I made my way back to the palace. The closer I got, the more nervous I felt. I hope I can just slip into my room and sleep. I really don't want to talk to anyone else. Even though talking to Serenity has brought some clarity into my life, I'm just too exhausted to talk it through. I'm not mad anymore, but I've had enough emotions for one day.
I crept inside quietly and closed the door without any sound. I turned around and made my way back to the grand staircase. I finally got to my room after about 5-10 minutes of walking. Seriously this place is hella huge. I got to my room and walked inside. Surprisingly, the place was completely cleaned up and pretty much back to the same state it was before. I went and immediately showered and changed into just a large overshirt and panties before crawling into bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out.
The morning came faster than I liked. At this moment I really didn't appreciate the sun. I feel like I barely slept at all; my head was hurting badly. I wonder if they have some type of pain killer here. I wonder how today is going since everything that happened yesterday.
I soon heard a knock that pulled me out of thoughts. I let out a frustrated groan while looking up to my ceiling. I'm honestly considering skipping breakfast, even though it's my favorite meal of the day. What to do, what to do. I heard the knock again along with Gregor's voice, and right now, I wish I was deaf. I got out of bed and flung open the door, staring at Gregor fiercely. His eyes grew wide, and I could see him visibly gulp.
"Hello, miss. It's time for breakfast." He stuttered out slightly. I just smirked at his behavior.
"I don't if I want to. Can it just be delivered up to my room?" He shook his head no.
"The queen requests your presence." I scoffed at this.
"And I request your queen to kiss my ass. Just send me my food." I then shut the door in his face, crawled back into my bed, and put on The office. I soon heard a faint knock on my door, and I could already smell the food from here. My mouth was watering. I went to the door, and to my distaste, she was there.
"Hi, I brought your breakfast. May I come in?" I rolled my eyes and gestured for her to come in. I yanked my breakfast out of her hands and made my way to my bed. Today I had chicken and waffles, with a side of fruit and orange juice. How do they know this is my favorite meal for breakfast?
"Yeah, I have eyes. I can see that you brought my food." I said with as much sarcasm as I could. She just sighed sadly and dropped her head, looking at the floor.
"I'm sorry." I hummed.
"Mhm…" She looked up at me, and I swear she looked distressed. I could see the slight darkness under her eyes telling me she didn't sleep.
"I had no idea she would do that. I swear." I rolled my eyes at this.
"I believe you, for the most part. My biggest problem was you being conflicted about which person to choose. That's the part that has me fucked up. I've already told you that I don't know how this mate thing works. But what I do know is that if this is what it's going to be like, I don't want any part of it."I went off on a rant. I stepped off of my soapbox to hear her response, but I was met with a terrified expression on her face.
"It's not that easy." What she just said made my stomach knot up. I have completely lost my appetite.
"It really is, though. Her or me, but since you can't choose, I will for you. I reject you." I felt a horrible pain in my chest, and she must have felt it too because she dropped down to her knees, clutching hers. She snapped her head up to me, and I could see her tear tracks glistening. I was breaking and falling to pieces, but I maintained an unphased exterior.
"You don't mean that." She stood up shakily and made her way towards. She gripped my chin and brought my face to where we were making eye contact. I couldn't deny the sparks that flew through my veins, the warmth I felt spread to every inch of my being, and the feelings that have exponentially grown for her. Her eyes were glowing, and they are honestly my weakness. I want to give in, but I will never allow myself to be a choice, let alone a second one.
"I can't allow myself to be a choice to you. I won't settle for anything less than a priority, and you've proven that I'm not. You're broken, but you broke me first. Please leave... Don't make this harder than it needs to be." I sighed deeply while getting out of my bed. I walked over to the door and opened it for her to leave. She hesitantly started to leave the room, stopping to look at me right before she fully exited. Once she was out, I closed the door and slid down to the floor, silently crying.