"This thing needs some better shocks…"
Alex rubbed his back as the hard wood beneath his bottom bounced heavily with every tiny dip in the road. Celia laughed at him while covering her mouth like a proper lady, and even Quinn frowned at Alex's words.
"What are 'shocks'? And why does the wagon require them?"
"Shocks are… Know what, forget it. If it's a confusing thing, just assume it's some more Earth talk."
His large companion nodded, looking over the supplies they had gathered. He was wearing minimalistic plate armor, allowing for easy movement while still offering protection, especially to someone who knew how to defend against blows.
At his side sat a shield, roughly the same height as Treya, and he had no sword. Alex had protested when Quinn appeared without a weapon, but Celia stopped his words short. She explained that a sword in unskilled hands was more dangerous than not having one at all. Besides, she continued, Alex and Treya had more than enough firepower for the four of them.
"The big, bad soldier is complaining about a simple little carriage ride? I may need to reevaluate your importance, Master Jaeger."
ALICE's laughter was drowned out by Quinn speaking up once more.
"Your Highness, why does one of your status address Ser Jaeger as 'Master'? Shouldn't it be the other way around?"
Celia shook her head. "No, he is my Master! I swore my life and soul to him. And my body!"
Quinn looked at Alex with shock, and Alex hurriedly waved his hands to try and dismiss the notion. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! That is NOT a thing! She keeps trying to throw herself at me, and I am NOT okay with it!"
Celia's pout looked genuine. Alex knew it wasn't. "What a big bully! You even force me to follow your orders, don't you? 'When you say jump,' was it?"
"Hey, now! That's not… I mean… You know that isn't… Stop twisting my words!"
"I am unsure if I can hold the same respect for you as before, Ser Jaeger.��
The devious glint in Celia's eyes only angered Alex further as he directed his building ire towards the Lycan.
"And YOU! Stop calling me that. My name is Alex, bro. I'm not a knight or anything like that, so just call me Alex."
"But you are a knight of your own world, are you not? You work for your country as a warrior. Is that not what a knight is?"
"That…"
ALICE's voice chimed in next, and it sounded like she was laughing harder than Celia ever had.
"Oh my god, he's right! You're a knight, Fenrir! Just imagine: you all decked out in shiny armor, waving a sword around. Sooooo gallant!"
Her laughter continued as Alex's face turned a dark shade of red. As if things weren't out of hand enough, Quinn's questions continued.
"And you, magic staff woman. Why do you address Ser Jaeger as 'Fenrir'? Is that an honorific from Earth?"
Alex opened his mouth to try and preempt ALICE's reply, but he was a fraction of a second too late.
"Honorific? This buffoon? HA! Far from it, actually. It is the name of a god in the mythology of Earth. A giant wolf who causes the end of the world!"
"Why ever would you call him such a name?!"
"Because I think he's the kind of moron who will-"
"Because I have tattoos of wolves all over my body. I think they're cool. It's just a stupid nickname. Oh, look, ALICE, you seem dirty. Wonder if I need to clean you."
There was a slight edge to his voice, and ALICE picked up on the threat.
"Oh, go trip off a building, Alex."
"Fine, but I'll use you to break my fall."
That shut her up. Meanwhile, Celia was still trying her best not to laugh, covering her mouth as her shoulders shook.
At least Alex could count on Treya to be sane during this journey. She seemed as level-headed as his joes back home. Which was saying a lot.
"I wonder if he'd clean me, too, if I asked."
Alex heard Treya's softly spoken words, as if she was talking to herself from the front of the wagon. He groaned and planted his face in his hands.
"Please, for the love of all that is holy, just kill me now…"