"We fight life for dominance, why? Because it's something we can't control, we can't predict what will happen next so we want to gain control. That's what everyone wants. Control. Control over you, them self and everything that they want and everything they don't want. That's how humans work we make plans in hopes to control what happens next but in the end we never make it to the end. Just stop, stand still and stop fighting...just listen. Do you hear it? It's life thriving all around you, it's in you, in the wind, even in the person that walks past you. If you still can't hear it then close your eyes and forget everything around you, maybe you can feel it. Life lives in the very ground you stand on. Don't control life flow with it." --Ivy Hester
Deep breath....breathe.
I stand in front of the boarding school before me and I feel my neck itch beneath the tight colored shirt and tie I wear around my neck.
"Ivy!" I turn around to see my mothers irritated face. "Be a dear and help me will you." She says sweetly as a few teachers walk by. I walk over to my mother and she quickly grabs on to my arm in a tight grip.
"Fix yourself, you look a mess. Are you trying to make a bad impression? Your father would be disappointed." She whispers in a disapproving tone.
"Sorry, mother." I say politely and fix my tie and straighten out my skirt.
She pulls out the last suit case from the car and closes it. We walk towards the school entrance and I plaster my fake smile as does my mother as we make our way into the building. Once we make our way in I'm immediately hit with the voices of students conversing with teachers and other students, a few look at me and follow my moments until my mother and I reach the principle who just finished shaking a students hand. He notices us and he smiles reaching out his hand.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Hester," He says and my mother shakes his hand.
"Same to you Mr. Robinson," My mother says and then looks to me expecting me to speak. I look at the principle, whom I've heard much about, and reach my hand out to him.
"Hello, I'm Mrs. Hester's daughter, Ivy, it's a pleasure to meet you." I say and my British accent is unmistakable.
"Oh, I remember. You are from England if I'm not mistaken?" He says and I make sure to keep my posture straight and keep my picture perfect smile.
"Yes, you are correct." I say and my mother nods her head in approval.
"Yes in England she got the perfect scores and was on top in all her classes." My mother says and the principle nods.
"I see, well I hope your good progress continues and I hope you enjoy your stay." He says and my mother smiles. "Well, I'll be on my way, I hope you find your dorm and settle in with a nice roommate." He says and shakes our hands again before he departs and my mother waits till he is out of site before looking at me.
"You did good, I worked hard to get this school to notice you so you best work hard. Understand?" She asks and I nod.
"Yes, mother." I say and grab one of my suit cases. Walking past a few students who are staring at me while whispering. It was nothing I wasn't used to, I was always the perfect girl my bleached blonde hair looked natural as it sat in spirals over my shoulders and my shape was more then perfect.
"She's from England?"
"No wonder she looks so perfect."
"I heard her name is even pretty"
...and just like that it would go around that I was the pretty new girl from England that every girl will want to be friends with, and the girl every boy will want to have. I pretend I don't hear them and follow my mother in silence as we make our way out of the building and down to the girls dorms.
All the way there I hear my name spread to students and I feel everyone's glances. This was my job to be the top, to be perfect and above everyone else. Before I know it my mother and I make in up the stairs and onto the third level of the dorm complex.
"Here we are, room C24." My mother says and then turns to me.
"Make good friends with your roommate, if she is even worth your time, remember don't waist your time with scums." She says and I nod and she opens the door. We walk in and I smell flowers. I walk further into the room and see to perfectly made beds separated by a big window and two desks. I look over at the bed and side of the room already decorated with flowers and pictures and find a girl looking at me. She stands and walks over to us reaching out her hand with a smile.
"Hello, I'm going to be your roommate, my name is Lexi. It's a pleasure to meet you." She says and I look at her attire, she wears her uniform perfectly and along with her creamy skin she had black hair pulled into a ponytail. I could see she was Asian from the way her eyes crinkled as she smiled. I return her smile and shake her hand.
"The pleasure is all mine." I say and I see a shock look cross her face before she bows to my mother who smiles at her politeness.
"Well I need to get going Ivy." My mother says and I walk out of the room with her leaving my suitcases and Lexi behind. Once we have stepped out of the room and waited for a few girls pass by my mother looks at me.
"You better not disappoint me, you understand? Your father and I will be checking in regularly." She says to me her previous smile gone like it was never there. I nod my head.
"Of course mother, I will not let you down." I say and she smiles tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear making my body tense.
"Good, I would hate to be ashamed to call you my daughter, well then I'm off." she says and I swallow hard. Without waiting for me to say my goodbyes she already starts to walk away. I go to turn back into the room but stop when my mothers voice calls me.
"Ivy, remember keep the people you need close and throw away the useless ones you understand me? They will only hold you back." She says and I clutch my fists at my sides.
"I understand." I say and she turns and walks away. Once she has descended down the stairs and disappeared I undo my clutched hands and scratch at my neck that has been itching ever since I got here. I open the door to my room and step back inside taking a deep breath.
***
I walk down the halls of this new school ignoring all the stares I get from the students around. I hold my head high and walk with a purpose but inside I feel suffocated and like I'm crumbling. What was wrong with me? I was fine every other time I've had to switch schools. I was fine being the top, being someone important, but...what was different this time. I have started to crack. I feel their prying eyes look at me trying to see into my soul and I suddenly feel my breath get taken away and one single bead of sweat trickles down my face. From the out side I looked calm and collected but on the inside I was gasping for air and my hands were becoming clammy. I speed up my pace and turn into a different hall to see more stares watch me pass by. I didn't glance at one of them; to busy trying to compose myself to bother listening to their gossip. I turned another corner and found the hall less filled to the brim, I needed to get away from this. I walk faster feeling like any moment I was going to break. I couldn't break here, not in front of their stares, I had to show I was in power, I had to show I wasn't a disappointment. I pull at the tight collar and tie choking my neck. Itch. I need to leave. I turn another corner and pull at my collar. Itch. Fewer eyes look at me and slowly the oxygen returns to my lungs. I finally turn into another hall and notice it's completely empty. I feel a burn on my neck and also notice I had been itching at it again. I swallow and take a deep inhale of air, I could breath again. I lean against the cool wall and look over to see a room not far from where I stand. I move from the wall and find my feet moving with their own mind towards it, I see light streaming from the room the closer I get and when I stand in the door way I see it was a music room and this room was also empty. I feel the tension leave my body as I take a step into the room my eyes land on the piano in the corner that faces a window to the outside. I walk over to it feeling the thrill and breath of it as it touches my finger tips. The piano was the one thing I could depend on to make me disappear from this world and into a new one. I take a seat in front of the keys and I gently place my hands upon them feeling the vibration as I push on a key. I smile at the sweet and welcoming sound. I push another and another after that, playing the keys that slowly drift me into that other world, that world so full of happiness, that world of comfort. I smile as my eyes begin to close and my hands race fast on the keys and the music reaches my ears. For I was playing my favorite, I Love You. I knew nothing of love, but in this song I felt a glimpse of what it was, a heartwarming moment, my hands move with the keys faster and faster and I suddenly feel a gentle breeze from the open window before me and with it it carried my smile and music. My hands slowed as I drew closer to the end and my smile slowly began to disperse and the wild breath taking moment started leaving with it. I reached the end and sighed in content. Silence laced the room once again and I look out the window noticing it really was open. And then I hear it, a voice.
"Charlotte?" I hear it say softly and I feel my body stiffen and I spin around in my seat and set my eyes upon a boy. His school uniform is in a disarrangement and his blue eyes full of what looked to be sadness. His dark hair fell over his face and his posture was a little slump but it fit the boy...in a cool way. Once he saw I wasn't who he had called his eyes hardened and the sad boy from before disappeared and turned into one that was only cold.
"What are you doing here?" He spits and I frown and compose myself trapping all my feeling back inside me.
"I don't suppose I saw a sign that said I couldn't be in here?" I said and he sighs.
"Yeah, well guess what new girl, everyone knows not to, so you can take your leave now." He says rather rudely while mocking my British ascent and I take deep breath before saying something stupid.
"And why aren't people that learn at this school not allowed to go into a room that I'm very sure belongs to the school." I say calmly and I see his body shiver under my stare. He frowns and I smile sweetly. I stand up from the piano seat and brush my skirt out.
"Well then I suddenly remembered I had something to do, I will take my leave now. I will be returning to this room, I was thinking to pick this up as my club class." I say clearly stating that his vicious glare and comments had no affect on me. I walk towards the door and begin to pass him when his voice stops me.
"Wait, when did you learn to play that?" He asks and again I heard it, that sad tone laced his words and I didn't look at him I kept my eyes looking in front of me.
"I don't believe that's any of your business, have a good day..." I say glancing at his name tag. "Nickolas." I let his name roll off my tongue with a soft voice and he looked over at me; our eyes locked together and this time he wasn't scowling, he looked calm. I felt it, I had calmed him and seeing the waves in him calm down made even me feel calm myself. He glanced at my name tag and I saw a ghost of a smile play on his lips.
"Good day to you to..." He looks at me again, "Ivy." the way he said my name sent a wave through me but I ignored it and just smiled. I walk out of the room I feel his gaze follow me as I take my leave and turn into the hall full of buzzing voices. I feel all their eyes land on me but this time I really did walk with my head held high and I felt like I suddenly gained a purpose. I could here their whispers but I didn't care to listen, let them say what they want, let them stare for no of it would affect me...at least not today. I smile as students part and an aura forms around me. I felt calm and collected, my memory flashed to the boy in the music room, the boy whose moods moved just as fast as my fingers moving from one key to the next. There was something about him, it could be the way his clothes seemed to hang from his body nicely, or maybe it was the way his dark hair fell over his eyes, or maybe it was something deeper....
She didn't know what it was but it was the fact that he had cooled her waters as she had done him. She didn't know that the boy by the name Nickolas had felt the same as her, that when he looked into her eyes he felt the vibration between them. They both didn't know that they would cross paths again and that time will enter twine them for a journey they had no plans in having. He watched her pass through the crowed of student who parted way for her and remembered her name. Ivy.