That night, Lilly cried. She cried and cried until her throat was sore and her eyes were heavy. She felt hopeless as she held in yells of desperation. She was crying and gasping so hard that her chest ached while she panted for air. Lilly's face was bright red as tears continued their way down her cheeks. She clutched at her black hair with the feeling of her cries falling on deaf ears. She thought of Mark, she thought of her parents, she thought of the bombs. She thought of everything she lost.
Everyone was asleep in the room they all arrived in three hours ago, so no one would hear her. Lilly sat in the stairwell in front of a floor length window, where she gazed out at the soldiers every so often. She did that between cries and tears. They had bright lights that they shone down the streets, but not at the buildings, luckily. Lilly had zipped up her grey hoodie and pulled the hood up, as if that could somehow make her feel more protected. A thought of Mark came back up in her head and she broke into another sob fit.
She flinched when she felt something touch her shoulder. She ripped her hood down with her eyes wide and heart racing. Her face relaxed, then fell into embarrassment when she saw Nathan. He sent her an apologetic look and slowly sat beside her, his shoulder touching hers. She tried to calm her cries as she looked out the window to her right, only letting silent tears fall from her eyes. After a couple minutes, Lilly calmed down and only let tears fall once or twice more.
"I... um," Nathan started, then cleared his throat. His voice was coarse from not talking for a while. "I cry too."
Lilly snuck a glance at him, but he was looking out the window at the bright, white lights. She quickly looked away, suddenly finding her nails to be interesting.
"Sometimes it gets real bad where, like, I can't stop for hours," Nathan began explaining in a faint voice. He played with the end of one of his braids while looking out the window. They sat for a few minutes in silence, not awkward at all, just silent. "I know that whenever I cry, I feel better when someone's with me. Doesn't matter if they're listening or not, just having someone there feels... It's better than being alone."
Lilly sniffled. She felt a new ache tug her heart at the words Nathan spoke to her. It helped that she wasn't physically alone right now, because she didn't know if she could've cried any longer without getting Mark. She looked at Nathan again, who looked back at her. She sent him a small smile and he gave one right back, his cheek tugging up with a subtle dimple.
"Thank you," Lilly rasped. Nathan nodded his head at her and looked behind her through the window. This made Lilly look back out the window as well. She was glad he didn't focus too much attention at her, because she knew she wasn't looking too hot. After sitting in silence for a while, Lilly felt her head become heavy. She leaned against the window to her right and was lulled by the sound of Nathan's even breathing. She didn't remember falling asleep.
Lilly woke with a start and frantically studied her surroundings. A window to her right, a stairwell to her left, an ache in her neck, her shoulder being weighed down by Nathan's head. The window let in bright daylight, meaning she had fallen asleep; likewise, so had Nathan, who now stirred beside her.
He lifted his head and widened his eyes fast, jumping a bit as well. It was almost normal to awake with a start ever since the bombs dropped. Lilly's eyes felt heavy, and her head pounded. The two shared a look with understanding masked underneath. They both got up and began their way back to the room of, now thirteen, people.
"I think that's a dumbass idea," Someone was speaking loudly from inside the room. Nathan and Lilly looked at each other before busting in the room. No one paid them any attention, which Lilly was relieved for because she knew she looked terrible. The someone that spoke loudly was Tristan. "You wanna walk right into the arms of people holding massive weapons, go ahead. But it's a dumbass idea."
The girl on the receiving end of his wrath was none other than Cathryn and a guy Lilly did not like.
"That's what we did with you guys!" Cathryn exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger in Tristan and Brynn's direction. Cathryn hoisted her backpack over her shoulder and huffed.
"Yea! We barely had a choice thanks to that fuc..." The guy who stood beside Cathryn faded his words at the sight of Lilly. His name was Micheal and he was in Lilly's history class. He tended to raise his hand with the wrong answer in lecture, and he also tended to make sexist and racist remarks to his friends out loud.
"The difference is we don't have fucking tanks." Tristan scoffed and held a sneer on his face.
Mark snapped out of his now usual daze with a step towards Micheal, then glared down his nose at him.
"Then—" And Mark told Micheal to screw off in the unkindest way he could with words. Micheal nodded, his jaw clenching and unclenching. His fists did the same thing. Cathryn cast a worried glance between Micheal and Lilly before grabbing Micheal's arm to pull him away.
"Stop it, let's just go," She quietly coaxed him, but his glare stayed on Mark. Brynn saw it before anyone else and grabbed Micheal's wrist in the air before he could throw the punch at Mark. After grabbing his wrist, Brynn shoved his chest with her other hand and watched him fall against the wall. The push wasn't so hard that he hurt anything, just enough that he was far away from Mark.
"Go then," Brynn challenged, standing in front of Mark. She waited a couple seconds to see his reaction. When he didn't answer, she elaborated, "Get the fuck out!"
Her gaze never waivered as she watched Cathryn and Micheal saunter out, quite quickly. Brynn relaxed and turned to see if Mark was okay, who nodded uneasily. Tristan relaxed his stance as well, turning to the window like yesterday to examine the soldiers. Alex holds a large bag of non-perishable food near the door, seeming to have entered before the fight. Mackenzie had woken up prior to the fight and was now wide awake. Same with Andrew and Joseph, who stood close together and next to Nadeen. Nadeen looks to her brother, then settles her eyes on Lilly who stood beside him. Lilly felt that everyone could see she was crying last night.
"And then, there were eleven," Tristan humorlessly mentioned from his spot by the window. Brynn gave him a light smack on the shoulder and shook her head. Nathan had joined his sister, who gave him a smile. Mark gazed over to Lilly and she took that as a queue to join him. The sound of the door opening and closing again got everyone's attention.
The group shared looks before Alex realized,
"Someone else left."
"It was Emma," Andrew piped up from his spot next to Joseph. Joseph unconsciously pushed Andrew's black hair from his face; although Andrew blushed, he continued, "she grabbed her stuff while everyone was fighting."
"Didn't like her much anyways," Joseph whispered to himself, though everyone could hear him.
"I stand corrected. Then there were ten," Tristan reiterates, narrowing his eye at the scope. "I guess we'll see how what happens now..." His sentence hung in the air. The group gathered around the window and peeped as much as they could through the curtains. Lilly stayed behind, rubbing her heavy eyes. Mark put a hand on her back, which shocked her. It was his first sign of real communication with her in a few days. While everyone was busy trying to see outside, Lilly threw her arms around Mark and buried her head in his shoulder. He reciprocated by wrapping his arms around her as well. They stood like that for a few seconds then separated at the sound of scuffling feet.
"What's happening?" Alex questioned, trying to get a view out the window.
"I can't see."
"Me neither."
"Relax," Tristan exasperated while reaching up a hand to scratch his beard, "I'll explain. The red-head and that guy are walking down the middle of the street. Still going... Still going... They're real close to..."
They heard megaphones shouting from the apartment building they stood in, but they couldn't decipher the words. The megaphone continued to shout. Lilly could see figures from far away through the window as she stood on her tip-toes. They both stood still in the middle of the street.
"They have their hands u..." Tristan spoke out loud, but there was an edge to his voice. Lilly could see the figures, and she also saw one moving closer to the scene. She saw what happened next, too. "Oh... Don't!—" Tristan flinched away from the scope on his sniper just as a loud bang echoed through the streets. Everyone backed away from the window in unison. Andrew stumbled on his own feet and fell on his bottom. Lilly's ears rang for a second, though she couldn't decide if it was from the gunshot or shock from seeing the figure fall onto the pavement. The room was quiet while the group looked at each other. Brynn put a hand on her hip and forehead, then pushed her stray hairs away from her face. Her brother slowly lowered the gun before speaking rather quietly and monotone. "It was the guy."
Lilly replayed the event again in her head, and again, and again. Brynn saw her swaying a bit and stared at Lilly before saying,
"Don't think about it now if it's too much. You'll have plenty of time to later when this is all over," Brynn, for the first time, showed she had could relate to people and put her hand on Lilly's shoulder. Lilly snapped out of her trance, registering what she said.
"We should move. They grabbed the red-head. They'll probably question her, and we can't be here when she tells them where she was," Tristan concluded, tossing the gun to Brynn suddenly. He grabbed a duffel bag from the floor and started for the door. Lilly registered this eventually as well and grabbed her bag. The rest did the same, then followed Tristan out of the door to somewhere new. Lilly recalled the scene, the body dropping, and dropping, and dropping. Lilly was the last one out the door, but she didn't know if she should close it or not. After a minute, a hand came to rest over the handle door and pulled it shut. Lilly looked up to meet light green eyes: it was Brynn. She had some mascara smeared beneath her eyes, and her hair was messy.
Lilly replayed the scene in her mind again, and again.
"I know," Brynn murmured, searching Lilly's face. They continued to follow the group. Brynn stayed behind Lilly and continued to guide her with a hand on her shoulder when she needed it.