So this day has been wild. I woke up to my mother accusing me of wearing her underwear. I am so serious. She was rifling through my drawers and pulling out my stuff like some crazy person. I asked what was going on and what she was looking for. She turned to me, her eyes narrowed at me.
"Why do you children not respect me? What makes you think it is okay to wear a grown person's underwear?" She asked me.
Can you imagine if the neighbours heard her. Like we are that family, that lends each others' Underwear. I mean yes, I have stolen my brother's speedo costume when I have had one of those days where nothing is right and I can't find good underwear, but nobody knows about that so I don't understand my mother's accusations. Besides, I caught my mom wearing my underwear last year. I was so mad because she had squeezed herself in them and It was obvious that they would be all stretched. When I had asked her why she was wearing my underwear, she got all haughty and was like :" you're my child. I will wear your underwear if I have to. You're my daughter"
Ok and so?
Dean couldn't pick me up for school today because they were leaving for Prefect camp, and he was only coming back on Tuesday. Like what am I gonna do with my life?? I took the bus like some commoner, but people were happy to see me. I sat with the bus driver, Gerry. Everyone loves Gerry. He is fun, he lets us punch people's tickets for them and sometimes we can get him to stop by KFC and buy us ice cream. I was telling Gerry about the fifth Harry Potter I read last week, and I got super emotional because… Sirius Black dies. It hurt because he was the only thing closest to family Harry had. It's just not fair that he had to be taken from us. I mean it was a little weird that Sirius practically dedicated his whole life to James… Did he even date?
I was having anxiety about Deans trip because his ex was gonna be there, and I know how these camps go, people hook up, people you never thought could have a zilch of chemistry but things happen at camp. I mean, ask me, I should know all about it. And if something did happen… Dean would regret the day he was born. He sent me a text in the morning to tell me they were leaving. I was trying not to be the psycho controlling girlfriend but bitches are ruthless out there. Again, ask me. I know.
Speaking of which, I hadn't spent a lot of time with Scott, ever since I found out he was bumping uglies with his girlfriend, that like shut the door for me. All that stuff he said months ago were lies. And it's okay. I had moved on. Of course I noticed him when he walked into a room… I don't think that kind of stuff goes away. But I definitely did hate Cassandra with a burning passion. Things went from bad to worse when the whole school was suddenly called for an emergency assembly because someone's phone was stolen during first break. I was running with Billie to the hall(Prefects had to get to the hall first so we could seat everyone accordingly), and then some kid in grade 9 tapped me and told me I left my hair on the ground. Yes, that sounds about right. See I was wearing a fake ponytail and I was running, it fell off. What must the white people think. I was so mortified. My fellow matrics were laughing. I mean it was funny I guess and maybe one day I would laugh but today was not that day and Dean won't ever hear about this. After that, we had Math, and my word, it was so much fun in Maths. Melissa was writing down the times Scott looked at me. This was a game we played pre-Dean. And I don't know why she kept playing it now. At some point she elbowed me and whispered for me to look behind me because Scott was staring at me. I turned and found his piercing blue eyes watching me. I started shaking and my heart started pounding. He didn't even look away when I caught him looking. He just stared at me, and I couldn't look away. Looking into his eyes… It felt like I was looking at his heart, his soul. His soul was all colours, it was all blue, purple, red, orange, yellow and the colours molded and vibrated. My brother has a computer, whenever he plays house music on his windows media player, he always turns on the Equalizer so you can see how the beats play out on the screen. Scott's soul looked like that, like it had it's own beat. I was so mesmerized, the colours looked like my colours, we were nothing but colours and beats. I couldn't turn away. He didn't either.
I heard someone calling my name from a distance and then Lissa shook me roughly, I blinked and looked at her, feeling so shaken.
"Scott and Thandi? Are we interrupting you?" Miss Delaware asked,her voice stern but her eyes very amused, looking at me then at Scott who had turned pink.
"Sorry, was just daydreaming" I mumbled. What was that?? I have never felt such a strong connection with anybody in my entire life. But why was he even staring at me? Because his girlfriend was absent today and now suddenly I exist to him?
"Dude, what was that" Melissa asked me as we made our way down to the quad after class.
"Dude, I don't know. It was so intense. I couldn't look away. I don't know. I'm very confused. I was over Scott and now…" I groaned in frustration.
"Tell you what, tomorrow, you are sleeping over at my house and we will sit and go through this detail by detail, ok?"
That right there, was why I loved this chick. It was second break and I had prefect duty. I had to supervise the little turds who had gotten themselves detention. Dean(not my Dean, other Prefect dean) had ditched me to go play pokemans or Tops or Yogi Yo with his friends so I was on duty alone. There were only 3 kids there. Of course Scott came, why wouldn't he?
"Why don't you let them go early, Thandi?" He asked me, then gestured for the kids to leave.
"Scott!" I said, outraged. But the students had gone before I could call them back. I knew what he wanted, and I was trying very hard not to even divulge him. I didn't want to entertain him. Just having him stand there and look at me, I could feel all those feelings I had suppressed in me threatening to come out.
"What? You know it's a waste of time having them here when all they did wrong was wear the uniform incorrectly." He shrugged.
"Scott, I cannot do this. I am in a stable relationship. I am not strong enough for this" I told him and turned to walk away but he grabbed my arm. It scorched where his skin touched mine. It sent shocks all through my nerve system.
"We are just talking, Thandi" He said softly, pleading.
I sighed, and pulled my arm from his grip then shielded my eyes from the sun, so I could talk without having to look at him.
"Why did you do what you did in Math?" I asked
"I don't know, you were talking to your friend, and you were smiling… You live in your own world, and I just wanted to watch you." He shrugged, his cheeks going pink.
"Scott, you can't say stuff like that?? I have a boyfriend and you have a girlfriend, a girlfriend whom was more than happy to let me know that you guys bump uglies" I could feel the anger rising inside me.
His eyes widened with shock and sorrow. "I didn't know you knew. I am sorry"
I don't know what hurt more, that he couldn't even say it was not true or that he was looking at me with so much pity.
"What are you apologizing for? It is what it is." I shrugged, trying to swallow the tears.
"Are you over me?" He asked.His voice sounded small.
"I had pretty good reasons of why we couldn't be together Scott… I have trouble remembering them when you're here. Like this" My voice sounded so sad.
He looked a little relieved that I still felt something for him.
"Are you over me, Scott?" I asked him, searching his face.
"You had good reasons for us not being together, thandeka. I also am having trouble remembering them when you're here. Like this"
Oh damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Then we stared at each other like idiots. Then we were hugging… And then we were kissing. Like a pair of schmucks. I love Dean, dear diary, but I realized today that it is NOTHING compared to the boy I have loved for 5 years. He kissed me so tenderly and held my face as he kissed me deeply, it was like he was pouring every ounce of emotion on this kiss. I savoured it and let myself get lost in this kiss. Then the freaking bell rang and we broke apart. I could hear the other prefects filing into the prefect room to collect books they would need for the last two lessons before hometime. I didn't know what to do. Scott gestured for me to follow him to the prefect room. I saw Lissa standing outside the prefect room gesturing wildly to me. I signaled for her to give me a second.
"Do you wanna walk together to English?" Scott asked me, his eyes were soft, liquid. I could feel myself doing a little liquifying.
"I think Lissa is waiting for me. I'll catch you later" I said, not able to meet his eyes.
As soon as I joined Melissa , she hit me on the arm. "OW!"
"Why, just why were you making out with Scott FREAKING James outside the Library Window??" She hissed, gripping my arm
"You saw that?????" I asked shocked,"Who else saw us?"
"Was just me and some black girls in grade 9. "She shrugged.
"Oh shit" I was panicking.
"Dude, don't. They thought it was so sweet. You know how the black girls love you. And the whole thing was romantic. The way he was holding you and looking at you like a-a-a a blind man seeing the sun!" She sighed."What was he saying?"
"he said he is still not over me" I mumbled…
"Dude. What's gonna happen now? Are you gonna leave Dean?"
"Dean!!" I said out loud, suddenly remembering his existence
"yeah, we definitely need that sleepover tomorrow" Lissa said pulling me into a side hug. We passed a bunch of grade 9's and they were giggling when they saw me.
"is that them?" I asked lissa.
"Yup"
I spent the rest of english trying to remember how Dean made me feel and my love for him but it was so hard to remember when Scott was there in English, flipping his hair and being the Sun, like always. Tomorrow everything would go back to normal. Cassandra would be back. Scott would forget my existence and my heart would only belong to Dean.
Anyway… I need to finish a lot of homework… My mom is in much better spirits now, I think it's safe to say that she found her underwear.
I sent Dean a message to say goodnight and he hasn't responded, probably having an orgy at camp. And what right do I have to be mad when I am out here kissing other boys who aren't my boyfriend but other people's boyfriend? So why should I be mad if Dean is in an orgy as we speak??
Night
Lotsa Love