(If you would like to listen to the song that is brought up later on in this chapter. Look up 'Unraveling/Imaginary Live by Evanescence to really get an inside look of what she is experiencing)
Slowly she found herself sitting down in the chair that was next to the window. She gave a sigh as she let it all really fall over her. Closing her eyes as she laid her head back against the back of the chair and just let go of everything she was holding together to hold that mask in place.
Opening her eyes she looked around slowly. It was almost like a studio apartment with the way the whole place was set up. She could see everything except the small area where the bathroom was of course blocked off. It was actually a really nice little place and she would have loved it under different circumstances.
She knew he assumed she most likely didn't like going outdoors. But she had purposely not reacted to the knowledge that she was out there in the middle of the woods. She didn't want him to figure out that she felt more at home in this isolated place snuggled up with mother nature then she ever felt in the city. He may consider taking it away as a punishment after all.
She looked to her phone as it made a noise and saw that her friends got her text. There were so many things she was going to have to try and figure out. How she was going to explain these things, or that she had someone driving her to school was a few of the things she needed to figure out a story for.
Looking back to her surroundings she realized she had a few options now that he was gone. She could take inventory, go and see how much she hated the clothing he probably had chosen for her to wear. See if there was any cable or satellite t.v to watch, or if the nice computer that was sitting there had any form of internet connection.
However she decided she could wait on all of those. Pulling out her mp3 player she looked to see if it even had a charge. To her surprise and delight it actually had a full charge. Decision was made easily then as she went and took her shoes off and then opened the front door to the night air.
The moon was bright and the sky was clear, though the canopy of the trees did make the shadows darker she was able to see once she let her eyes adjust a bit. She walked off the porch and looked down the drive and how it disappeared into the darkness after so far away.
Then she turned and walked around the cabin, looking around at all the overgrowth and forest around her, taking joy in the feel of grass and earth beneath her feet as she was able to relax further. No one was around, no one to judge her, or hurt her. She was out here in the quiet embrace of the only place she had ever felt safe.
The music in her ears added a whole new sense of calm as she let it all fall away. She stopped focusing on all her problems. Of the monsters that were ruling her life and threatening to break her down. Even though her life kept her from feeling free, even before she had met the man named Nathanial, here she was free.
It wasn't just the feel of the earth under her feet, but the earthy smell that surrounded her, the fresh air that wasn't thick with the continued reminder that there were people about. No this was a world that smells of earth, fur, and instinct. This was a world that wasn't full of lies and empty promises. This wasn't a world where you couldn't trust what you could see and feel, this was a world that was as it appeared to be.
Even with the blanket of darkness that shrouded everything, she could make out the basic shapes and tell what was around her, even find the small game trails that lead deeper into the woods. She wasn't afraid of getting lost, this was the only time she ever felt sure of where she was after all.
The soft melody of piano filled her ears as she walked through the forest, letting the moonlight ahead guide her in where to go. Hands lightly tracing the edges of trees as she passed, the gentle caress of violin came in to accompany the piano and she couldn't help herself as she felt something inside seem to soar through her.
No fear of eyes and judgement as she moved through the forest, her body moving with ease as she sang along with the song that rang through her ears. Unable to help the emotions at how much the words resonated inside her and the life she currently led. Yet the darkness around her seemed to open up before her own eyes as if her imagination sprang to life in this moment of freedom.
It was as though the air itself hummed with the melody of her own words as the glow of blue fire flies danced with her in the moonlight. The moonlight itself seemed to reflect and shine upon everything in the clearing as shades of purples and blues danced with a silver blanket upon it all around her.
Instead of cold darkness she now could see a place filled with magic and enchantment, every blade of grass, every tree, every woodland creature nestled deep to sleep or out foraging. There was a hum, a vibrance there to which she felt she could see and feel within that moment as she sang and let her emotions finally fall from her.
From the hurt, the fear, the heartache, the loneliness, even the sorrow of loss that fell from her as tears did finally fall in all this long time where they had been held at bay. It fell from her and fueled that magical moment she covered herself in, there under the moonlight in a world that she could feel and understand.
As she let it all go from her in this place of true safety she felt that renewed strength fill her, as those blue little fireflies danced around her they shifted colors to deep purples and pinks as her own emotions shifted, the grass below her feet seemed to stretch and grow towards the moonlight, the trees themselves seemed to try and reach out and get a taste of that light and life around her.
Flowers that had yet to reach season for bloom grew and matured, blossoming even there in the moonlight, little sparkles of dust from pollen seemed to glow and give them a life of their own in response to her voice and her emotions as she danced.
She let all those negative feelings go and took comfort and solace in her safe haven. Allowed herself to be filled with joy and the love she knew she would never see in the real world. This was the only place, the only moments where she would come close to seeing anything as magical as that. She soaked it up and let it fall over her through the warmth that seemed to fill the air around her.
Yet the song soon drifted and had to come to an end, her own voice drifted from the moment as all the lights and magic that seemed to surround her in this scene seemed to simply fade away. Everything she was seeing in that moment died and faded back into the darkness that was really there. Reality set in as she finally started to feel tired with the sudden emotional outburst she had allowed herself to have there in the dark silence of the woods.
As the next song came on she gave a sigh and looked around for a few moments before she reached up and wiped away the tears she had felt fall. She could barely see the slight shine on her hand in the moonlight as she stood there before she looked around, the air was starting to feel chilled again now that she wasn't so absorbed in her own mind and allowing herself to pretend.
A sigh escaped her as she looked at the world around her, then she started back the way she had come. Fields of Innocence by Evanescence came on and while she sang along with it, her voice a beautiful melody filled with emotion. It wasn't quite the same as she walked back to reality. Even as she imagined a light glow leaving her fingertips as she touched the trees she passed, she had used up a lot of her energy in that burst before.
Each and every song she listened to, while the melodies filled her body, they were always chosen for their words. Perhaps she was too literal a person, or perhaps she really did see as deep into the messages within them. Regardless she couldn't help the ache that accompanied her as she listened and sang on her way back to the cabin.
Just as she knew, she didn't get lost. She made it back to the cabin, feeling the heavy tiredness behind her eyes already from her tears she was ready to just try and sleep. Perhaps dream and have another moment of escape from the reality she was now faced with.
She went inside the cabin and closed the door. Locking it behind her as she did so just in case though she doubted anyone would come. He had asked if she held any talents, and she had told him no. However she had the singing voice of an angel trapped within her that she didn't even know about, she never let anyone hear her due to her own insecurities.
As she got herself ready for bed she didn't think twice of her little adventure outside of the fact that she felt a little better, a little calmer. It never occurred to her that her imagined reality could indeed be a form of reality created by her own hands. Never did she consider that everything she had done and seen, had also been seen and heard by another there in the darkness of the night. Instead she set her alarm and went to sleep without a second thought to what she had done could mean, while that set of eyes had something new to consider about her.