Saccharide Heinz
Paris, France: 4th Cemetery
3:57 P.M.
Her sheepish moans echoed throughout my car. May the souls in this cemetery guide me accordingly because if she doesn't tell me what she's been hiding here in the cemetery, I'll go as far I'll go with her. I know I said I wanted it to happen after our wedding but her stupidly hard-headed persistence will ruin that idea.
"Saccharide," Raine moaned as I held her hands up against her head, "This is technically rape!"
Staring at her in disbelief, I intertwined our fingers together as I pressed her body even firmer on the leather seat before whispering to her, "Says the girl who begged me to make love with her first thing in the morning..."
She turned her head to the side and bit her lip, "I don't know what you're talking about!" I heard her gulping a lump in her throat as she explained herself to me, "I- 'm dreaming..."
Still, with her understandable explanation, I ignored her pleas and continued nibbling her neck while my other hand traveled slowly down the cuffs of her short. She gasped, struggled to free her hands before pushing me off her body when my fingers rubbed her inner thighs.
"Well, aren't you a little feisty after slapping Dione?" I smirked.
Reminiscing of what she did a while ago, she muttered, "It felt good..."
I never would have expected Dione to see on the floor on his back with his hand holding his swollen cheek. His eyes were widened and his mouth was agape.
Then she said it, "You asshole..."
She heaved him up by his collar before giving him instructions. The bottom finally became the top as she instructed Dione what to do with the bodies and what to do after burying them.
"I had enough of your personality running around. If ever Menthos turns out to be like you... God help me I'll fill you with so much audacity that you'll explode," she threatened.
That's her last words before dragging me outside the condominium.
Seeing her smiling at the thought of that white-haired fuck pisses me off but I need to remember the reason why I brought her to the cemetery, "You know what else feels good...?"
I attacked her lips while gently fondling her breasts. She screamed in shock at the unexpected move of mine, "Ahhh! Saccharide..." she moaned.
Her hands tried pulling away from my hand which was grasping her mound flesh. My tongue played with her unmoving one while I persistently toyed with her chest. Her bewildered eyes stared at mine as she pulled the fluffy fabric of my sweater covering my biceps and triceps harder.
It ripped...
We both stopped at the moment when she showed the long sleeve ripped from my sweater. She apologized and tried tucking it in to make it look fixed every time she tucks it in, it will just flawlessly fall to reveal my scarred arm.
Raine stuttered and cried, "I'm so sorry... I'll pay for it" — before hugging me.
It's not that obvious that she was trying to change the subject but I know it's her intention. Patting her head for comfort, I fiddled a few strands of her hair, "Stop acting, Gorgeous... I admire your extraordinary talent but—" I pulled her from me and pushed her against the glass again.
"It's not working for me..." I finished my sentence and kissed her again. She cutely gritted her teeth and threw the long sleeve to my face. I smirked, sat up before pulling the other sleeve of my sweater.
"W- what are you doing?! Stop that, Saccharide!" she panicked and tried stopping my action by pulling her hand off my other sleeve.
I grinned when the sound of the seams slightly cackled; Raine released my hand as I pulled harder until—
It ripped.
"Now it's even..." I uttered, "Both of our scars are showing..."
My sweater became a turtle neck muscle shirt with a few revisions and unprofessional tailoring. I put my fleeced coat on me again and asked, "Do I look sexier?"
Dumbfounded, Raine just stared at my new style as I took her sudden shutdown as an opportunity to tie her hands on the metal part of the headrest of the car seat using the two sleeves. I adjusted the seat and pushed it down so she was lying down while I was on top of her.
"Please... Anything but this," she begged and stopped her futile struggling.
I threw a deadly serious look at her face before removing her top. Before I delve to feast on her voluptuous body, I whispered, "Anything does not exclude this, Gorgeous."
She won't have enough force to split the knot, especially with her position. The car quaked around as she shook her hand as hard as she can to remove the knot. Her feet are not of use because I quarantined them with my legs.
"What are you hiding?" I questioned my face inches closer from hers.
Her pitiful look soon turned into a rage-filled portrait, "I- it's none of—" she kept stuttering so I stooped my head straight down to silence her.
She indulged for a moment in our kiss before tilting her head to the side to prevent herself from melting down because of our passionate sharing of intimacy. She coughed once I relinquished her lips from mine.
When she looked at me with brought together eyebrows, I genuinely smiled and asked, "It's none of my business?"
Her eyes twinkled with tears once again when I softly held her chin to face her beautiful features in front of me. Softly, I rubbed my thumb to dry out her tears before calling her, "Gorgeous."
"The more you keep it as a secret from me, the more reasons I'll have to investigate you..." I reasoned out, eager to know what the secret of this angel was.
Raine looked away again and whispered, "But I don't want to show you the other side of me"
I didn't know how to respond so I let her explain it to me herself, "You'll be disgusted with me once I revealed it to you," she hid her shameful face behind her arms, "Be- because the Raine Aksenov you all know will not do such a thing so If I—"
"Show me," I said with eagerness, "Whatever the fuck you did I want to know..."
Facing me again, we shared the most intense staring. We channeled our messages almost telepathically before she finally gave me a sigh and said, "Free me..."
I closed my eyes and jumped up and down inside my head. Reaching out to her tied wrists; I carefully removed the complex tied knot and let her massage it, circling the spot where a red mark was plastered.
"Why did you put so much struggle if you'll say it to me eventually?" I chuckled and proceeded to adjust the car seat to its original position.
I was about to exit the car when Raine pulled me closer to her and whispered, "Back then, why did you tend to my wounds when you'll just give me more anyway?"
My heart pumped an enormous amount of blood and my spine almost escaped my back when her voice entered my ears. She looked sad but serious as she continued saying bemusing things to me.
She whispered, "That's why I did it Saccharide. I have the same reason you had..."
I can feel her nails twisting the fleeced fabric of my coat. Tightly, I hugged her and said nothing because I know I won't understand it for now. Before letting me go, she said one last request, "Promise me that you'll walk away if you find me disgusting..."
She stood behind me as soon as we entered the cemetery gate. We continued to find our way towards the other side of the cemetery where the rotting graves and crushed tombstones are slowly hidden by the continuous growing unkept grasses.
Finally, we reached the brittle looking gate. "Why don't you lead us there?" I said to Raine offering my hand to help her jump over the small metal barrier on the ground that says 'Fuck off teens!!!' written in red spray paint with a paper notice from the police department.
She refused my hand and jumped over it with a single beat of heart, "You already investigated about it, right?"
I nodded and kept my eyes on her eyes, "You lead the way... Prove to me you really know where's my secret. And Blood Shed isn't the one investigating me..."
Smirking, I approached her on the other side before saying, "I'm already loving this side of you, Raine Aksenov."
She didn't smile nor react. She just stared ahead while I lead us where the keeper directed me yesterday in broad daylight before the fire happened.
1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
I counted the graves as I step on each one of them. Looking back at Raine, she was walking with no worries of the itches she may get because of the sharp ends of the weed and untrimmed grasses on her silky bare legs.
6...
7...
8...
9...
Continuing counting the graves, I tried to remember where the old keeper led me when I asked where was the place she always finds Raine.
10...
11...
12...
13...
"It's the only spot here where the grass grows the tallest among the rest."
14...
15...
16...
17...
That's what the old lady said.
I stopped in front of the wall, basically the dead-end of the cemetery where the vines reached the top of the wall and the grasses raced and won above the concrete.
I turned to her and said, "Show me..."
She stepped forward and with her head down, she entered the curtain of tall grass. I held my hand out when she disappeared from my sight but she came back with a shovel in her hand. I tracked her movements as she held the shovel up in the air to weigh down all the tall grasses.
The dust clouded my eyes before I closed them while I coughed and flapped the dirt flying around my face away.
When I opened my eyes, I saw a little shrine on the pillar. The hole was perfectly and deeply carved in the wall. The shrine has a little light in it. Carnations surrounded a beautifully designed vase, which was the masterpiece of the small shrine. In front of the vase was a family picture. There were 3 people in the picture. A handsome man who looked like in his late 20's, the male has a bulky body shape and a commanding posture. A little girl with dark hair was sitting in the man's lap, showing her cute uneven teeth. On the opposite side was a beautiful woman with wavy dark brown hair, the woman looks like a pilgrimage of a goddess.
All of them were happy. You will not find a single flaw in the picture, not even a blemish. It seems like it was taken just days ago with the fresh and glossy texture of the film.
I did not dare to utter any single word. Raine gave me the vase. I immediately opened a bit and discovered a half filled interior filled with pale ashes.
"Who is this?" I asked and closed the lid. Giving it back to her, she hugged it tightly then sat on the wooden part of the shovel on the ground.
She stuttered, "I- It's my mother's"
I was hoping for a more shocking revelation but it's pretty normal to have your mother's ashes in a cemetery. Sighing to her weeping sounds, I joined her on the ground and sat there before putting her head against my shoulders.
"Why are you hiding her from everybody, Raine...?" I asked, "It's normal. It's not like—"
"I- I stole her..." she interrupted me before looking up to me. Her wet and sad auburn orbs met my hazel confused ones.
"She's supposed to be buried in New York..." she continued and stood up from my embrace to place back the vase in the little squared shrine before sitting back with me.
"Buried?" I chuckled at her worry habit at such nominal things, "There's nothing wrong with that, Gorge—"
"You don't understand!" she exclaimed after pulling the collar of my sweater.
Raine handed me the picture frame of the family. I smiled as I ran my thumb on the surface where the little girl was smiling. I looked over to her and smiled, "Your smile brightens the day you were born..."
With droopy eyes, she muttered, "I'm not the little girl..."
Then, who—
"And that man in the picture isn't my father," she continued.
Before she looked up in the skies, she laid her head on my arm as her eyes softened, "I am a daughter of two unfaithful lovers..."
She began narrating, "My father and mother had their original family. They met in a business convention; my mother was the assigned florist while my father was a guest..."
"Then—" I heard her whimpered so I wrapped my arms around her.
Leaning closer to her hair, I whispered, "Let it out, Gorgeous..."
"I am a product of copulation that was never meant to happen. They were drunk. After my mother informed my father that she's pregnant with me, they faked a business trip that was 1 year long," she smiled as she wiped her tears to look at me.
All I can do now was listen and stride my fingers along with her long black hair. I watched her with a concerned stare but after a while, I can't stand seeing her like this so I averted my gaze far away from her beautiful tearful face.
"When I was born, they kept me confined to a small house. My mother was always there for me at day while it was my father who'll take care of me when the night comes," she inhaled, "It was all normal. My family was never together in one time but I was satisfied..."
Her description of the house was simple. It was by the isolated areas of New York. The house was barely noticeable because of its gloomy and faded color of brown and grey. The living room was in the middle of the cube constructed house. Two steps to the north, that's where her bed is. Three steps to the west, that's her bathroom. Three steps to the east, that's her study table and mini television.
Raine almost didn't continue this part if she hasn't started it, "—until the husband of my mother found out about me. It was revealed to both families"
She broke down and her tears poured down her fiery red cheeks, "Then... They disowned me. Neither of them wanted to take custody of me. It's fine. It's fine that they left me inside that small house. My mom would come, give me food and allowance, and then kiss me goodbye."
She whimpered her words out of her lips, "It's fine that my father would introduce me to his friends as his adopted student from the orphanage. Because at least, I felt their love even for a short time only..."
"Every night, I slept on my own, thinking that someone out there needs my love more than my parents need it..." Her eyes sparkled as she looked at me, "When I finally find that soul, I'll never give up on them. No matter where they are, I'll find them."
"I continued going to school with only my father's mercy. I made friends. Then I met—" she paused and tightened her grip around me.
I had to lift her chin as hid her face from me using her hair as a barrier but I tucked it behind her hair before kissing her quivering lips. It was brief but soulfully passionate as I stared into her burning auburn eyes.
"You can stop now. I'm sorry," I whispered but as soon as I said that she bolted upwards to stand up and with widened somehow guilty eyes. She stepped a few steps backward before crying heavily again, "You don't fully know me, Saccharide. Please... Break up with me now"
I stood up and said to her, "I don't understand. If that happened, what does it do to all of this..."
"My mom died because she protected me from the bullet that I was supposed to take! She jumped in front of me..." It was chaos. Her words jumped from an event to another. Every word she spits out, the more tears drenches her face.
"It was his husband who shot her. He threatened me. And I- I never talked because I was petrified. Because shreds of evidence can be altered by money, his husband planted non- present evidence and fake witnesses. The day of the trial, my father locked me up in that small house for the whole week of the court trial."
She pulled her hair in frustration and looked down at her feet, "Basically, they just brought me food to eat. I lived like a quarantine dog in a zoo. My classmates were told that I had a serious fever and I needed to rest for a week but some of them visited me... I denied them as I was told..."
"That 1 week became 2...—"
A tear dribbled down my chin.
"3...—"
I cried then I approached her.
"4 weeks—"
Tightly, I hugged her and held her by the waist. I shushed her and removed her vice grip onto his hair that will eventually rip if I hadn't done so. It's selfish of me but as her story progresses, I wanted to know more so I let her continue the narrative.
She hiccupped before continuing, her tears were already staining my sweater, "My father let me out. All he could do was hug me and apologize for the ' inconvenience' as he quoted it,"
"They never invited me to her funeral. My father didn't attend the funeral because he said ' I have no legal business with her'. That makes me illegal, right? I watched from afar as they cried, I stared as the killer cried over her coffin." she whimpered some more.
I know my continuous attempts to make her stop crying were to no avail but I went on anyway, "It's not your fault, Gorgeous..."
She lightly "I shouldn't have existed! I was cursing both of them because they didn't consider abortion!"
I stopped my hand from slapping her so she'll wake up in the reality. Instead, I shed more tears and hugged even tighter. My fresh wounds thankfully didn't spew any blood because of the firmness of our embrace.
"As you said, someone needs your love. If you weren't born... Holocaust flooded the world because of me," I chuckled before kneeling to stare at her face from below because she wouldn't look up.
Smiling, my tears flooded. It was shed just by looking by her hurt face, "I need your love so don't run out of it. Please, it's my only medicine. Fuck everyone else!"
Her eyes showed an insipid stare after I said that, "I stole her, Saccharide..."
"What do you mean?" I gritted my teeth and finally shook her shoulder, "All of that has nothing to do with—"
"I did what I had to do! I seduced a cemetery worker into digging her up from her grave... Then I killed that man while he was undressing for our sex!" she blandly narrated. I didn't know but I released her and took a few steps back.
She continued while staring at me still with her unending soul-sucking orbs, "When he was dead, I dressed him in my mother's funeral clothes before putting him in the coffin. I faked her corpse... After that crime, I kept my mother inside that small house. Every day and night, I'll talk to her... Like she was still alive..."
"The whole house reeked of her rotting flesh after a week. It was before my graduation day in my junior year. My dad visited me so I had to talk to him outside. He offered me to be his recommendation student here in France." she finally smiled and looked away. It's like it was the only good thing that happened to her.
"I accepted it. Until now, I'm not his daughter. I'm just his recommended student from New York," Raine continued, "I'm not lying to Sir Broshe when I say that I have no parents..."
Raine looked at me again before reaching the fallen picture on the ground, "Without hesitation, I snuck my way inside a cremation facility in a worker's uniform..."
Her eyes smiled as she stared at the picture longer, she ran her fingers to dust off the dirt, "I cremated my mother... I stole her from her real family..."
I stepped aside when she walked back to the little shrine and organized it in the way it was before. Turning back at me, I stared at her, "This is the part where you'll walk away from me. You can leave your ring there..."
This is the real Raine Aksenov.
Then who the fuck is that fragile girl who permitted me to hurt her for 2 years?—
Is it all just an act?
Or her fiery eyes that she is presenting now were the act all along...?
Raine turned her back on me and lifted the shovel effortlessly to place it back inside the curtain of vines and tall grasses, "Saccharide... I'm not as pure in your eyes anymore..."
I don't know her anymore.
"So, all of your weakness was all just a fucking act?" I asked bringing the harder diction as I cursed.
She smiled, "It's not... I wish it was all just part of a play but it's not Saccharide..."
"I- I don't know you, Raine..."
Those were my last words before I turned around and walked away like she was hoping. I wasn't disgusted by her actions, but I was deeply shocked and flabbergasted. The sight of my car relieved me but seeing it empty without the innocent black haired girl hollowed my heart even more. I opened the door, got in, and started the engine.