What if they don't like me? Damon said that we have all met before and his parents loved me, but what if they don't feel the same way? I mean, now I am practically damaged goods. I am getting better, I make progress everyday, but I am not the person I used to be and I don't know if I will ever be that person again.
Despite being afraid that they won't like me, I am excited to see them. I want to get to know them and see what they are like. Damon and Brandon are such kind, caring, and patient people, I want to see who influenced them to be this way. It also doesn't help that I have heard many good things about them from Damon and Brandon and I went to the spa with Carol once as the boys reminded me.
"Rose, are you ready? We should leave now if we want to beat the traffic."
Damon's voice outside the door ends my train of thought. Looking at myself one more time in the mirror, I am happy with the way I look. My black denim jeans look new and my light pink blouse adds a nice contrast.
Opening the door, I smile at Damon. "All set."
The three of us head downstairs after grabbing our phones, keys, and wallet, or purse in my case.
"How far away is it?"
"Only around an hour. It's not so bad which is why I don't mind driving back here to go to work a couple of days a week."
Walking up to the car I willingly take the backseat, despite Damon's claims that I should be sitting next to him in the front. It's not that I don't want to sit next to him, I just feel weird that we will both be sitting there and Brandon will be in the back. I would rather do that, besides now I have more leg room and I can take a short nap if I want.
Brandon connects his phone to the radio as we pull out of the apartment building's parking lot. The volume is deafening as it tries to compete with the blasting heat to be heard. I swear, every two seconds one of the boys raises the volume. It is driving me insane.
The drive is quick, however, and soon we pull into a house that is absolutely stunning. Without even looking inside I know it is a home from the rose bushes out front to the small patches of grass that are slightly browner than others. This home has been through a lot I am sure especially with the two boys sitting in front of me.
When it finally dawns on me that we are here and I am moments away from meeting the boys' parents, my heart starts to race and my hands shake more than normal. I will be fine. I know they are nice people and this is not a first impression. It is a second first impression which is a lot less pressure. This will be fun.
With this thought, we all unload from the car and make our way to the front door. It opens and a beautiful woman stands there, a large, proud, smile on her face. Why is she proud?
My foot barely touches the bottom step before I am tackled by Carol's hug. It isn't the gentle hug I was expected from her dainty frame, but this is even better. I now see where the boys get their bear hugs from.
"Welcome home, dear. I am so excited to see you! We have missed you the last couple of months."
"Mom!"
Looking at the boys, Damon's nostrils are flared and his breathing is shallow.
"I have missed being home. I have to admit I was nervous to see you again, but now I realize how silly I was being."
Looking up, I give Damon a small smile to let him know that it is okay. Carol is right, I haven't been here or anywhere I consider home for more than a couple of months and it is nice to settle back down. I mean, I have been home for two months now, but it hasn't felt like home until I fell asleep in Damon's arms the other night.
"I hope you all had enough sleep last night. We have a long weekend planned with board games and movie nights."
"Mom."
Hearing his tone, Carol looks at him and her face falls before looking at me. Are they talking about me?
Without anyone saying anything further, I interject. She seems so excited about this weekend and I don't want any of her plans to change for me. If I get tired or need a breather I can step out for a few minutes here and there.
"I think that is a great idea. I've been having boring weekends in the apartment where I watch TV all day. This will be a nice change of pace. Thanks, Carol."
As soon as I finished my sentence, Carol's whole demeanor changed again. She is standing taller, and grinning. I swear, if I were to look down at her feet, they would be lightly bouncing on the floor. Does this weekend mean that much to her?
Another set of footsteps are heard down the hallway. That must be Dave, I'm surprised it took him so long to show up. The boys said he was happy that we were all finally coming by. Aside from Damon, Brandon hadn't been here since that last time we all came down together.
"There she is!"
Dave quickly replaces Carol's body and gives me yet another bear hug. Maybe the boys get their hugs from both of their parents?
"Hi."
"It is so good to see you. Did Carol tell you about the weekend we have planned? It is going to be nonstop fun!"
I blink. Once. Twice. Three times. I did not expect that from him. Usually fathers are quiet and brooding, but he seems just as jubilant as Carol. It is so refreshing.
"She just finished telling us, but didn't go into anything specific. It is going to be a great weekend."
Unless you have a nightmare and remind everyone how broken you are.
I'm surprised by my thoughts. Where did that come from? I am happy and no longer worried about what they think of me. They still love me for me and want to spend time with me. Everything is good. Why would this thought come now?
I mindlessly walk away from them. What is going on? I have made strides since I was first found and brought back home. This is not the time for this. Still walking, I attempt to recall what happened moments prior to try and understand what triggered the thought. But I still come up empty. There is nothing there that would have made me think about that.
Maybe that's it. Maybe me not thinking about what happened made me subconsciously think about it. Why can't I just move on? Why am I constantly strapped down and defined by what happened? I just want to live my life. A normal life. Is that so much to ask?
Deciding that I had enough time in my head, I pull myself out of my thoughts and realize that I am outside of the house. How did I get here? Looking around, I find the glass door I walked out of, but instead of heading back inside I stand there. I close my eyes and take deep breaths in. The cool air chills my lungs and burns my nose. It's slightly painful, but the air is so refreshing. The chill makes me feel alive.
Spinning around, small flurries of snow start to fall from the cloudy sky. They land on my face and in my hair, but I pay them no mind. The trees in front of me sway slightly and the ground slowly turns white from the quick pace the flakes are falling at.
"Rose? Rose, what are you doing out here? It's freezing!"
Spinning my body to face the back door, Damon stands there in a short sleeve shirt. His breaths come out in white puffs of snow and goosebumps line his skin, even the spots that his hands are covering.
"Nothing. I just wanted to come outside quickly."
"Is everything okay?"
"Yes."
"Good. We should go back inside, it's cold out here."
Nodding my head, I take one last look at the bare trees and walk back through the door. The heat immediately blasts in my face and a shiver rakes through my body. I didn't realize how cold it was out there.
"For today, we are just going to hang out. Everyone is in the kitchen, mom made lunch."
"Great. I'm starving."
"Aren't we all?"
With light laughter, we walk into the kitchen and eat a meal that left my stomach full and heart warm from the friendly chatter.