"Fucking leave me alone. I'm not in the mood today." Without any additional trifling, the purple boy (let's call him that now) hollers, throwing a curse message to the world as he wrenches himself from the couch in a fury, trudging his backpack behind him.
Some people near swing their heads aback instinctively because it feels like he has just glided from the brink of his patience and in any second could bang someone in the head with it.
A sudden jolt of panic strikes me when he bolts across the aisle in a strong shriek of outrage, the ground shaking under his feet.
My body shudders at the chill puff of air as it tickles my skin.
Just like a tornado he hurls through the array of open jaws and confused eyes gawking in shock. He disappeared leaving people picking on the pieces of the destroyed atmosphere and continue their daily routine with some extra pepper added to it.
"Wow. Everyone is so grumpy these days. Is there any extraterrestrial object approaching close to the Earth?" Venus passes me an ironic smirk and being not in the mood enough to process her cheesy jokes I just frown, trying to fight back a nauseous army twirling up my stomach in a troop of sore bubbles. I often have to battle this feeling when we get stuck in the spotlights of noisy places, making it difficult for me to put any food down my throat.
That's why I prefer to stay away from the overcrowded school places-the 'red zones' from where all drama roots are growing.
"Better let's tail out of here."
***
"No freaking way. He blocked me everywhere." I clutch my mouth with my hand, holding my phone with another one when I'm about to send Dorian a text after a whole walk of Venus instructing me for a brave move. My mind bleats hazard when it dawns on me that he had actually eliminated me from all of the social media overnight.
"For real?" She pushes her head in my phone to check it herself and groans when she realizes I'm not acting and whines in my ear. "What a jerk."
"So basically I'm out of his league. That's it. The painful truth has been revealed. Everyone runs away from me once they get to know me better." I grumble under the rigid breath I start picking up. That guy's throat-tearing yell still echoes through the depth of my mind even though we are now in our secret lonesome place full of meditative silence. Hopefully, it won't be stuck in my ears just like a buzz of an annoying song sometimes does. But in his case, it's more like a hard rock. Very hard rock. Almost demonic.
"Listen! It's not you out of his league. It's he out of your league. He will regret once we find you a decent boyfriend." Venus straightens herself and flips her head up as she wiggles my assumptions away with her acrylic nail in a proud girly manner.
"Decent boyfriends are at the edge of distinction. There are only snobs everywhere. I don't want to search for any boyfriend. I'm done. Devastated. Broken. Crashed!" I huff in anguish, giving up on this stupid idea to get in a relationship. Even math is easier for me to understand. You simply need to learn formulas and boom. But with love... it's so convoluted. There is no formula that works the same for everyone. No instruction along with the person you get. There is no doubt it's created by some higher level of consciousness that our minds are not able to fully comprehend.
I prop my palms on the window ledge, sending my gloomy gaze far away, hoping to get lost somewhere in the beauty of the marvellous town landscape.
Perhaps it's just a desire to try something new and dating is indeed overrated. But still, I don't know if there is any girl who would not want to have someone by her side, hold hands, receive sweet compliments and cuddle on the rainy days after watching UFO space documentaries after colliding in a bloody battle for the last slice of pizza.
Well, maybe not exactly that but anyway.
"Why you are not eating? It is so calm here." Venus manages to mumble between crunching already the third snack while I could not even gulp down a bite.
"I'm not hungry." I retort.
"Try it. It's so delicious." She shoves me the blueberry pie in my face forcefully, her face melting in satisfaction.
"No thanks. I can't eat when I'm stressed."
"You are so weird. Usually, people consume tons of food when they are worried, me including. But you... you are going to transform into a green zombie soon. Your skin will wither and your brain will stop functioning properly. It's already glitching from times to times. What do you think?" She shrugs "Finding one might get more difficult then."
"Ugh. Let it be." I blurt out carelessly.
"Chin up. Let's not jump to conclusions so fast. He just might have had a really bad mood and be irritated that day. Maybe he is going through something terrible. We can't judge by only taking your side into consideration."
"Yeah, of course. Let's assume he was on a period. But you know, thanks. That gave me some hope." I snort and return to staring in the window.
"You must try to talk to him later on again."
"What? How can I try talking to him when he ordered me to not even come close to him anymore? Directly. In my face!" I protest upon such a hilarious declare from her side, reminiscing the embarrassment I had to go through yesterday.
"You don't have to do it now. Let him cool down and meanwhile collect some courage for yourself too. You don't know what is going on in his head. Sometimes words are just the shield we protect our hearts with in order to not get hurt... " She trails on in a silenced tone "Or exposed."
I narrow my eyes in deep blank contemplation.
"You have no other option than to figure out what is going on for real. You were good friends and friends don't behave like douchebags without a solid reason."
"Okay. I'll try to." I force an agreement, leaving this issue for the upcoming future.
'Try' doesn't mean I have to push myself backward for it so...
"But, Mel, are you really having feelings for him?" She inquires, in almost a pleading voice.
What do you mean now? Who except you, a guru in the amour department, could know better?
"I-i don't know." My answer rolls out in a stammer. "I think he is cool but, but how can I be sure what being in love really means when I've never experienced this. I don't know what 'having feeling' really feels like, you know?"
"Then it's not him." She shakes her head. "Don't worry, you will know for sure when this happens. There will be no doubt. But that's good for you, Melanie. Dorian is not a certified boyfriend material and definitely not a match for you. We need to find a plan B."
"Hold on. I didn't mean I don't like Dorian. I don't need any plan..."
"Shut up." She presses a hand against my mouth, tired of hearing my rants. "I don't like seeing this dying swan face. We are gonna find you the hottest boyfriend ever and everyone will drop their jaws in jealousy! I promise. And it's not gonna be an ordinary TikTok/fanfic smashy flashy kind of thing. We will get you one of a kind! A successful man with an alpha label stuck right on his forehead. I'll personally assist you in that matter." She takes the liberty to lecture me until her phone dingles and she shifts her focus toward it; a blush crawls up her cheeks and a foolish smile smears through her round-apple face in the synchrony to her nails dabbing the phone screen.
Why is she behaving so weird?
Protecting Dorian, pulling me away from him with the constant 'find a hot boyfriend' affirmations and then suddenly fake-forcing me to talk to him knowing I would never dare anyway. Especially after him lashing out on me and then blocking on all social media for some unknown reason that even Pharaon ancestors would not predict. I swiftly run through my memory and can't really remember a single time Venus openly shipping us.
My face hardens.
Whether I have my trust issues going through the roof recently or
Could it be...
You have feelings for him too, Venus?