions to hide his true emotion: Depressed.
"—!"
In an instant, Gin wrapped his arms around Shouya's body and hugged him tightly. This was suddenly out of nowhere. Shouya didn't expect that someone would hug him. He'd imagine, at the very least, expect to have him get yelled at and scold him or Gin just upright hitting him to knock him to his senses. But this, this was something else.
"Do you see them?"
"H-Huh?"
He wasn't sure what he was talking about. See what exactly? Shouya wipes his watery eyes to get a clear vision.
Upon closer inspection, he can finally see them.
"—!! Gin, those are…"
Scars. He can see scars hidden under his smooth, lavender fur. It wasn't just one or two scars. There were a lot of them around his body. Big cars. Small scars. Even some stab wounds that were hidden.
These aren't just any ordinary scars. These are clearly battle scars. They were hidden in the fur with the naked eye, so you couldn't see them. But when you actually get real close to him and shift his fur a bit, that is when you can actually see his scars.
Judging from how they looked, they're probably from the time he fought against Vikov and the Blue Sharks. But that's not it. Looking at them closely, they looked older than that.
"These scars aren't just ordinary scars. These are scars from the time when I was in the war. I've lost a lot of good men in my time. They sacrificed themselves to fight for what is right. They gave their body and souls to fight for the people they cared about. For me, I was one of them. There are times that I could never forgive myself. But when Enna entered my life, I found something. Hope."
"Huh?"
Shouya didn't understand what Gin was saying. His tears were still dripping from his eyes that he couldn't focus.
Gin further explains.
"There were times where I was about to meet my end during that war. I could be stabbed to death, cut my head off, tear from limb from limb, or be burned alive by the enemy. I would give up my life and you wouldn't be able to see me stand right in front of you now. It's easy to give up. You can just do it just by accepting your fate and just die. Anyone can do it. Simple as that."
"—"
"But…when I think about Enna, something lit my heart up. Something tells me that I shouldn't give up, not when the love of my life's life is at stake. So I fought back. I fought back because I promised myself to tell her that I love her. I need her as much as she needs me. And I would do anything for her and I wouldn't let her go, not even for a second."
"—"
"The point is, I care about you. You're not a nobody. It doesn't matter if we're not blood related. I treat everyone like a family. I don't care if my body looked like I came from hell and back and looked like shit. So you see, these scars are not just for show. They are reminders, telling me to remember that I shouldn't lose anyone. Enna, Jakki, Gina, and everyone that I've met along the way. And that includes you. And do you know why?
"Hm?"
"We only have one life."
"—!"
"With one life, you can do so much things. You have all the freedom in the world to do anything and everything. Hell, even I have the freedom to just run away from my problems and never look back. But that would be me running away from everything and everyone that I love. That's why I devote myself, with this one life that I have, to protect the people that I love and care. Like family. Even though we may not look like it, even though we're not related by blood, you're like a second son to me. And with your plan to stop the city from being destroyed and saving the people that we all loved, I wanted to say, truthfully, from the bottom of my heart, it's great to have you with us."
"Ah!"
Shouya's eyes widened. He finally realized the people he had met; Alisa, Gunther, Gin, Enna, and everyone else he had met in this world, they're not pretending to care about Shouya. No, they actually cared about him and no one else. Not from his classmates, not from his parents, and not even from his own sister.
This is the one thing that he had wanted what the old world did not: acceptance.
Accepted to be loved. Accepted to exist. Accepted to express his real emotions instead of hiding it from anyone.
This world isn't just a world of suffering. This is a world where he can finally be free.
"So what do you say?"
"—Gu!"
There were no words to say. Shouya, still holding on to Gin, kneels to the floor with him as he has an emotional breakdown.
This is the first time in his life that he had felt something this genuine in years. All these years, he has been looking for a meaning to exist, a reason to live. But now, he has found his answer, and now he has a reason to live.
Hope.
"Guuuaaaahhhhhaaaaaahhhhh!!!"
He couldn't say anything else. He had no words left to say. He doesn't know what to say afterwards. All that Shouya can only do is cry; cry until his eyes run dry.
"There there. It's alright."
Gin, who Shouya was still clinging onto, gently pats his head as Shouya bawls his eyes on his furry chest, letting his emotions run wild as he is filled with hope.