Staring at me, I stumble over my words to explain myself. I hadn't meant it the way they took it. "I mean, of course that is a big deal. You broke a law and laundered money for heaven's sake! But...it was for your family. They always come first. It's your job to take care of them as they once took care of you."
Understanding coats their eyes, replacing the shock that was previously there.
"While I definitely agree with you and would do it a million times over, I am still being hunted by the company's lapdogs. You have been seen with me. They will watch you too and find out when to strike. Knowing this, you need to start being careful. Don't go out at night. Tell us where you are going anytime you leave the apartment. The world is a cruel place-"
I zone out. I know first hand how cruel the world is. How can a family go from being a picture perfect family that had Friday game night and Saturday movie night to not being able to stand in the same room with each other? Despite the troubles that came with my family, they were still my parents. Parents who were taken away from me too soon. There was no goodbye or "I love you" exchanged. Nothing. They were there one minute and gone the next, leaving me to fend for myself in what was supposed to be the best time of my life.
"-are you listening? Rose?"
Damon's call snaps me back into reality. "I know how cruel the world can be. I know the monsters aren't under the bed or in the closet, but in the people you love. The people you trust to protect you. Even in your own mind."
I feel vulnerable as they both look at me. There is a mix of sympathy, curiosity, and something indecipherable on each of their faces. For being step brothers, they are strikingly similar, it's scary. Changing the subject before they have the chance to strip me naked with only the look in their eyes, I go back to the previous conversation. "What do I have to do? I may not be their main target, but I refuse to be a sitting duck. I won't let them shoot me and then eat me for dinner."
They laugh at my analogy. I was a sitting duck once and the depression shot me until all I could do was eat and breathe the guilt I felt for my parents death. I didn't want to do anything. Most of the time, I laid in bed, unable to motivate myself to get up, even to eat or shower. The only thing I could do was scribble out all the things the monsters in my head would say.
It was my fault.
I should've made them happier, worked to make us a happy family again.
I never should have let them leave that night.
I shouldn't have hid away at their fighting, blasting my music until all my senses were overtaken by the melodies and harmonies.
I could've fought harder for the family that we used to be. The family that I want to be, instead I let it crumble and turn into the way it is now.
Overtime, the scribbles started to get longer until they turned into a page that wasn't just about what the monsters would say, but how the heroine overcame her thoughts and fought them valiantly with the pen as her sword. From then on, I knew I was meant to be a writer. It was the only thing that could bring me back to life. Unfortunately, you could only tell the same depressing story so many times before it is washed up and overused. I had told my story so many times, each with a different main character and end, that I needed to write something new. Something that would bring a smile to my face and not remind me of what I went through every time I wrote a word or sentence. I wanted- I want a fresh start and I know writing this new book is the way I am going to get it. I just know it.
Joining back into the conversation, Damon has his hand on his chin, rubbing his fingers against the light stubble that coats it. "Tell us everywhere you go and whoever talks to you-"
I cut him off, displeased with the damsel in distress routine, "I am not some damsel. I can take care of myself. Tell me how I can help myself. I need to know what to do in case I am sought out by these men."
Opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water, clearly surprised by my response, Brandon finishes his sentence, "We would like you to tell us where you go and who you are with, but when you are alone, don't go into dark places where people can't easily see you, always aim for between the thighs, and don't be afraid to use a lot of pepper spray and your voice; scream as loud as you can to ward them off."
Feeling more satisfied with that answer, I smile and nod. I still don't fully understand the situation or what I should expect to happen, but I feel more prepared and relieved than I did moments ago. I didn't expect to have this type of plot twist where I may have to fight for my life, but what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Right?
The room is silent after that. No one wants to break the silence between us. I try to decipher what type of silence it is. It's not uncomfortable, but it's not like the one at breakfast; something shifted between us and our dynamic. Deciding to break the growing silencing, I jump up and extend my hand to both of the boys. "Enough of this. This is my favorite place and I'm not letting my day be ruined by bad news from the past. We will figure this out as we get further into the future, but for now I want us to have a great day together before we head back to reality."
Brandon gives me his hand first and, using all my might try to pull him up with no success. Laughing, he puts his hand out for me to grab again and this time, with his help of course, he stands up, ready to tackle the rest of the day with me. Walking the two steps to Damon, I do the same thing and he automatically knew to help me pull him up. Together, he gets up in one go and I Iead them outside, a book in my hand.
Following me onto the deck and then to the weeping willow tree next to the water, they sit on either side of me, Brandon to my left and Damon to my right. Looking out into the water in front of me, the long, thimble branches were swaying with the wind, the leaves loose hanging on by the small stem. The water rippled with the wind, sun glinting off of the surface. Birds and animals walked around us, undisturbed by our presence. The moment felt picture perfect and I knew I would remember it forever. Whatever was said in the house, whatever tension it created was gone, dissipated by the refreshing air. I was thankful. Turning my head to both sides of me, I look at the boys. They are so different, but so similar. They both have the same smile lines and glint in their eyes. The same pout of their lips when they are lost in thought. It's mesmerizing. They look like they belong here, in this everlasting moment in time where everything is calm and as it should be.
Before either of them break out of their thoughts and catch me staring, I pick up my book and flip it to the page I last stopped at. It had been a while since I started reading the novel, but I remember everything that has happened. It's kind of hard not to when I am a helpless romantic reading a romance book with perfectly flawed characters that are meant to be with each other, even if they don't know it yet.
The boys shift on each side of me. Laying their heads down on one of my thighs they look up at me, my attention all theirs for the time beings. I smile down at them and read the story aloud. I break the silence of the nature surrounding me, but the animals pay no mind, each creature in their own little bubble of serenity and security.
I'm in my own little bubble, it just happens to include the two men who I have grown to care very much for and will definitely learn to slay a dragon to rescue them from the tower their rival company has placed them in.