It's Monday, the best day of the week in my opinion. Why? Because I know that on a Monday I share two classes with her. After not seeing her for almost two days, I look forward to going back to school, to see her more. On a weekend I only see her briefly, she sometimes takes her little brother to the park around 10am. Every Saturday night at approximately 7pm, the delivery guy pulls up outside of her house to deliver the pepperoni pizza she ordered. I see her answering the door in a baggy top and a pair of shorts, she always looks beautiful, especially in those glasses of hers. Quite often she leaves her pizza, she throws it in the trash can on a Sunday morning after deciding she doesn't want to eat it cold. I like to take the pizza home with me. I don't eat it or anything, I just sit with it for a while, knowing she's touched it as I see the teeth marks. I know it's not her brothers pizza, or her mom or dads, they usually share a Margarita, only she likes the pepperoni, it's the only pizza I eat now.
It's September, school started two weeks ago, thank god. I hate the school holidays, it means I don't get to see her as much as I want. Her family always go on vacation for about three weeks, it kills me watching her leave. They don't go far, only to visit her grandparents in New York. It could be worse, they could leave the country like they did two years ago, that completely killed me. New York nice though, I've been there a few times to see her, her grandparents house seems nice, from what I've seen from the outside anyways.
I leave the house early this morning, 1 hour early. I used to leave the house just 10 minutes before school started but that had to change, she started arriving earlier. Band class changed their times, usually they would start straight after school and sometimes at lunch. Since Mr. Cowell took over the club though, they now also have meetings in the morning. I usually don't see much from standing outside the door, but the quick glance I give her as I walk slowly by makes it so worth it arriving early.
I arrive at SinClair at 7am. The schools empty as always, the only people around at this time are the teachers, the janitor and of course the Band class. I walk through the long narrow hallways and stop when I reach my locker. I enter the combination into my locker and retrieve my English book, if anyone asks I always make up the excuse that I'm catching up on late homework. I can't have anyone knowing that I arrive at school just to see her. I just can't. I check my appearance in the small pink mirror attached to the inside of my locker door. I look hot as always. My long black hair is tied up in a ponytail, my brown eyes that often changes colors based on my mood they stand out even more with the new mascara I'm wearing. I'm wearing red lip balm, it makes my lips look even more kissable and plump. I rub my lips together and smile at myself through the mirror, I'm about to see her. I straighten out my cheerleader uniform and adjust the collar of my jacket before closing my locker door and walking further down the hallway.
Before I know it, I'm standing outside of the band room. I quickly peek through the small window and search the room looking for her. It doesn't take me long to notice her, she's sitting on one of the blue chairs right at the back. She's reading something, I don't know what it is but I'm sure I'll find out later. She looks beautiful. She's wearing her usual clothing, a knitted jumper with animals on and a pair of dark blue jeans. Her long blonde hair is falling down her shoulders covering a part of her face. Her thick square glasses start to slip down her nose so she quickly pushes them back up, I'm smiling at how adorable she looks. My favourite part about her is those beautiful hazel eyes of hers. They're breathtaking, she's breathtaking. She likes to sit by herself whilst the others sing and talk amongst themselves. Usually she sits and reads, sometimes she participates by singing or dancing with the others, but nothing makes her happier than just watching the people around her. A few seconds later, I see her look up from the book she's reading, she's watching a girl named Zendaya sing a song by Whitney Houston.
"Dinah." I whisper with a smile on my face as I watch her sway from side to side.
I only watch Dinah for a few more moments, there is always someone passing through the hallways and I really don't want to explain why I'm standing outside of the band room spying on the band. Well, not the band class, Dinah. I hear the sound of footsteps echoing through the hallways so I catch one last glance at my love then hurry away from the room. For the remaining 54 minutes, I sit in the library and pretend to look like I'm actually doing something.
First period is boring, it's a boring subject and she's not in this class, I can't help but wonder what she's doing right now. I know she's in Science at the moment, she's sitting next to this ugly sweaty guy. I sometimes ask for permission to leave class just to make sure she's okay, I always worry when she sits next to that creep. I know he's a jock and would never talk to her, but I can never be too sure.
I don't like it when anyone talks to Dinah, not even her friends. She gets bullied a lot which makes me want to keep an eye on her even more. She's not very good with people, she's even nervous around her band mates, it's just who she is. I wish people would just leave her alone, I would prefer that and I know she would as well.
After that depressing class, I walk to my locker to swap books. As I'm messing about with my locker combination, I hear somebody call my name. I turn on my heels and face a girl with long black hair and green eyes. My friend Lauren.
"Jesus Christ Normani, you're alive!" Lauren says, faking a gasp and covering her mouth with her hand.
I roll my eyes. "Obviously, idiot." I say in that low sexy voice of mine. Yes, I do have a sexy voice.
"You've been avoiding my texts and phone calls all weekend." Lauren moans, taking off her cheerios jacket and placing it into her bag.
I advert my eyes to the floor. It's true, I have been ignoring Lauren, I have no other choice though, I need to give my full attention to Dinah. I've always given my full attention to Dinah, ever since I first laid eyes on her 3 years ago. Things have changed recently though, my obsession with Dinah has increased, I need to know where she is at all times now. I ignore my friends most of the time now, just so they can't distract me.
"Sorry." I mumble, opening my locker. "I just have loads of homework and stuff." I lied.
"Homework? We've only been back to school for two weeks and you already have a ton of homework?! I nod my head. "Fuck, you unlucky bastard."
I laugh. "I know, it's always me."
"Yeah, suppose it is. Anyways, Saturday night was crazy! We all went to Brad's house and got absolutely fucked up, seriously I'll have to tell about what happened in the kitchen when-" Lauren trailed off. I listen for a while but then I see her walking down the hallway and time stops.
Dinah's head is lowered to the floor, she's nervous I know she is. She's clinging onto her books like someone is going to take them from her. I watch her intently, I never take my eyes off of her, cursing under my breath as someone blocks my view. The boy quickly runs away as he catches my killer glare, my face then softens as I watch the back of Dinah. Lauren hasn't noticed I'm not paying any attention to her so she continues her story as I watch my love mess about with something in her locker.
The bell soon rings, signalling class is about to start. A wide smile appears on my face, I hate Math but this is one of the classes I share with Dinah, which means this is one of my favourites.
"I then woke up the next morning feeling half dead with the biggest hangover ever." I hear the last of Lauren story and nod my head, pretending that I listened to what she said.
"Sounds like a good night." I smile, flicking my eyes from Dinah to Lauren.
"Yeah...if a good night means about 10 people getting locked up." Lauren moves beside me and opens her own locker.
"Bye." I say to my friend, following Dinah to the math class. I hear Lauren screaming something down the hallway but I don't look back, I need to keep my eyes on Dinah.
I enter the classroom and make my way to the back to take my seat. The class is only half full, most people take their time when getting to this lesson. I watch Dinah talking to Mr. Nile about her homework. She loves studying, it's one of her favourite things, unfortunately I hate studying, It's boring and I just can't stand homework. Mr. Nile gives Dinah a booklet which I'm assuming has lots of math questions in, I'm smiling because I know she will love that. My heart flutters as she turns around and I get to see those beautiful eyes. I often blush when I see her face, I've never seen anybody as perfect.
Dinah makes her way to the back of the class, she stops and takes her seat directly in front of mine. She's so close I can smell the Beyoncé perfume she's wearing, I close my eyes and inhale a few times. When I reopen my eyes I see her looking around the room, she has no one to talk to. The rest of the class are talking amongst themselves but neither of Dinah's friends are in this class so she's even quieter than usual. A few of the cheerleaders are in this math class but I don't let them sit next to me, ever. What if one day Dinah decides she wants to sit beside me and then she realizes the seat is already occupied? I couldn't take the risk, the seat must always be available just in case she wants it. I've waited so long for her to turn around and look at me, but she never does. She never sees me, I'm just a popular cheerleader to her.
"Excuse me, can I borrow a pencil?" A boy with blonde hair asks Dinah.
My love turns to the left to face the boy. She shakes her head and I see her starting to feel nervous. "I don't h-have another one, sorry." She mumbles, turning back around.
The boy rolls his eyes. "Let me have yours then." His voice is more aggressive now, I don't like it.
Dinah doesn't think twice, she hands the boy her pencil and I see him smirking at her. I'm furious, he took Dinah's pencil which means she has nothing to write with now, she loves this class and she can't even do her work! I need to give her my pencil. I know she wants to do her work, she'll be unhappy otherwise and that is unacceptable. I'm about to lean forward and tap her shoulder to get her attention. This is it, I'm about to talk to my love for the very first time. I take a deep breath and just as I am about to speak, a boy with glasses on the other side of Dinah, talks first.
"Here, I have a spare pencil you can use." Another blond haired boy with goofy teeth extends his arm and gives the pencil to Dinah. My eyes widen at this.
"Thank you." Dinah whispers in a soft voice, grateful that somebody has helped her out. I'm unhappy though, that should have been me given her that pencil. She should have been thanking me, not him. The first words my love would of ever said to me was, 'thank you.' Instead she still hasn't spoke to me, because of that goofy bastard.
"It's no problem, I'm Leo by the way." The ugly fucker extends his hand which Dinah shakes.
"Dinah." She smiles, showing her beautiful white teeth.
I'm surprised nobody has turned around to face me yet, my breathing is so loud I can barley hear the conversation going on in front of me. I do listen though, how could I possibly ignore this? How dare he speak to her, I can't believe it, she's my girl, not his.
"This is my first day, just transferred here." Leo says, trying to make conversation. I don't know how Dinah feels about this, does she want this idiot talking to her? Usually she doesn't like talking to strangers so she always keeps the conversation short and simple. I'm about to find out, either she likes me or she doesn't.
"That's cool." She replies, taking the pencil and writing a few things down on paper.
My breathing starts to slow down, she doesn't like him. She doesn't want him talking to her, she doesn't want anything to do with him, I can tell she's a bit scared of him. She doesn't have to be scared though, I'll always be here watching her, making sure she's okay.
"Yeah it is cool." Leo laughs, annoying me further. "Hey, I was wondering if there are any clubs I can join, I like to be involved with things. It's a good way of making friends." Leo says.
My eyes shift from Dinah to Leo, I'm hoping she doesn't mention band class, I can't have him being around her more. She might actually start to like him and then my life will be over. What about if she falls in love with him, gets married and has children, HIS children. Oh god, I feel like I'm having a heart attack, this is all too much, I have to do something, I have to-"
I stop my thoughts when I hear Dinah's soft voice. "I'm not sure." She mumbles. Thank god she hasn't mentioned band class. "Y-you could join the knitting club."
That's a great idea, the knitting club is nowhere near the choir room. Dinah doesn't like knitting so they'll never cross paths. He'll only be in this class with her and that's it. I'll be able to control whatever could possibly happen between them.
Leo sighs and shakes his head. "I like the idea of knitting but I don't think I would like to join the knitting club. Is there no singing clubs I could join? I really love to sing."
My breathing increases once again. The only club that has singing in SinClair is the band. The club which Dinah goes to. This is terrible, this couldn't be any worse, goofy fucker will end up joining the band, I know he will. I can see Dinah's mouth opening, she's about to tell about him about the band, she has no other choice. My hearts pounding through my chest, I can't take this, I have to do something, NOW!
"Excuse me idiot but I'm trying to work so if you don't mind, please face forward and shut your mouth." I hiss at Leo. The boy looks terrified and I don't blame him, he should be terrified, nobody speaks to my love without me approving. Nobody.
"Oh...sorry." Leo says, doing as I said and facing forward. A smile tugs to my lips, I know he wont be talking to Dinah for the rest of class.
For the remaining half an hour, I sit watching Dinah. I watch her when she drops the pen on the floor and then bends down to pick it up. I watch as she sneezes and pulls out a tissue from her bag to wipe her nose. I watch her scratch her head whilst trying to work out an algebra question. I do nothing but watch her. By the end of class, the blank piece of paper in front of me is still blank, the new pen is still unopened and I still don't know anything about maths. I do however learn more about my love. I catch a glimpse of the pair of socks she is wearing, simba from the lion king. I never knew she liked simba, I guess I'll just have to add that to the list of likes and dislikes I keep under my bed.
"Coach D is still looking for a new head cheerleader, maybe she'll pick me." A cheerleader says. We are currently sitting in the cafeteria eating our lunch, Dinah is at the other end of the room sitting with Camila and Zendaya, her two closest friends.
"I doubt it." I tell the cheerleader. "Why would she be interested in you? You're nothing but average, if there's anyone coach D will pick, it's me." I state.
The girl rolls her eyes. "Please Normani, like you're anything special." I hear a few cheerleader on the table giggle at her comment, I glare at them all and tell them to shut their mouths.
"I am way more talented than all of you...sluts." I look down at them. It's true, the cheerleaders are nothing but a bunch of sluts.
"Yeah, and you're the biggest slut." A blonde cheerleader comments.
"I'm not a slut." I hiss, slamming my hand down on the table. I'm really not a slut, in fact, I have never slept with anyone. Why would I? I only have eyes for Dinah, why would I want to sleep with anyone else?
"You slept with 3 guys last week." One of the sluts say. So I may be a virgin but the whole school can't find out. I'll lose my status on the cheerleaders, people have to believe I have slept with people. That's the way it will always be. Besides, I'm a closet lesbian, I have no interest in men whatsoever.
Being a cheerleader means I can protect my love. When people hurt her, I slash them with my vicious words. I threaten them, I do everything I can. They never end up bothering Dinah again, not most of the time anyways. Without cheerleading, I don't have a reputation. People would laugh at my words, they wouldn't take me seriously which means they wouldn't stop hurting Dinah.
With Dinah on my mind, I look across the cafeteria to see what she is doing. She's currently eating a ham sandwich, I know this because I can see the sandwich and ham is her favourite. Zendaya and Camila are talking amongst themselves, probably about their ridiculous boyfriends.
I'm so focused on Dinah, I completely ignore my so called friends. Dinah's eyes are searching around the room, she likes to examine the area for any possible dangers, she tries to stay away from the jocks. As she's looking around the room, her eyes land on me. My breath hitches as her beautiful hazel eyes meet mines.
There's a staring competition going on between us at the moment. My eyes never leaving hers and hers never leaving mine. It's like the whole world has stopped and right now it's only us, nobody else is around. I block out the sounds of laughter to focus more on my love. I see her tilting her head to the side, she's intrigued. I know she's probably wondering why a cheerleader is staring at her, she doesn't have to worry though, I wont hurt her, I'm not planning anything. Looking at the beautiful girl across the room, I swear to myself, one of these days I will build up the courage to talk to her.
I smile at her, she doesn't return the smile though, instead she frowns. I feel saddened by this action but it's okay, I'm hoping one day she will smile at me the way I smile at her. It takes time though. You'd think after 3 years of obsession over Dinah Jane Hansen, I would have at least spoke to her, but I can't. I'm scared in case she doesn't love me back.
Dinah breaks the eye contact first which also upsets me. I wish it were just me and her, that way nobody could distract us, we would never have to take our eyes off each other. I look to the left of Dinah to see which idiot pulled my love away from me. It's that goofy fucker, Leo. He's standing over her, what the fuck. I can't hear a word that he's saying, I really need to sit closer to Dinah in future, I can't stand this. She's laughing at something, I bet that bastard made a joke trying to impress her. He's not even hot, he is just a stupid fucking boy who should back away from my girl. The anger inside of me builds up so much that I don't realize I have crushed the bottle of water in my hand causing it to spill all over.
"Normani!" Lauren yells as the water squirts all over her. I'm momentarily pulled away from Dinah by a slap on the arm. "Watch what you're doing!" Lauren shouts.
I'm so pissed, this can't be happening to me, that bastard is making her laugh. I feel like I'm about to cry, my heart is breaking. I have to do something. That's when a plan pops into my head, I know what I have to do to ensure Leo stays away from Dinah, period.
History with Dinah didn't go well. It turns out Leo is also in that class much to my dismay. It's now 8pm, I'm standing outside of Leo's house wearing a black hoody and a pair of sweatpants. My hands are in my pocket, I'm waiting for him to leave the house, apparently he goes to the gym every Monday night. I sort of found out more about him and followed him home, this is something I have to do.
Eventually Leo leaves the house with a large bag on his shoulder. He gets in his car and drives down the street. I follow behind him in my own car, keeping my distance making sure not to spook him. He parks his car outside of an old warehouse where he trains. I get out of the car before him and hurry to the passenger seat, opening the door and sliding in.
"What the fuck?" Leo says, slightly scared by my presence. I sit in his car facing him. At first I don't say anything, I just look at him in disgust.
"You are going to listen to me." I tell him, freaking him out by the eye contact. I can tell that my eyes changed colors they tend to do that based on my emotions and I'm highly pissed at the moment so I know for a fact my eyes are darker than normal.
He gulps. "Ok." He whispers.
"Today was your first day at SinClair, right?" He nods his head. "Today was also your last."
He frowns, he's clearly confused. "W-what?" He stutters.
"You are never to return to that school, do you understand me?" He doesn't say anything so I continue before he does say something. "Tell your parents you hate that school. You want to transfer to Lenoir high because apparently that's a much better school. It has better clubs, greater opportunities and the people are so much nicer."
"What are you-" He tries to interrupt but I hold up my hand.
"If I see you in school tomorrow, or any other day... I will kill you." I threaten.
I hear a gasp leaving his mouth, he should be afraid, I'm serious about this. The possibility of him becoming friends with Dinah or something more, terrifies me. In order to make sure this doesn't happen, I have to scare him. He has to know this isn't a joke and that he should really listen to what I am saying if he values his life.
"You don't tell your parents about this threat, you don't tell anyone anything." I wait until he nods his head before continuing. "Everybody you met at SinClair, don't talk to them again. I saw you hanging out with a blonde girl today, Dinah?" He nods again. "You will never contact her again, do you understand? Today never happened for you, forget about it all."
"I w-will." He says with tears in his eyes. "I'll forget about it all, just p-please don't hurt me." He cries.
"I'm not going to hurt you." I quickly say. "I will only hurt you if I see you at SinClair again or near any of the people you happened to meet today."
"O-ok, can you please go now." He sobs. A smile tugs to my face, not a big smile though, I still want to look terrifying. I nod my head and glare at him one more time before leaving his car.
I pull away from the old building and look into my mirror to see Leo sitting in his car with horror written all over his face. I have a feeling he won't be returning to SinClair. I know he will never speak to Dinah again, this satisfies me greatly.
A while later I arrive back at my house. My dad is working late shifts so I'm alone tonight. I make my way upstairs and into my bedroom. As I enter my room, I close and lock the door behind me, I can't have anyone seeing this room. I turn on my light and look around my room. I have a large queen size bed in the middle of the room, a desk, a closet, and a beautiful fur rug. My whole room is black. Black duvet covers, black curtains, black walls and carpet.
I then look at my walls, my room is filled with Dinah. All the photographs I have taken of Dinah are on my wall, the ones I had took of her in her bedroom, in the park, even pictures I managed to take when she was visiting her grandparents. I also have a box in my room with more of Dinah's things. Her hairbrush which still has her hairs in, her favourite shampoo, her pen she lost the other week. This is the reason I have to have a lock on my door, I can't risk anyone seeing this. I look around my room and smile at all the photos of Dinah, she's perfect.
I smile at all the good I have done tonight. Leo is out of Dinah's life forever. Everyone should know that Dinah is off limits. I walk around my room and look at more photographs, I gazed at a certain one of her playing on the swings two years ago. She has a wide smile on her face, I remember taking the photograph from the trees with my new camera equipment.
She's mine. Dinah is mine.