They say I'm an alien and I don't deny. I don't mind observing the world from my own planet as long as nobody invades it and tries to destroy the perfectly aligned peaceful atmosphere I create around me. I'm not too social, but a few people still dared to be my friends which gives me hope and reassures me to keep being myself without trying to fit the mould.
"Dorian? Are you alive?" I shout at the top of my lungs, unable to conceal the surprise as I perk my head up to see the major love of my life to slip away like a ghost through the school hallway.
"Meow, meow." I turn on the siren in the form of a cat meowing as for it's a secret sound we created to call friends up in case of emergency.
But lately, we only use it in the closed buildings because the last time we accidentally gathered a whole group of stray cats who even tried to attack us...which is honestly a rare thing to behold.
"I promise, she will start barking the next week." An unknown individual with an exceptionally sharp brain muses in the volume audible enough for my ears to catch.
"She only communicates with animals. You didn't know? But if animals could understand human language, she would have no friends at all. You were right, she is the perfect match for him."
I freak out at the dialogue growing louder by my side as I mentally draw the route of escape.
What are they talking about? I think to myself, not working up the courage to discuss this with them. I prefer to stay out of small talks and gossips. Especially when it involves... me?
I shake my head slightly.
People have never understood unique individuals.
I wave my arms above my head to signal Dorian but he doesn't notice and thumps his feet upstairs, ducking his head in the phone. I jolt up from my secure place like a lightning, my body contorts on the way because of the slippery floor but I manage to successfully balance onto my feet.
"Phew." I squeak as I flash through the crowd of students who slowly move like the clouds on the lazy sunny day. Some of them giggle under their noses when they encounter me on the horizon and the others just shake their heads, sending me the odd looks of horror.
But I couldn't care less at the moment. I didn't see Dorian in a week!
"Hey!" I yell out after silently crawling behind his back when the distance between us allowed me to slow down the pace.
"Ha!" His hollering voice echoes throughout the hallway as he jumps up in fear before he turns around his axis to face me fluttering my eyelashes innocently. He scrunches up his face, peeking at me with one eye, hinting to me that something is wrong.
I raise my hands to sense the little strands of my hair hovering in the air all around my head as if I have a hundred of antennas to connect with space.
"Are you feeling better now?" I grudgingly fix my messy bun which messed up on the way more than needed as I murmur, genuinely concerned.
Dorian was having a cold all this week, imprisoned in his room alone which made my days here unbearable due to the lack of entertainment this school can offer. I needed him so badly.
"So you are worried about that? I can have a heart attack because of you scaring the hell out of me." He growls, raking his fingers through his light brown hair that instantly acquires a golden glow when the morning sunray, escaping the window lands on his face.
I seal my mouth with both of my hands, struggling to push my laugh down the throat. I didn't expect his reaction to be this amusing.
"Okay, stop that now. We need to have a serious talk." He gazes around us, gently pulling me to the secluded corner with his arm around my shoulder. My heartbeat instantly accelerates at the crazy thought that lights up in my head.
Is this the time X?
I can't believe he is going to finally propose to me. I squeak in excitement inside of my mind, not letting any suspicious emotion to display on my face. However, blushing is extremely hard to control when the person you like and can't stop dreaming about is coming into your vision.
We have been friends for a while now but both of us know it's evolving into something more romantic. We even started building a spiritual connection.
Holy fuck. He might be my soulmate!
In my opinion, the reason why it has been unravelling so slow is that we didn't want to hurry and plus, we were not ready for the official relationship and needed to prepare ourselves.
But I guess now it's the time. Granny, you will be proud of me.
The obtrusive thoughts are occupying my head without my permission when I stare at his handsome face, engulfed in the tremors of expectation.
This is going to be my first boyfriend ever. (Not counting Jeremy from the elementary school). I'm so excited about this.
"Listen," he blurts out, cupping the side of his cheek to massage his temple as the veins on his neck stiff, the blood raging out through him."Could you please stop chasing me already?"
"What do you mean?" I snort a little laugh, still hypnotized by the dreamy haze I'm in. I snap my fingers between our faces, earning a patronizing gaze from his side.
"Do you still have a headache? You okay?" I bring my hand to his forehead to check the temperature.
I can't believe what I hear. I just want to shut my ears with my hands. He is always such a sweet guy. That's the main reason why I enjoy being around him. It might be the impact of the recent illness. He is still raving. Yes, he is.
"I don't want to see you near me anymore. Stop following me as if you are my tail. Understand?" He directs his cool glare at me which makes my stomach go queasy all of a sudden.
"Are you kidding me?"
"No, I'm damn serious right now. Stop annoying me. This is the last warning." His voice drops lower, to the extent it almost sounds like an attacking growl.
"But... but you said you like me for me," I mumble, taking a protecting step back, unsure of how to describe everything I'm feeling right now.
"Yes, I don't really care about how you look, but let's be honest now..." He makes a pause and I can't wait for what he is about to offer me now. "You are so fucking weird. I even start doubting you are a human." He swings his arms toward me as he explains in an extremely emotional manner.
What a life...
He adopted my hope in his hands and then clashed it in his fist like a butterfly he got tired of.
"Don't take it close to heart." He trails off when he sees my wonderful mood crash in pieces, a glimpse of pity flashed through his dark coal eyes but I don't trust his sincerity anymore.
"I see. Um okay." I whisper, feeling my eyes sting as I'm on a verge of tears. That moment I begin stomping away until I let him witness the breaking point of my life, the panic flooding through me as if I just got an electric shock from the object I should not have touched and my heart can stop beating any minute.
I lock myself in the bathroom which is a meter away and rinse my face with the cold water. I immediately pull myself away from the sink when I catch a glimpse of my desperate face in the mirror. I hate this feeling. I don't want to look at myself when I'm in such an awful state. Ugh.
I stop the flow of the water when I hear the enthusiastic chatter mixed with male guffaw on the opposite side of the door. I firmly recognize Dorian's low laugh among the voices and that makes my chest heave with the pain even more.
What did I do to deserve this? Why all of a sudden?