My eyes flutter open, hearing a glass break in my kitchen, making me rollover to see where Dylan was. I was alone in my bed, so I decided to go to the kitchen to see what was going on. I slowly slid out, and as I reach the kitchen, I see Carol cleaning up a glass tumbler. "Oh! Good morning, Meg. Sorry about this, slipped from the counter."
"That's okay! Where's Dyl?" I asked. I noticed that I called him by his nickname, but it did feel like we were closer than we ever were now. "He left very early in the morning. Didn't he say anything?" Carol answered, contradicting what I was thinking.
"No, he didn't!" I said as I switched the stove of which had our omelets, and were very close to getting burnt. "He didn't say anything you, either?" I continued, I couldn't hide how disappointed I felt at that moment. "No, he just got read and left. I opened my eyes to see the door shut in my face. That's how I woke up that early," she said, as she threw the last bits of broken glass into the bin.
I served the omelet on the plate, while Carol took the kettle that had our coffee and placed both on the dining table. "I will just brush my teeth and come," I said as I came back into my room. It felt weird, painful even. I didn't know why Dylan would leave so early without even saying a word. I thought for a moment as I sat down on my bed.
Should I give him a call? Or a text? Maybe I should wait and see if he does that would clear up a lot of questions on its own. I got my teeth brushed and joined Carol to have my coffee and omelet. "How does your leg feels now, Meg?" I looked down at my left foot for a minute. "I feel much better now. Dylan took care of me so well," I said. Every time I said his name, I could feel my heart aching for some reason. Maybe I was feeling hurt as this reminded me of how all my past relationships were.
"Hey! He is not avoiding you, Meg. Maybe he had some emergency, or maybe he is a little scared. Like said, all is new for him more than it's for you. Give him some time." She said; I knew she could read my face that how lost I was feeling all of a sudden. "But, I could say one thing, the way he looks at you is goals!" I looked up at her as though a current of energy passed through my body.
"Like how?" I asked. "Well, like passion flowing, as if he is trying to fuck you with his eyes. And, he keeps on staring at you all the time," I knew Carol was paying attention, and I did want to hear her input on his actions. The last time I tried to get it, she shot me down and told me that he is the wrong tree to bark up. Now she was offering me her inputs before asking anything. I had to use this to my advantage.
"You know, he is very secretive. I try to get to know him as much as I can, but it's like there's a wall between us. It's also true that the way he treats me, no one in my entire life has taken care of me like that!" I said, pouring my heart out to her. Carol extends her hand to rub my shoulder with an understanding smile on her face.
"I can understand, girl! But that's how men are; he will confide in you as time goes. As far as I know him from Michael and other sources, he never dated anyone in years, so it's normal to have some problems in sharing information this early." Even without knowing our whole situation, Carol's words did make sense. It's not like we were actually in a relationship. We were not even close friends. What are we anyway?
I was lost in thought; I heard my phone chiming from my room. My heart started beating fast. I smiled and sprinted as fast as I could without stressing too much on my healing leg, to the room. My heart sunk as I saw the name 'Jeffrey' flash on the screen. I was not more disappointed in my life before.
"Hey, Jeff!" I said, picking up. "Hey, Meg! I just wanted to check on you. Is your leg feeling alright now?" I didn't know why, but I was feeling a little irritated at his concern. "Umm... Yeah, I am recovering pretty well. Thanks to my friends, who are being helpful." I replied. "Yeah, that sounds good. So would you be able to make it into the office tomorrow? Or would you want to work from home?"
I understood this for a fact that there must have been manuscripts piling up that he wanted me to start working on as soon as I can. And I also felt maybe that was best to keep my mind off all this. "I will come to the office, Jeff! Don't worry; I took enough rest." I said. Jeff laughed out. "Alright, see you tomorrow then." He said and disconnected the call. I sat there holding my phone, again in a dilemma that should I talk to Dylan. I knew I wouldn't be at peace unless I know everything was alright.
For a fact, I knew that I am fucked even if he technically hasn't. After many debates with myself in my head, I clicked on the call button sending the call to Dylan. He picked up after a few rings, which shot my blood pressure, making me feel dizzy a bit. "Hey! You left so early?" I asked, trying to keep my voice as calmer as possible.
"Why are you yelling? Well, yeah! I had some important stuff to do at home. What's up?" He answered; I knew from his voice that he wasn't in his normal self, at least not with me. "Okay. Oh! Nothing really, your fake girlfriend just wanted to know why you left so early without any word about it." I said sarcastically. He had a very peculiar type of giggles that complemented his deep voice for some reason, whenever I heard that voice of his, especially that giggle made my heart pop out of my chest. For some reason, I was hoping to hear those giggles; the silence felt so heavy, making me feel even more worried.
"Meg! I am sorry, but if you didn't notice, I accidentally broke our bed rule. And, I am having a weird feeling that this is not going to end well for you. I can't be the person who gives you unbearable pain. You're way too special for that; you deserve someone who would love you like you are capable of loving a heartless man like me." Dylan's words pierce my heart and through my soul, like a sword cutting mercilessly again and again.
"But why do you think I am in love with you?" I asked; I knew this was ending. I could feel a lump in my throat, which felt like a motor connected to the tear glands, and I knew I was going to cry my eyes out if he is going to say that we are never going to see each other again.
"I am not saying that, Meg! I didn't think this before; it's me who is the one with the problem, not you. If you end up in a bad place later, I will never be able to forgive myself." Now I understood where was going but, he was thinking in the right direction, which my sane mind knew. But love is never something that the sane mind comes up with; it's the insane side that wakes up and takes over when you finally feel the strange stirrings inside your heart for just one person, over 7 billion people on the planet.
"Dyl! Listen, I took this decision on my own. Knowing all that will come with it, I know what my stakes are. Please stop being so secretive and mysterious, we are doing this, and we are doing it together. You have to let me in and trust me." I said I didn't think twice this time; it was like holding on to a rope, which I knew is tearing the skin off my palms and fingers but can't let go off.
"Aww, you called me Dyl? But I want you to call me 'daddy' like last night, when around others! It has a genuine effect on me!" He said, and his voice indicated that he was back into his fun self. I laughed in response; he continued before I could say anything, "I don't know how I met you, but I am genuinely grateful. And I will try not to be an ass from now on. Thank you again; I don't know how I am going to repay you."
I smiled like an idiot, my eyes were already wet, but thankfully they were happy tears. "So, you like me calling you daddy? Huh?" I said, I heard his giggles making my heart do backflips, and I realized how it feels to be in love with someone who you cannot have, but you no longer care. "I do!" he replied.
I moved into the living room, where Carol was sitting and reading some magazine. "Okay, daddy! Come home early; I have a surprise for you tonight." I said. Carol looked up at me and hid her face as though she was embarrassed. "I didn't hear anything." She shouted out. "Oh my god! You called me daddy like that to make Carol listen! I wish we didn't make the pact, though!" Dylan said. I was a bit surprised, started wondering if he wished so? What could happen if we did have sex?
"I wonder that too, daddy!" I said. Dylan started laughing out, not realizing I was not joking, but I played along anyway. "Anyways, will stop by tonight, will talk then. Gotta go bye!" He said as he disconnected the call.
I sat next to Carol, blushing like a teenage girl in hopeless love. Carol teased me for our little kinky nickname, I realized how this felt like a fantasy fulfillment, but every time I took a reality check, I knew this was all just a lie I am living, and at some point, I will have to face this reality.