"I'm going to marry you" from the deepest places in my heart I said.
Her smile had stopped, and small tears began to show up in her eyes.
I reached the top level of confusion and seriously didn't know what to do.
Suddenly, she stood up and ran away and Tina followed her.
I stared for a few seconds, I went to look for them and I found that they already exit the house.
I walked to the kitchen "mom! Where did Tina and Sara go?"
"They went to the store and they will return, but why are you asking sweetheart?"
"Nothing, I'm just wondering."
And as all of us know; all moms have the sixth sense when it came to their kids.
"You can tell me everything you know that, especially if you have hiding feelings." She dropped the knife and came to me.
"I really don't know what wrong, it just I can't know my feelings anymore," I said while sitting on the chair.
My mom noticed that I got lost because not knowing your feeling is a psyche issue that causes a lot of damages to the person's self.
My mom began acting like…my mom; a simple and spontaneous great woman "I want to give you a great speech like in the movies and cheer you up, but I don't know how to, all that I can say is that; do not make things complicated, life is simple, feelings are simple: sadness, happiness, love, hatred… you just need act as you feel and say what you feel… without hurting people of course."
I felt like a big rock was moved from my back "That's was a great speech like in the movies mom." While smiling I said.
She laughed and hugged me "Oh! Sweetheart, you embarrassed me"
After I had a wonderful conversation with my mother, it was my turn to keep an eye on my little brother who was playing in the backyard.
-My brother has a special program every day, in order to get better, and we always switch turns between me, my parents, and now Tina; to watch him carefully.-
At 20:00.pm I was at that situation; in the backyard which was covered with a green herb, in the center there was a small fountain, and full of children's safe games that made for Yoshiro, and a comfortable rocking chair.
Suddenly, I heard the sound of the door get opened, and when I looked I found Tina standing, she walked at me and sat on the floor next to me without talking.
It passed more than 5 minutes and both of us watching Yoshiro playing without any word.
"I…" she said in a deep voice "…love hamburger"
Expecting that she was going to say something deep about life and all that shit, but saying that she loves burgers made us not able to hold ourselves from laughing.
She looked at me, I looked at her, and we gazed at each other and had a moment, though her face which was very weird actually; because sometimes looked like the beast and sometimes not.
- Maybe the problem was me.-
-That why I said I couldn't understand my feelings because of the two girls that god made me meet them.-
She interrupted the moment and descended her head down "do you love Sara?"
It made me a little surprised especially when she used the word LOVE "why did you say, love?"
"Marrying a woman that means you love her," she said in a sad accent.
"I remembered! Why Sara ran aw…"
She interrupted me while looking at me with those innocent eyes "you didn't answer the question."
"Oh, I don't really know…" and then I remembered my mom advice and decided to not complex things "I will tell you the truth, I'm so confused because I like Sara so much but you are like…a barrier in my way"
Her eyes had opened and did a sad face; she totally broke my heart.
"...you are like a barrier in my way because I like you too" I continued.
I remembered my mom's advice again and decided to say all of the things in my heart "but her words before, about money and poor people created a place for her deep in my heart."
Her eyebrow rose and her eyes opened wide and made a new emoji I never saw before.
She started crying with small tears on her pretty face, –I didn't believe I would say that, however; she looked so pretty at that moment, even the word pretty is not sufficient to describe her.-
She jumped at me and hugged me a long hug, even my shirt became wet because of her tears, and it was fabulous.
After the hug, she entered the house with no even single word.
"I…" I said with wonder on my face trying to do something but I didn't know what it was.
The problem that her presence made me forget about the main reason for me being in the backyard, which was watching my brother, as she entered the house I stood up to follow her until I heard a cough and when I turned around I saw my brother choking with something in his throat.
I ran to him as fast as I could and hold him from behind in his stomach and began squeezing him, all of the family members with Sara and Tina came quickly to see me like that, Tina and aunty began screaming.
All of the hearts nearly stopped, the time was ticking, in that moment I closed my eyes, and all of my thought headed to God.
I began talking to my God in myself "please, please, My God, just this time, save my brother, I'm your slave, please, For Mom and Dad!"
Suddenly, a small toy jumped out of my brother's throat and he began coughing a lot, and finally breathed.
I couldn't stay standing, because of the Adrenalin in my veins, and all of them went to check on Yoshiro, except Sara who came to check on me.
I closed my eyes again and thanked my God for a long time.
- It was so relieving, as knowing that you are not alone in this miserable life, knowing that there is a higher power you resort to When the world narrows you down and solutions end.-