The last couple of days have been tense at the apartment. Damon refuses to talk to either of us and he spends more of his time out of the apartment. We know he is going to work every day, but we don't know what he is doing after that to make him come home well after ten at night. It has come to a point where Damon has no idea that I am a mentor and Shane is going to be shadowing me at work.
I don't know what is going on with him. If this is about Brandon and me getting closer in the past few months then we need to talk about it and come to a resolution that the three of us are comfortable with. I'm going to talk to him tonight when he gets home, I just hope that isn't as late as usual, or later.
Walking into the shower, I turn on the Bluetooth speaker and connect my phone. Music blasts through the speakers and I gleefully sing along. No one is home so I don't have to worry about disturbing anyone.
It made me nervous to be by myself at first, but then I realized that I will be okay. Brandon told me to call him if anything and there is really nothing to be worried about. Why would they come for me here when they could get me when I am coming home from work and there is no chance of anyone walking in?
Stripping out of my clothes, I step into the shower and let the water pressure, soothe my tense muscles. It's nice, I feel relaxed and fully at peace. The music is stopping all of my thoughts as I sing along and my body is being cleaned from the day.
Grabbing the shampoo, I close my eyes and rub it into my hair, massaging my scalp as I go. By the time I am done, my hair was molded into a mohawk, and three different types of buns. Rinsing my hair and then drying it of excess water, I squeeze some conditioner into my hand and massage it into my hair. Putting some body wash onto my sponge, the shower smells like coconut. I leisurely wash my body before rinsing the soap off my body and out of my hair.
By the time I step out of the shower, six songs have played and I feel refreshed, rejuvenated even. Wrapping a towel around my body, I walk into Damon's bedroom to let out a scream of fear when I see him sitting on his bed. Instinctively, I pull my towel closer to my body. My hair drips onto my back, where goosebumps rise, and onto the floor.
"Hi. You're home early. Did you have a good day at work?"
He doesn't reply to my answer. I start to panic. What if this isn't Damon. The light is not on, so I just assumed it was Damon, but why isn't he answering me?
"D-Damon?" I stutter his name out and slowly walk backward out of the room. Once I am out of that room, I turn around and run into the bathroom, my heart pounding in my chest. Locking the door, I call Damon and listen for his ringtone. I need to be smart about this. I can handle this.
I open the door a crack and listen for any ringtone or vibration. My heart starts to return to normal when Damon's ringtone starts to play from his bedroom.
But, why would he scare me like that? Why wouldn't he respond to me when I asked him about his day? I guess he's probably mad at me, but that doesn't excuse him from ignoring me and almost scaring me half to death. Didn't he hear the fear in my voice or hear me run back into the bathroom and lock the door? I mean the music was still playing, but it wasn't loud enough for him not to hear me or vice versa.
Taking a second to calm down and muster up the courage to go talk to him again, I disconnect my phone from the speaker and leave the bathroom once again. I take hesitant steps towards the bedroom this time, all feelings of relaxation gone.
Entering the room, I go to the closet and get my clothes before going back to the bathroom to change. Neither of us says anything and Damon is still in the same position as he was before, but this time the light was on and I could see the disheveled hair and shaky hands. I want to know what is wrong, but not while I am naked.
Going into the bedroom for the last time, I sit next to Damon and put my hand over his own. He doesn't react, which I expected, but it hurt that he didn't even notice that I was here.
Moving from my spot on the bed, I kneel in front of him on the floor. He is looking to the side, his eyes glazed and I know that he isn't here with me, not mentally at least.
"Damon? Damon?"
Placing my arms on his biceps, I lightly shake him, not enough to hurt or frighten him, but enough to get him out of his mind and back in this world with me.
His eyes start to focus and his head turns away from the wall. He looks down at me, his face a blank slate. What is going on?
"Hey. Are you okay?" My voice is soft, cautious.
He again does not reply but pulls me from the floor until I am sitting in his lap and envelopes me in his arms. He whispers "I'm sorry" over and over again until it is a mantra.
Slightly pulling my body away from his own, I look at him. What is he apologizing for?
"Damon, please stop. You did nothing wrong. Why are you apologizing?"
I don't know what to do. He is like a child who broke his mother's favorite vase.
"I should have been there." He repeats the same line, but his voice comes out more forcefully. I can hear the regret in his tone.
But I am still confused. Where should he have been? When should he have been there?
"Damon, look at me." taking his face in the palm of my hands, I stare him in the eye. "There is no reason for you to apologize. I'm not even sure what you are apologizing for. But, either way, you have always been there to support and protect me, and I cannot thank you enough. I could never thank you enough."
He pulls his face out of my hands and takes my hands into his own. "I shouldn't have let them take you. I should have tried harder to stop them." I open my mouth to argue, but he nods his head. "Rose, I should have been there that night instead of leaving you in the parking lot. I should have been here for all of your nightmares and exciting events. I should have been a better boyfriend to you. I told you that I loved you and I just let them take you away from me."
It all makes sense now.
"Damon, none of this was your fault. Really. You cannot protect me from everything out there. I am going to get hurt sometimes, but I will be okay again. It may take a while, but I am resilient and I will be okay. And as for everything else, you have helped me so much since I have been back. It is okay that you left sometimes. I am not your child, you do not need to look after me. I am a big girl, I need to learn to take care of myself. There is no reason you need to be beating yourself up over any of this. Damon, I love you. I loved you then and I still love you now. Please don't let what happened to take anything else away from me. Especially not you."
Bringing his hands to my cheeks, he pulls my face closer to his until our lips are merely grazing. The feeling is natural, nostalgic. Adding more force to the kiss, I rake my hands through his hair and pull his face towards me. His hands run down my sides until they are sitting on the small of my back, pushing me farther into his chest. Our lips flow fluidly against each other, devouring each other.
Damon pulls away first. I am disappointed, I didn't want to stop. He smiles at me as I try to pull him back into the kiss.
"I love you. Now, forever, and always. I am yours."
It is at this moment, the moment he confesses his love for me, that I know I want to be with this man for the rest of my life. I am ready to give everything to him; whatever he asks is his.