That night, as I lay in Christian's arms, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop seeing Reese being carried in a bloody mess. In my mind, I saw Christian also stretched out, unresponsive. I saw the face of every person who I loved down to Tony. There had to be an alternate ending but, I failed to see it. There would be more bloodshed. We had real, out for blood enemies. Christian's cousin may be cool if we told him we needed a little more time on the return, but how the hell were we going to make twelve hundred dollars?
This shit made me want to hit downtown federal. Even if we got the twelve hundred there, this Hawthorne guy. It was him or me with our beef. There was no talking to that guy. His hatred for me and my father was at boiling point. Especially if he felt the need to hire a hitman to kill me. He probably has pictures of me he used for target practice. That anger had been left to fester into a thirst for my blood. The worst part was I knew where he was coming from. I knew what it was like to feel like the person responsible for my misery was living their best life. If someone shot my dad, I would surely be in their bushes. With a two-by-four or a bat. Although I don't think I would go after their fucking kids. I knew any of the guys would gladly take care of him, but I kind of felt it was my responsibility. He is the enemy I didn't know I had.
Then there was Donovan. I really didn't want to see a gang of Buckout boyz at my door. That's the last thing I wanted. Something in me urged me to just let him go. I wanted to make his ass promise to stay the fuck away from the Lou.
All of this was new to me and I wanted nothing more than to turnback time and make better decisions. I wished my mom's boyfriend was out of jail. He was an OG and he would know what to do. When he was free, he was all about that life. He had a whole organization that was still busting moves to this day. The leader of their organization is a guy named Big D. Apparently, he ran the projects downtown. Real big shot, a true untouchable. He had beaten every case put against him and never stopped running the business. He sold brown and had made a career out of it. If I could get ahold of him, he might help. Big D and my mom's old dude go back to diapers.
Then, of course, there was Ace, the fucking throne in my side. His bitch ass had no reason to rob us. I mean, that was cold blooded. But he was going to get what was coming to him. He was Reese's man, so I guessed he was going to tell us what we needed to know about that one. Speaking of Reese, I hoped he was okay. He had taken some painkillers and went home. I loved him like I loved all my people. I needed him to be okay.
*****
I woke up again to Christian being gone. I rolled over to his spot, and it was still warm. It smelled like the hair grease that I used when I braided his hair. It made me feel all warm and tingling on the inside part. Man, I loved dude. I saw my future in him. If I survived to get old, it would be with him. I jumped out of bed and took a shower. It was early and my mom was making breakfast. She looked up as I entered the kitchen and smiled, and I smiled back. She was on the phone and I knew she was talking to Micky.
"Mom, can I talk to Micky?" I asked, stealing some bacon. She swatted my hand and asked why.
"I just want to ask him if he knows someone." I said, lying. Many people knew him and we were always running into people who wanted us to know that they knew him. So I figured she would buy it. I hated lying to my mom's. She was my rock, but I knew she wouldn't agree with what I was doing. If she knew, she would worry and also probably kick my ass. So I would not tell her and hopefully Mickey didn't ask too many questions.
She shook her head and handed me the phone. I heard her protest as I walked off, but I just kept going as far away from her as I could.
"Hey Dirty," I said, it was a nickname we had both come to love.
"What up Anna," he said. "How you been?" Micky had a cool ass vibe to him. He always had. From the time I met him, he always wore silk suits. When he wasn't in a suit, he was still always fresh to death. I don't think he owned a pair of tennis shoes. All he wore were Stacy Adams, even with jeans.
"I been great," I said, lying again. "Couldn't be better."
"Is that right?" He said with a raspy laugh. "Glad to hear it. So what do you need, baby girl? I got ten minutes left on this call. You haven't asked to talk to me in a while, so spill."
"I need to contact Big D," I blurted.
There was this pregnant pause, and I thought maybe the call was dropped, but then he responded. "Anna, what kind of trouble are you in?" he asked quietly.
"I'm not in any trouble, Dirty. I'm asking for a friend." I said, feeling bad. I was swimming in the lies now.
"Who?" he asked, his voice gruff.
"Montel," I lied again, dragging Montel in with me. "He wanted to ask some questions about the Jeff Van Der Lou says he's looking for someone." The JVL was a project on the upper north downtown area of Saint Louis. It was a horrible run down place. It was a trap and Big D ran it, too.
"You got a pen?" He asked.
"I do now," I said, grabbing one as I jotted down the number for Big D.
"Tell him I sent you and all should be well," He said. "he has resources Anna, he can help with just about any situation. But don't waste his time and tell him you are my step daughter. I'll talk to him too and put a bug in his ear."
"Awesome thanks Mickey." I said, going back towards the kitchen where mom waited with her hands on her hips.
"And Anna, if ever you fall in a tough spot, he's someone you can turn to. I don't know what you are into, but I know you are not looking into this for your Montel. Be safe and be smart." Those were his last words. He always had good ones. Being a Muslim, he always spoke very well.
I took the phone back to mom's then and hurried out the door on my way to Reese's house. I think Christian was already there. I had the contact info for Big D, now to deal with the Assassin chick.