No matter how hard she tried to push away the question doctor had asked her about her dad, it still made its way back into her mind. All her life she had kept longing for love from both of her parents but they didn't love her. She was just a nuisance for them, just another mouth to feed. She always wondered why she was considered unworthy of love even when she performed well in her studies and didn't do any drugs whatsoever. That is the basic criteria of being a good kid amongst brown families but she, unfortunately, still failed to impress her parents. She did try to gain their attention but, oddly enough, their attention made her always feel miserable. Whenever she would fall sick her mother would start looking after her so much so that if she asked her for another plate of food she would give it to her without asking questions like "Are you going to finish it?" or "Ali needs more food to fulfil his basic caloric requirements" or that classic "Girls look prettier when they are skinny". But there was something so tangibly fake and miserable in the way the affection and love were showered on her that it made her feel sticky and uncomfortable. Though she couldn't actually understand that why would they start caring about her whenever she got sick because if you think about it their life would have been easier if she just died.
She and her parents had almost never had a fight regarding their attitude towards her. Things were pretty standard in their household in the sense that she didn't talk to her parents much but whenever she did it was within the limits of respect. However, things were a little bit different as they got rich overnight. The talks became more often, less condescending and dismissive. Since they had something, other than other people's riches and success, to discuss. But, right now, those feelings were bubbling out in a way that she felt as if she was under the influence of alcohol.
She tried to think about her emotions towards her parents and all she could remember was how she used to feel unworthy of love. She used to think that she didn't deserve any of their love because she knew that she was not a nice person. She had a very clear acknowledgement of the fact that she was a bitter, angry person that was never, ever happy for anybody and she knew that all of these things made her a bad person. And bad people don't deserve love. But something in her changed when she saw the clock strike 3:33 her feelings did a 180. She could clearly see that the main culprits were her mom and dad. Parents are supposed to love you no matter what crime you commit even if you hate them.
Her thoughts were not in her control. Something else was pushing these thoughts into her mind which was ridiculous, to begin with, how can somebody else control her mind!
All of these findings were synchronously going on in her mind as she was performing different tests. The doctors were very impressed by her physical progress but she herself was in such mental distress that all the physical progress didn't matter any more. The ability to be able to laugh a little didn't matter anymore because there was nothing to laugh about.
Her eyes burned as salty tears brimmed at the corners of her eyes she tried to hold back her tears and swallow them down her throat. She didn't want to embarrass herself in front of these doctors, who she wondered if those were actual doctors or not? Or was this all a prank, a cruel prank?
A familiar feminine voice in her head said, "What if there's a camera over here? Everybody is laughing at your miserable condition."
"How disgusting is this situation?" Said another deep, husky, slow and worried voice.
"Why would anybody prank somebody like this? Somebody who is lying on the hospital bed, unable to breathe because they were attacked by snakes of tabasha." She could now recognize the feminine voice, it was Rani's.
"Wait a minute, I was attacked by snakes of Tabasha. That was what brought me here but I thought..I...I cut my throat with a shard of glass! What is happening to my mind? She rubbed her hands on her temples and started running her fingers through her hair. Her brain started spinning with images of her cutting her throat and being attacked by the snakes of Tabasha.
.One moment she saw herself in her washroom in front of a bathtub full of snakes and the other moment she was staring at herself back into a mirror clutching a shard of the mirror in her hand. Then the scene dematerialized and she saw herself being Squeezed by snakes of Tabasha but the very other moment she found herself eating a shard of glass to feel pain through her numbness.
Both of these scenes were as true to her as the sun that shone above their heads. Both of these things were definitely the reason that she was in the hospital but both of these scenes happened in different place and time. Hundreds of voices started chanting "You're going crazy, Asia! You won't be able to have fun with the money your dad made. Only Ali will be able to experience a luxurious life. You will be sent away to a mental hospital!"
She started screaming to dull out the noises inside her head. She screamed and screamed until her mouth bled. The doctors around her were skipping around injecting drugs down her to put her to sleep but even though the dose was big enough to knock her senses out she was still screaming with blood gurgling down her throat. The doctors tried to calm her down and introduced a few drugs into her system, but nothing helped. The doctors were very alarmed since all the heavy doses didn't seem to move her an inch from her current situation.
Dr Ashfaq, the doctor that was leading Asia's case, sent the paperwork for administration for Risipridonal to Mrs Chohan to consent to.
Risipridonal is an antipsychotic drug that is given in extreme cases of cocaine overdose mainly to reduce vasoconstriction and heart rate. The side effects are numerous and some patients die due to irreversible loss of elasticity in blood vessels which ultimately lead to death.
Mrs Chohan was very worried about Asia and speculated that what if doctors can't save her even after burning all that cash in the name of medical bills.
"I should've taken her to some government hospital. These private doctors are trying to empty our pocket so that they can fill theirs. The whole system is corrupt. Doctors were supposed to be healers now they are plain old businessmen that profit off other peoples' misery." Mrs Chohan muttered to her self. " I have never in my whole life heard of such terrible psychotic episodes. why is this happening to me? All my life I have barely had enough to feed the four of us and now if we somehow have landed some money this curse of ugly diseases has started." Mrs Chohan was absolutely devasted as she signed off yet another fat hospital bill.