'Am I dead?' - that's what Luciel wondered repeatedly, followed by - 'Or am I still alive?'
Submerged in total darkness, or so he thought, because Luciel was right now in a place where he could not feel, he was totally unable to see, taste, hear, smell, or feel, his five senses were completely disabled , he could only think with himself, which sometimes made it difficult for him to understand the situation in which he was.
"Is this the limbo?"
In the eternal dark, he could only think, he had no idea how much time had passed, if it was that he had only been here a few minutes, or maybe months, or possibly years, he did not know if he was in hell or in the limbo, waiting to be judged.
'I miss you too much…' - Thinking about his family was also something that the young man thought about too many times.
'Mom' - thinking of her, that person who when he came down from his room to the dining room, was always the first to see him, and who when she saw him smiled at him with so much love and warmth, she, who taught him that he should always to learn from mistakes, and that it didn't matter if he made a mistake once or twice, he always had to get up harder and try one more time.
"If you put your mind to it, you can achieve anything." - she said when Luciel was upset because he fails to do something.
'Dad.' - thinking of him, who always knew what to say to him when he was in a bad mood or had no idea what to do, he always listened to him and gave him advice, he helped him grow as a better person. He who always taught him that a man should always take care of his family and be respectful to others.
"Real men only cry in the most important moments son, the most important and valuable thing about a man are his tears." – he said when Luciel was crying.
'Sister' - thinking of her, who, although it seemed that they were getting along badly, in reality they loved each other and took care of each other, being the best of friends, because they fully trusted each other, and she was always willing to listen to his problems and she kept his greatest secrets.
"Don't worry, you will see that in a few years you will grow up, and there will be no girl who can resist your smile." – she said when Luciel talked to her about his crush.
'I miss you too much.' Thinking about them killed him, but at the same time it kept him sane, although it was very painful, because whenever he thought about them, his mind relived those last moments, that fateful day that changed everything.
He was barely twelve years old, it was the stage in his life in which he should be happy, enjoying moments with his family, spending time playing with his friends, and worrying about absurd things such as how to declare himself successful to his crush, and yet, here he is, in the middle of a darkness where he could only think, where he could not see, taste, hear, smell or feel anything, without knowing if he was dead, or if he was still alive.
In this place, he spent most of his time thinking about his family, his friends, his home, and, above all, that day and why? - 'Why me? Why my family? Why that day? Why did that have to happen? Damn! Why?! "- Luciel had no idea why what happened that day happened, because they were not warned of what would happen. - 'Why can't I just ... forget?'
'Mom' - but, he couldn't help thinking about them, especially about being able to hold onto those beautiful memories, about the good times he spent with his family, and, although thinking about that also hurt him a lot, only then could he calm down and not go crazy, not sink into madness and depression, not let himself die as time passes, despite loneliness, remembering them, he no longer felt so alone, remembering their faces, their smiles, their voices, their grimaces, their anger, their laughter, the joy, the warmth, and the love, he wanted to hold onto those thoughts that are in his mind (and thinking that in the same way in his heart), that he is not alone, as long as he keep remembering and thinking about them.
'Dad.' - despite the sudden emergence of that specific memory, those final moments, he tried hard to just think and remember those beautiful moments, in the happiest and most joyous moments of his life, in those moments when he was with them, in the moments where he felt safe, happy, loved and important, in those moments that marked his childhood, in those moments that are now worth everything to him, in those moments in which he wanted to return to experiment, in those moments where everything was perfect for him.
'Sister.' - yes, those moments, that before all this, he really did not value much, but that now are everything to him, those moments when his mother smiled at him when going down to breakfast, those moments when his father played with him in the yard, those moments at sunset when he chatted with his sister about what had happened in the day, those moments when his parents wished him good night, those moments when his sister gave him an kiss on the forehead just before he fell asleep, those moments, where they were with him, and just thinking about it… it hurt him so much.
'I miss you.' - Well, when thinking about those moments, he wanted to be able to return, to be able to hug them, to be able to feel the warmth of their bodies, hear their voices, see their faces, nothing else was important to him than being able to be with them , but, unfortunately, that would not happen, he was in this place, alone, and in which he was only capable of thinking, he could only remember those moments, he could only try to erase, discard, forget that fateful day, and even so, it was the most engraved on his mind, those last moments.
He could not think or remember anything at that moment, he could only watch with agony and helplessness his loved ones being devoured by the flames, and now he lamented and regretted not being able to be with them, to hug them, to tell them that he really loved them.
His mother - 'Mom, thank you for everything, thank you for putting up with my tantrums, thank you for always supporting me, thank you for being there to hug me when I am sad, thank you for being my source of strength, for being my heroine who is capable of doing whatever for me, thank you for giving me life and for loving me so much. '
His father - 'Dad, thank you for raising me, for teaching me to be a better person, for teaching me the fun of small moments, for teaching me that there is more to life than money, for standing up for me, for being patient and for showing me that there is more than one option when it comes to solving a problem, thank you for being part of my life and for loving me so much. '
His sister - 'Sister, thank you for always listening to me, regardless of the time or day, for giving me your time, for keeping my secrets and giving me your wisdom, for teaching me to have more confidence in myself, for being my best friend, for take care of me and trust me, thank you for always being there and for loving me so much. '
Yes, he missed his family - 'Please ... I just wish to see you again ... I just wish that this was just a horrible nightmare, and that I could wake up, see you, hug you, tell you how much I love you, and be able to make our journey together, being together, and tell you that I suffered a lot and learned from this damn nightmare, to show them that I have changed, to show them now my total love and support, to be able to be a better son and brother, yes ... I hope this was just a damn nightmare, and when I wake up, you be alive, and waiting for me with a smile on your faces ... '
But, that was impossible, or so he thought, after all, it was impossible that he could have a nightmare of this magnitude, he and his family must have died on that fateful day, and he must be in some kind of limbo , in the afterlife, or maybe this place is his hell, a place where only madness and suffering await him ... Or ... maybe not.
Sometimes, very few times in life, miracles happen, miracles that change everything, even the fate of people.
'Eh?' - Suddenly, a huge white light appeared, covering Luciel once more. - 'What's wrong?' - he thought as he lost consciousness again.
It was time for a new stage in Luciel's life to begin, a new beginning where he and many others awaited.
'I just want to see you one more time.' - that, that was Luciel's last thought in that place, and once the light that covered Luciel disappeared, that place was once again a dark place, but, this time the young man was no longer there.