From the first warm touch of the sun to the cold breeze of the moon, for the last three days I have sat and patiently waited for limb torn undead zombies to put me on the menu. I have waited for my suicide mission to be marked complete.
The scenery was only what I could assume as I only had my imagination. The wind picked up from the landscape around me, it brushed an eerie squeak in metal that slowly whooshed back and forth and prompt the sound of the wind to push nature that would bounce off plastic material, which echoed like brittle metal come apart when contact was met. I had believed I was in the middle of a park listening to the song of the wind play on the playground that children left unattended.
There was a growl coming from my stomach that would throw the song off beat. My own hunger and thirst have gotten to unbearable levels.
The ache in my body prompt me to beg the gods for a sweet release on a meaningless life.
I would try to get the attention of one of the undead zombies moaning nearby, but my mouth is so dry that I fail to utter a single shriek.
"I'll collapse here and now" I thought as my lips tore from each other and sprint pain up towards my worn-out eyes.
I was in pain living a moment more. My body had begun to deteriorate and blister. The bones that hinged off my shoulders creaked from the breeze as my hair stood solid from the dust blowing back and forth.
"This is my final chapter" I wanted to moan out. I wanted to scream out of desperation. Those words were put on hold as if my life was waiting for the green light to continue.
It seemed like hell on earth was welcoming me as I was struggling to utter a single word, the stoplight on my life was still red. The welcoming party was only watching as I sit still in traffic. The green light appeared and to begin this new despairing scene the breeze picked up and knocked me over.
The thought up scenery that I enjoyed for three days back and forth have shut into complete disarray as my heart echoed slow and louder than the wind can pick up the imaginary park.
Nothing was feeling sorry for me. "I'll die here and be reborn here" I thought as I let out a wheezing grasp for air.
"Heh- "
My cry was cut short as the sound of what seemed like thin metal links broke. From the same direction, I heard footsteps stutter every other step forward. It sounded like the drums getting closer and closer.
*Thump…Scatter… Thump…
The ground on my cheek left heavy and deep ringing impressions of worn-out stepping.
I was left patiently waiting for something to happen to me, just like I gave up in the middle of the hard asphalt I am now waiting for the world to take me to the end credits of my life.
I was ready for the release of life. When the undead claimed this world, I claimed the identity of a frail blind woman. There was not much I had left because of my weakness. I was ready to feel my only indication that I still live fade away, I was ready to feel my heart beat one last time before I turned undead.
I had determined in a world surrounded by undead, blind people were not meant to live too long. They cannot fight alone, and because of this they are exploited by others. In this world the strong survive and the weak become the next pair of hungry teeth. I'm the weakest person still alive. The only blind person no one can protect. I am alone in this world. The same world that I once loved is now painful to live a single minute more.
"I can finally let go of this pointless life" I had thought as my hunger and thirst get the best of my conscience. The loud thumping of footsteps faded into silence as my already darkened sight becomes absolutely empty.
I can't recall too vividly the last moment, but just as my hearing started to fade I heard someone yell, "I'm here for you!"
These words brought me the single shred of happiness I experienced in such a long time.
The pain of my dried-out lips radiating upwards towards my eyes disappeared as I lost consciousness.
I wanted to hear this. When I had my sight before the undead marched around, I walked around these streets looking for people to call them family. I was as close as you can be to a zombie without having to die. There was no body there for me to appreciate my hard work, no warm hug to welcome me back home.
If these are the last words I hear before I lose myself to the hunger these zombies find themselves in… then so be it. I had only wished to find myself in need for once.
What had taken me back was that there was a response coming from the distance, the voice carried over to my ears with a ring and echo "I need you to live! Please!" The voice muffled.
The voice brought new feelings. I felt as if it was impossible for me to feel this warm feeling and began to wonder "is this the way to heaven"?
"Is this happiness that I start to feel welcoming me to another world"?
My heart felt like it was digging itself out of its own grave and had just reached the surface, as if the air outside the hole of hell is a refreshing vacation.
"I'm going to find myself home no matter where I go" I thought as I pictured my grave and the silence my death brought.
My heart and mind have met in the silence of this unconscious state. The death of an old me and the birth of a growing person.
The darkness of my sad scenario had begun to clear up. I had wondered if I was still alive, but as my face brushed the wind and my eyes grew weight, I knew this was the beginning of my struggle. The moment I had to grow up and act as if those emotions I had felt before were only a nightmare. The despair I let eat me up can't do so before I get the chance to smile for my own sake.