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Chapter 20 - Jason's Music Room

Alyssa couldn't deny - Jason was anti-social and perhaps, somewhat scary. And that's how she'd seen him so far. But now, she couldn't help but see a different Jason. A Jason who was pretty fucked up in his head and mannerisms, but so very human, as could be seen from his well-built music room.

Alyssa looked down at her shoes. Longing and shame filled her for having given up her passions so easily. Who the heck was she? Just a normal girl who had dreamt of being something more, but had eventually become a coward.

Ever since she'd been a child, music had been speaking to her. Guiding her. And she'd wanted to be a singer. That had been her day-dreams and night-dreams and future-dreams. But two months ago, everything had been messed up in her life. And she couldn't bring herself to enjoy the pleasures of music and singing. She couldn't do it without feeling guilty that she was indulging in her passions, while they lay dead.

So she had stopped. She had locked up her guitar and music player in the cupboard, deleted all the songs from her phone and laptop, and just ... gave up on the thought of being a singer.

But now, music was hugging her again and she couldn't help but wonder how nice it'd be to fulfil her dreams.

Dreams she'd let go.

Dreams she'd tried to replace.

Dreams that were again facing her.

Alyssa's eyes shot open. Was this the key, then? Was music the key to healing her broken heart? Was music the key to getting over her past?

Alyssa's eyes roved across all the beautiful albums.

Maybe - just maybe - if she embraced what she'd loved her whole life, then maybe just like the Titanic, her past would sink, too, and never come back to haunt her again.

If that was even possible...

At least it might help in the healing.

Alyssa's own thoughts hit her like a high tide.

Maybe she should stop seeing Liarane and Ander as bad memories. She should learn to hold on to their inspiration and be a deserving daughter. She should give them what they'd wanted - her dedication to her life.

At that moment, Jason entered the room. She whirled round in shock, as Jason raised his eyebrows at her. "Did no one ever teach you not to enter private rooms without permission?"

"I thought the most private room a person could have was his own bedroom," Alyssa replied in an equally expressionless voice.

"Do you imply I'm not a person?"

"I imply you're not normal if you call a music room, with no underwear, private."

He gave out an angry growl. Seriously, she couldn't understand how someone who growled so angrily, could sing melodiously. But well... seemed like she'd managed to piss him off.

"Are you saying I'm mental?!" he shouted, looking like he could easily smash her with his anger. To say that Alyssa wasn't even a bit scared, would be a lie. At that moment, she regretted pushing his buttons. Jason was scary when he was angry, and she did not want anything other than to get out of that room.

"Not being normal doesn't mean being mental," she said, wincing a bit at her own tone, while trying to keep the blank expression on her face. She didn't want to show her fright, her vulnerability.

"Get out!" he hissed, pointing towards the open door.

Alyssa couldn't understand why he would suddenly become so angry, but it was clear she'd hit a soft spot with her words. She swiftly exited the room, her fright now diffusing into mild anger. The kind of anger that did not allow her to see anything other than the fact that he'd kicked her out of the room as if she were a mere puppy.

When she was finally out of the room, she whispered to herself, "I don't give a damn whether I hit a soft spot or not."