I shot up in my bed. My heart sped in a rapid rhythm in my chest. The sweat on my face mixed with tears as a scream left my lips even as I stared into the darkness. I knew this room, it was mine. It was a safe place. Still, I grabbed my leg, the pain from a Charlie horse in my shin hurting like hell. Deftly I felt for a bullet wound I knew wouldn't be there. I knew it wouldn't be there because this was the third night I had this dream. The third night, I had woken up with this damn cramp in the same spot I had been shot. Only it hadn't been me to get shot. It had been Christian.
It had been like I was looking through his eyes. He had been walking down the street, minding his own damn business. He had his headphones in and I could hear the music playing Eightball and MJG, Friend or Foe. He was bobbing his head, and I felt every movement. Christian had walked past a porch with about five guys on it, and he had paid them no mind. No sooner than he had passed them they had gotten up and followed him. He hadn't heard their footsteps, but I did. They were hawking him.
I heard the shots first, a moment before Christian took off running. I tried to see the street signs we were passing, but they were all a blur. Nothing looked familiar. I felt a bullet hit his chucks only to be followed by one that pierced his leg. When he fell, I woke up. But the pain I felt in the dream followed me, every time.
I convinced myself on the first day that it was nothing. But the second day I couldn't get it out of my head. Christian had heard my scream both those nights and comforted me, telling me he would be fine. My mom had said it rarely was the person you dream about. She said it's usually someone just as close. I had too many guys that I was close to and the thought of losing one of them haunted me after the second dream.
This one had been clearer than the rest. The pain was worse, and it had been more intense. My emotions bordered on breaking. These dreams felt like a warning. I knew I would lose someone close to me soon, and it sucked. I sat there rocking back and forwards, waiting for the pain to end, until Christian walked in and sat beside me on the bed. I didn't even look at him. If I did, it would just bring with it another wave of tears.
"Same dream?" he asked after a moment of silence.
I nodded my head, moving closer to him. We had not had a lot of alone time lately with everything going on. I missed his warmth. I missed just having fun. We had way too many problems to be teenagers.
"These fucking dreams scare the crap of me. I don't know what to do." I said, still massaging the painful spot on my leg. The pain was down to a dull throbbing, but it lingered. I sighed as Christian's hands replaced mine on my shin.
"What you need to do is relax," he said and pushed me gently back onto my pillow. "You worry too much. You're gone get wrinkles. I'm a still love you, but you gone get wrinkles."
I laughed. Only he could make me laugh when I was feeling such doom in the pit of my stomach. "What am I supposed to do? I feel so helpless." He smirked then and I could help but wonder why he would. Did he find me being helpless was funny? I was fucking distraught.
"You should let me take care of you," he whispered, giving me a quick kiss on my hip.
"You know, you could be right," I said, as a giggle bubbled from my throat. "I have had a lot going on lately."
"Tell me all about It," he whispered from somewhere on my inner thigh.
"Well, I have a price on my head," I said, smiling.
"Minimal problem," he mumbled on my other inner thigh.
"Why is that?" I asked, lifting my leg only for him to capture them both in his strong arms.
"The dude told us everything," He said, now kissing the outer thigh area exposed to him, "He will not try to kill you because you didn't kill him. Even if he tried, I'd take him out."
"But what about Hawthorn," I asked seriously, even as I couldn't stop the giggle that threatened to come out as he playfully ate at my shorts.
"We will find him, Ann, I will make sure he never hurts a hair on your head," Christian said seriously, and I knew he meant it. He would kill for me, no doubt.
He moved down to kiss right behind my knee caps and I groaned. That was a secret spot only he knew about. I melted every time. "What about the money we owe?" I asked, breathing harder as he switched to the other knee.
"Todo's making the deal around noon today," Christian said steadily, but his eyes were trailing his hands down my calves. "We can pay him tonight."
"What if he wants blood?" I asked as an ache started to form. Christian was a menace. Here I was trying to have a serious conversation, and he was trying to seduce me and ease my mind at the same time.
Christian stopped playing with my toes to look at me again. Serious as a heart attack, he said, "He will take the money, Anna, and he will fucking like it. Besides, I have a plan. If he wants drama, we can bring it to him."
"And when were you going to share this plan?" I asked.
He looked at me with a duh expression before saying, "Not now, relaxing, remember? Just know I got your back, always."
"Okay, Mr. Fixit. What about the guy that robbed us? He won't be an easy person to touch. He has people too." I stated, sitting up.
"We have one advantage with him, Anna," Christian said, sitting across from me. "he doesn't know us, or that we know who he is. He didn't, do it personally, and we ain't made no moves toward him. He probably thinks he's good. His guard will be down when we go after him. He won't know what hit him."
"What about after?" I asked, looking into his eyes in the moonlight.
"What do you mean?" He asked at once at a loss for words.
"I don't want to do this forever," I said. "I want to go to college or something. I want to be legit. This street life, it's no way to live or have kids."
"You want to have my kids?" he asked, evading the question, something he was a pro at.
"I'm serious, Christian," I said in a stern voice.
"Anna, I would follow you to the moon," He said. "I don't plan on going to college. Wherever you go, I'll take up a trade or something. I'm all for getting a real job. I want a family with you too and I don't want to be in this dusty-ass city forever. If it's what you want, after we're done here, we go legit."
"You will go legit?" I asked, half not believing him at all and half hoping he was for real.
"For you? Damn right!"
"I been thinking about it for a while," I Admitted.
"Then that's what we doing," Christian said, looking mischievously. "But what do you want to do now?"
"Well," Ann started returning his mischievous look, "there is this one thing I've been wanting to try."
"Say the word," Christian said.