⚠️TW DRUG ABUSE/RAPE⚠️
When I was in college, I found myself in a constant state of nirvana. If I wasn't sleep high, I was actually high or on acid. I think I realized too damn late I had a problem, as many do....I realized I had an issue when It cost me something dear. I had never touched a drop of acid since said incident...I couldn't, the fear of it happening again was too much for me.
It had been a usual night for me. My homework, cheap ramen and my dorm smelling like vinilla candles . I got a text saying there was a party at the frat house Daniel was staying at so naturally, I went. When I arrivaed I noticed it wasn't a party more of a get together amongst the boys and their lovers. I went over and popped a pill in my mouth before I sat on Daniels lap, he held my waist and kissed my cheek. "Be careful baby don't wanna get too high" he had cooed to me. But despite his warning, I ended up doing alot and still made the mistake of going home alone.
I remeber very vividly...a group of guys approached me. Light cat calls at first. Then angry yelling..then drunk harrassment. One of the firmly grabbed my hair and yanked me beside him "wanna ignore me? Slut." He gnarled in my ear, "n-no" I remeber being terrified...I complied with their wishds as they dragged me under the bridge. They each had their turn at me exactly 7 men. After they finished they left me there, broken and naked as I sobbed to myself. I went home and started using more and more acid, I wanted to forget the pain...the fear.
Next thing I knew I woke up in a hospital room. I sat up to find Daniel right next to me, tear stained cheeks "Daniel?" Was all I managed to croak out before he wrapped me in a firm hug "what were you thinking, and why." Those were the two questions, what was I thinking? I was thinking about well....I couldn't even remeber, why? Well "I was raped" I said softly as I sobbed into his chest. His eyes widened as he listened to me relive the horror that I was telling him.
After that, Daniel started keeping an eye on me. He stuck to my hip at parties and he always escorted me home, making sure I made it saftely inside. It was nice feeling safe the way I did, having Dan there made it all abit more bearable. Daniel walked me to lunch with him holding my hand, "no one will hurt you again" was all he'd ever repeat, Wish I could've said he was right.