"I'd like to have a word with you."
"Um, okay," I managed. I didn't meet his eyes, and instead found myself staring at the perfection of toned muscle definition that was his arms. Compared to Royal, I was a toothpick. But it wasn't so much that that scared the crap out of me as that I knew Royal was the one member of the Cullen family who really didn't like me.
Royal considered me for a long moment. At last he said abruptly, "Did Edythe ever tell you the story of how I...came to be what I am now?"
I hesitated. I swallowed to get my voice back. "Not much. Just that...there was something about a girl, and the mafia. And you almost died."
Royal's smile was hard. "That's right. Though that leaves a few gaps."
"Oh." I couldn't think of anything more intelligent to say. My brain was still hung up on the fact that Royal was actually talking to me. And if he was going to talk to me, why this subject in particular. Royal didn't strike me as the kind of person who cared to share his past with anyone.
Almost as though he had read my mind, he suddenly shook his head, then looked me in the eye. "Fact is," he said, "if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't be doing what you're doing."
At my confused expression, he explained, "Giving up your humanity for this life—this life without change. I wouldn't do it. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I will tell you about my life, and why you might just want to rethink this."
Royal's eyes were far away as he gazed out the dark kitchen window.
"It was nineteen thirty-three," he began quietly. "I was eighteen, and I had everything—I was the son of a banker who, though we were technically only middle class, had money enough that we didn't suffer from the Depression like many others. I was never troubled by the poor I saw in the streets—they had brought it upon themselves, so my father often said. So long as my mother and my two sisters were well cared for, as they were, I wasn't troubled unduly. I was the envy of all the other men in town—I was strong as they came, no one dared pick a fight with me. Women wanted me. They positively clamored for my attention."
Royal's smile was self-mocking.
"I was a fool. A peacock, enamored with my own fine looks and strength. I was determined to marry wealth and status—I didn't doubt I possessed all the charm I could ever need to win over any woman I set my eye on. I wanted to be powerful, I wanted to be known. I meant to own property and have a large house cared for by servants. In other words—I was looking to be a king."
His mouth twisted with irony. "It was at that time that I met her—Rowena King. She was the daughter of the man who owned the bank at which my father worked. In a sense, they were about as close to royalty as our city had. She was beautiful—she turned the head of every man who walked by her. From the first moment I laid eyes on her, I knew—she was everything I wanted.
"So I set my sights on Rowena King, and from that day I did everything I could to woo her. My parents were pleased—if I were to marry Rowena King, it would add to their own prominence significantly, and that would put me next in line to take over the bank after her father. For her father's part, he seemed to like me very much—I had the looks, a face that would be more than suitable for the next bank president. I looked like her perfect match, and that was enough for me to be everything he could want for his precious daughter. And for her part, she seemed happy at my attentions, too."
Royal's features held a touch of hard amusement. "I'm sure this must seem like an empty life of vanity and selfish ambition to you."
I didn't think it safe to answer, so I didn't.
Royal gave a growl of a chuckle, though there was no humor in it. "It was certainly that. I'm not proud of the animal I was—but there was more than that I wanted. Things of real value, beyond power and money.
"Among my crowd of usual associates, there was one who was a little different from the others. Vick Thomas, a couple years older than myself, and about as plain a man as there ever was. He was often compared to me in jest—while I was graceful as a lion, he'd always been a little duckfooted, and he was thin and sickly, and his teeth were a bit too large. When he married a poor, even plainer girl from out west, we all laughed uproariously at his expense.
"However, once, almost a year after his marriage, during which time he hadn't crossed my mind once, I happened to see him while I was out in the city. He was with his wife, and she had a baby in her arms.
"The sight was enough to send my thoughts shooting in a new direction, and I realized with some horror that I envied the friend we had all so ridiculed and despised. I still relished all the glory and attention, but I also realized I wanted a family of my own, too. I wanted to have a household to care for, a beautiful wife on my arm, and a child in her arms, a boy who I would show how to ride and be a man. Or perhaps a girl who would be as beautiful as her mother, who I would shelter, and would look to me for safety and protection.
"In Rowena King, I knew I'd have everything I ever wanted—she would be the wife I dreamed of, beautiful, and she would make me a king. And soon I would have my family, too."
Royal was still gazing out the window, at the silver light playing on the tips of the trees. However, a shadow seemed to pass across his face then, and his eyes were hard.
"It was dark out, that night, the lamps already lit. I'd been out finalizing some of the arrangements for our wedding, and didn't realize how long I'd been out. It was chilly for April, and I turned the collar of my coat up against the cold."
Royal was quiet for a long moment then, and I was tense as I waited for him to continue.
Royal's expression was inscrutable as he went on evenly, "As I reached a street barely a few blocks from my own home, that was when I saw her. A woman, out on the street alone, a hood up over her head. It seemed strange to me—it was not safe, a woman out alone at this time of night. I considered offering to escort her home.
"I saw her dodge into an alleyway. I knew it was none of my business, but curiosity got the better of me. I followed her, going to stand just at the alley's mouth. It was dark, and I could see nothing at first. Then I heard her speak, and I immediately knew who she was.
"'Row?' I said, confused, and I stumbled blindly into the alley. I was alarmed to see her out her at this time of night. It would be dangerous enough for any young woman, but a girl so well known as she was would be a particular target.
At last my eyes adjusted to the dark, and I saw at last she wasn't alone. She had half turned in surprise at the sound of my voice. And I saw a man there, in the shadows, his arms wound around her, and her arms about his neck.
"I knew immediately that this man was not from polite society. Or any society I had ever known. The clothing he wore, the style of his hair—they were all alien to me. I stood there for a moment, confused, struck dumb. Had she been taken hostage? But no, I recognized the familiar touch of lovers. Rowena had rarely touched me, never embraced me as a lover. I had believed it was because she was raised in only the politest of society, because she was of the best possible breeding, and would only be mine once we were married.
"Before I could recover myself enough to react, I watched as Rowena's surprised expression relaxed into one of almost amusement. She looked at me with cold, taunting eyes, and said, 'Well, well. If it isn't my dull-witted, fool of a fiancé.'
"'Row—' I began, but suddenly more of them appeared from nowhere. There were two men in front of me, one behind me. All dressed like the man who had his arms around my bride to be.
"Rowena turned in his arms to look at me, her hands pressed to his chest, and she smiled—a smile that made the blood freeze in my veins.
"'Well,' she said. 'We certainly can't have this—we can't have Royal Hale spreading nasty rumors about me to my father, and around town. What would they think?'
"'So what should we do, love?' breathed the man in her ear. I watched as he bent his head and pressed his mouth to her throat.
"'Mmm,' she murmured. 'I suppose you'll have to take care of it...you will, won't you?'
"He let go of her then, and he turned to face me, grinning so wide I could see his gold molars, one on each side of his mouth. He pulled something from his belt, something long and sharp that gleamed in the dull lamplight.
"They were all around me. I raised my eyes to Rowena one last time, as she stood behind her lover and his men. I hoped she would tell them to stop. Beg them to. But as she watched me, her eyes were full of nothing but laughter.
"Her lover advanced on me, raising his weapon—I saw they all had objects of various kinds—and though I was outnumbered, I raised my fists to fight.
"But before any advanced, I felt something hard strike the back of my head. I staggered, then collapsed to the cold road. I felt something wet on the back of my head, and as I turned, I saw blood spreading out on the ground beside me."
Royal's face was cool and even, but I felt sick as I imagined the scene in my mind.
"They took turns beating me," he said evenly. "They cut my skin to ribbons and broke my bones—By the time they were done, I was unrecognizable.
"The pain was unbearable—I couldn't move. I'm sure they believed I was dead. The last thing I remember was the sound of Rowena's voice, as she left with her lover and his men.
'...Really, Father will be disappointed. But I prefer it this way. Even to pretend to love such an empty-headed, arrogant fool of a man was such a burden.'
"I waited there to die. The cold penetrated my bones, sinking deep, even through the pain. I wanted it to end. For it all just to end...
"That was when she found me. I had met Carine before, and her husband and younger sister, as Edythe was pretending to be then. Carine was a nurse at the local hospital, who I had occasionally seen out doing charity work for those sickened by the Depression—the dust was making many ill, and bad nutrition for many had more and more flooding into the hospitals.
"I was annoyed when I saw her there, even as she worked over me, trying to save my life. The few times I'd seen the Cullen family, I hadn't cared for them. I had to admit, the man was even more good-looking than I was, and even more, there was something I didn't like about the way the women carried themselves. Too confident. Carine was so calm, self-assured, as though she believed herself as capable as any real doctor, and the sister went about without seeming to feel the need for an escort.
"Some of what happened then is a blur to me now—Carine carried me away from there, took me somewhere else. By then I was fast fading, darkness taking over my consciousness—then I felt a sharp pain in my hand, and I was on fire, burning...burning...I told her to kill me, and when the two others, Edythe and Earnest, returned, I screamed at them to kill me too. I wished I had brought my revolver so I might do it myself, but I had no control over my limbs anyway.
"Carine apologized softly, many times, and told me it would be over soon.
"I don't know how I bore it—the pain seemed to stretch on an eternity. But toward the end the pain slowly lessened, and I grew stronger, strong enough to hear the others discussing me.
"'This was a mistake, Carine,' I heard Edythe say—I already knew her name by that time. 'Royal Hale?'
I was irritated by the way she said my name. As though it left an unpleasant aftertaste in her mouth.
"'I couldn't simply leave him there to die,' Carine answered quietly. 'It was too terrible—too much of a waste.'
"'Of course you couldn't,' agreed Earnest. 'You did the right thing.'
"'People die all the time,' Edythe answered harshly. 'And Royal Hale is too recognizable. The Kings will search for him—not that anyone will suspect the daughter had anything to do with it. If anyone deserves to disappear..."
"'Please, Edythe,' Carine said gently. 'Let's not have that kind of talk.'
"However, this was one thing in all the unbearable burning agony that pleased me—these people seemed to know what had really happened.
"'What are we going to do with him?' Edythe asked, as though I were a problem that would need to be taken care of.
"'That's up to him, of course,' Carine answered. 'He can stay with us, or he may choose to go his own way. It will be his choice.'
"The pain finally came to an end, and they explained everything, what had happened, what I now was. And as Carine had said, they gave me a choice. I chose to stay—I had nowhere else to go. I knew they were the only family I had."
Royal's cool, even expression was unchanged. However, then the corner of his lip turned up in a grim smile. "I only left Carine and the rest of the family once—briefly. To take care of some unfinished business."
I gazed back at him uncertainly, and his smile widened further. In his hard eyes was a flicker of smugness, almost pleasure.
"This will probably surprise you, but my record's almost as good as Carine's. Better than Earnest, and a hundred times better than Edythe's. I've never tasted a human's blood—but I did kill five humans."
Royal chuckled, low and cold. "I tracked down all the men who had been there that night. I killed them each one by one—slowly. I saved her lover for last. Then, one night when she came to meet him, secretly, as she always did, I was there instead. I dropped the body of her lover at her feet. She didn't laugh then."
We were both silent for a long minute, Royal drifting off into a quiet reverie, me, trying to keep my stomach from twisting as the images played themselves through my head.
However, Royal snapped back to reality. He shook his head. "Sorry," he said gruffly, "Maybe that's a bit too much information."
His eyes returned to me, and his gaze seemed to bore into mine. His eyes suddenly held an intensity beyond anything I'd seen when he told the story of his human life.
"I know I haven't been all that nice to you," he said. "I'm over any of the idiotic reasons I might have had at the start, and I won't ever forget what you did for my sister."
He hesitated. "But you should understand why it gets under my skin. When you already have everything, when you've got everything I'd want if I could have it, and you're just going to throw it away like it's nothing. I'd choose humanity over this immortal, unchanging life if I could—what I was seeking in my human life before was empty, nothing more than an indulgence in vanity. I wish now I might have been born a bit more ordinary, like Vick Thomas, had a normal family, with a normal wife and children. I wasted the gift of human life I had seeking blindly after power and reveling in wealth and looks. If you join us, you will be powerful, you will exist forever, but you will lose everything that matters. The potential for the best things in a human life will be lost to you."
I didn't know what to say, so I didn't answer. I wanted to get along with Royal. He was part of Edythe's family, and I considered him like a brother, if one that intimidated me a bit. But I knew I couldn't promise the thing he wanted to hear.
"That's all," Royal said, unfolding his arms. "I know you're stubborn. As stubborn as Edythe, I think, which is saying something. But you should think about that. Think, before you do something you can't take back."
Royal pushed up from the counter and started to turn away, then paused and looked back. There was a kind of half amused smile on his lips.
"Did Edythe ever tell why it was I didn't like you there at first?"
I shrugged. "She said...it bothered you. Having someone on the outside know."
"Did she?" He chuckled. "That little liar."
I looked away, not sure if I wanted to know the real reason he didn't like me.
"I suppose there's some truth in that," he said. "But the real reason's a bit less flattering."
Again, he laughed, shaking his head. "I was used to women wanting me. But Edythe never showed even the slightest hint of interest. She warmed to me as a sister—eventually, after years of mutual antagonism—but as far as that kind of preference, I could have been a foul, shriveled old man for all she acted. But she was never interested in anyone. Even when we met Tanvir and his brothers at Denali, and Tanvir made advances, she was unmoved. So when she ended up picking you...I admit, it irritated me to no end."
I didn't answer at first. I was afraid if I did, my voice would squeak—thinking I might have competition in the absolute ideal specimen of a man that was Royal was a petrifying thought.
"But what about Eleanor?" I asked at last.
Royal's mouth was still twisted in that same almost self-mocking smile. "It certainly wasn't my finest moment. To have my ego bruised by a girl whose affections I wouldn't have even cared to have anyway. But, I'm over all that now."
As Royal passed the island counter and headed for the other room, again he paused. "You're right," he said suddenly, in a low, rough voice. "I do have Eleanor...That's the one redeeming thing of this life. But we will never have a family, never grow old together. I outlived both my parents, and my sisters. Eleanor and I are frozen as we are now, and have to live in isolation, cut off from the rest of the world. If I'd had a choice for the two of us, I wouldn't have chosen that."
Then Royal was gone, and I realized my milk was still in the microwave. I heated it up again and mixed in the chocolate. As I stood there, quietly sipping my drink, I thought about everything Royal had said. Having a family, growing old. A normal life.
If Edythe were a normal girl, then I'd probably want a normal life, too. Just like that—a steady job so I could take care of her, a nice home to raise our kids.
But Edythe was not a normal girl, and so a normal life held no interest for me. The only way I could become someone who could do things for her, instead of always the other way around, was for me to become like her. Join her world. And so, nothing anyone could say would change my decision.
I went back upstairs. In spite of the hot chocolate, with everything Royal had told me it was a while before I finally drifted off to sleep.
Still, even in unconsciousness my mind continued to work, and I had a dream. I was laying on the cold pavement of an alleyway, beside a tall chain link fence. As I struggled to drag myself forward, inch by inch, blood pooled from a wound in my side, and I left a dark trail in my wake. I felt someone watching me, but I didn't turn to look, as a laughing woman's voice whispered in my ear. "Dead men tell no tales..."
The next morning, I was irritable as I got into the Volvo passenger side, and Archie took off for school. I hadn't slept well, and that only gave me more of an attitude than usual.
"Tonight, we'll drive down to Olympia," Archie said with a grin, chipper as ever. "Or wherever you want. How's that sound?"
"Why don't you forget the sugarcoating, and just gag me and throw me in the basement?" I grumbled.
Archie sighed. "Come on, man, work with me here. She's totally going to take the Porsche back. You're supposed to be having a good time."
I couldn't believe I actually felt slightly bad. "It's not you," I muttered as I climbed out of the car. "See you at lunch."
I trudged off to English. There, my mood didn't improve any, not with Edythe's chair conspicuously empty.
When the bell finally rang, I got up without much enthusiasm. McKayla joined me as I headed out into the light rain.
"Did Edythe go hiking again this weekend?" she asked conversationally.
"Yeah," I said with a heavy sigh. "She doesn't get back until Saturday."
"You have any plans for while she's away?" she asked casually.
"Yeah. Guy stuff, apparently." I scowled in the direction of Archie's last class.
McKayla took in my expression, and she opened her mouth to ask a question.
The sudden growling of an engine in the parking lot cut her short, and everyone on the sidewalk spun to look. They stared in blank astonishment as a black motorcycle screeched to a stop on the edge of the concrete, leaving black skid marks where it had been, engine still snarling like an angry beast.
I stared as I took in the rider on the motorcycle.
Jules waved a hand at me urgently. "Come on!" she shouted over the engine. "Let's go!"
For a second I could only stare, frozen. Then I got it. I knew I had seconds to make a decision—I looked to McKayla.
"Hey, I got really sick and went home, okay?" I said in a rush. I realized I was grinning.
McKayla looked at Jules, then back at me. Her brow furrowed for a second. Then, to my amazement, a conspiratorial smile flickered across her face. "Sure. Sick, right."
"Thanks a million, McKayla, I owe you one!" I sprinted across the pavement, and threw my leg over the back of the seat. I fastened my arms securely around Jules's waist.
A second before we were gone, I glanced back, and saw Archie standing at the edge of the cafeteria, mouth open, his eyes quickly turning to a blazing fury.
I tried to look apologetic, though I'm not sure I managed it. Then we were off, racing across the blacktop so fast my stomach got lost somewhere behind us.
"Hold on," Jules shouted over the deafening roar.
I closed my eyes, the speed making me dizzy, though I reminded myself I'd gone faster than this before. My entire body was tense, every second afraid to see Archie running up behind us in the side mirror, or worse, have Charlie come barreling up in the cruiser to pull us over.
I could tell when we crossed the line. Jules slowed dramatically, and she threw back her head and laughed.
"Did you see that?" she crowed.
"You're awesome!" I shouted back, over the roar of the engine.
Jules grinned broadly. "I remembered what you said about the psychic kid-leech not being able to see what I'm going to do—good thing you didn't think of it or he would have stopped you going to school."
I grinned back. I was glad I hadn't thought of this—I almost couldn't believe it had ended up this good.
"So," she called back at me. "What do you want to do today?"
Good question. I heard myself laugh—a laugh of the taste of freedom. "Anything you want."