I am writing this from Melissa's house. Her boyfriend is outside, so they are making out and I don't mind her abandoning me because I need to catch up. The weirdness between Scott and I continued. First of all, I didn't know what to make of fucking yesterday. And I feel so guilty about what happened, I can't even text Dean with a clean conscience. I feel so guilty and disgusted with myself. I love Dean, we have a good time together. My family loves him, and someone of his outrageously good looks loves me. That means a lot. I don't know guys… I don't know. So today I went to school and Scott hadn't said anything to me. He was glued to his bestie, Kevin. They weren't besties like how us girls are besties, they went surfing together, got into trouble together and laughed at the other person's jokes that none of us seemed to think was funny. But I digress. His girlfriend was absent again today. It was cold and raining, so I was planning to lie to Lissa at Lunch, and tell her that I had duty so I could spend my break warm and cosy inside the prefect room. That way she would save lunch for me. What?
Don't look at me like that diary. Sometimes a girl lies to her best friend.
When the bell for lunch rang, I was one of the first people to reach the prefect room and you won't guess who was there? Well, I am sure you can guess who it was. It was Scott freaking James. And that's not even the big surprise of all. No, he had a Harry Potter book in his hands. He was reading the last book. I didn't even know he was into reading. I was so shocked I forgot that I'm not supposed to be talking to him and that he was persona non grata.
"Scott??? Are you reading Harry Potter?" I asked so stunned. He looked up at me and blushed.
"Yes, I started it months ago and it's actually really good" He said shrugging.
"Scott, that's-wow! I had no idea you were a Harry Potter fan! Which part are you on? " I was still surprised and excited to pick his brain. He shifted uncomfortably.
"The part where they are in the woods, and with no clues of where next to go, And Ron is acting like an Arse. What's his deal anyway? Why is he jealous of Hermione and Harry??" Scott asked sounding peeved. I plopped myself down next to him. The other prefects were streaming in.
I laughed, "It's the necklace. You know? The Horcrux. Even when Harry wears it, his insecurities manifest in a negative way. The necklace does it, I don't know why they don't realize it" I shrugged, crossing my ankles on the coffee table.
And we discussed harry potter in detail . No, like seriously, we talked about why Voldemort needed harry's blood when he was being reborn, and why the dead people that Voldemort had killed had manifested and helped Harry out in the fourth book and I kept teasing him with Spoilers. Then I got real emotional when the subject of Sirius Black came up, Scott looked at me with amusement as I blotted my tears away with the sleeve of my blazer. Then we talked about Xmen, he asked me what power I would want if I had to choose from the people from Xmen and I told him Stormie. He was surprised by my answer. Hello, I could control the weather and fly and make it rain lightning bolts if I wanted to. He laughed when I told him that. He said he would like Magneto's power. The power to bend metal to his will. And I laughed and said he was Evil because Magneto is totally Evil, and he pushed me playfully. I ignored the zing of electricity that went through my body. At least people didn't look at us weirdly, we were just two co-prefects talking about superheroes. Then the subject moved to music. He was surprised when he learnt that I was just as obsessed with his favourite band Daughters, which I started listening to because I had heard through the Grapevine that he loved their music and I started downloading their music (in the hopes that one day, he would find out that we have the same taste in music and maybe that makes us soulmates) and happened loved it.
"Wow, what else do you listen to Thandeka?" he asked , leaning close so he could look at my phone.
I showed him my playlist, and he would pause and comment on which song he liked and has on his phone. Then the bell rang and his bestie told him they had to hurry for their next class which they had together . Billie and Amy walked with me to our next class.
"So what were you and Poseidon talking about all break that you both didn't even get up to go eat?"
That was Billie.
"And that he kept finding an excuse to touch your arm and lean in close. " Amy said with a smirk.
"Guys, we were just talking. Just two friends talking" I said.
Amy rolled her eyes"Yeah a friend you were so in love with and also made-"
I gestured for Amy to shut up with my eyes because Billie still didn't know about the kissing thing. The only people who knew were Melissa, Jade and Amy. But I hadn't told them about recent events. Billie didn't notice anything amiss.
"Hmmm. You know, if I didn't know any better I would say he likes likes you. The way he stares at you when you aren't looking… I don't know. But you definitely aren't invisible to him like you were before. " Billie looked pensieve.
"well gee thanks" I scoffed at her last sentence.
"No I mean he definitely notices you now"
I didn't know what to say to that, but I did know that I enjoyed talking to him immensely. Then we started talking about Snow White and the Huntsman, which was coming out next month, and a whole bunch of us were gonna see it at night. It is always fun to go see a movie at night.
Oh wait. My phone just beeped.
It's Charlene from Dean's school.
She's also at camp. Oh wow. Apparently last night, Jessica and group of her friends went in the room dean was sleeping in. There was some kind of party and once everyone left, Jessica didn't leave. She stayed the whole night in Dean's room.
20:08pm
Dean is not answering his phone.
20:40pm
Like you know when you are raging and can't do a damn thing about it because the person whose head you wanna put through the wall isn't there and will only be back on Tuesday and you want to stay on this level of angry til they come back??? Like I am that livid. I even thought of going to his house and trashing his room, but no. That's too crazy. But it would send a message. A message that says:"DON'T FUCK WITH ME"!!!!!!!!
21:15pm
This boy. Like I can see that he is online on BBM but not answering my calls. I just saw found his prefect badge that he left at my house and I carried it around in my pencil case. Where's my scissors so I can scratch it. There. Done.
I do not feel better.
22:05pm.
Dean finally called me back and the worse thing happened. When he called, I was at that point of anger where I was crying . And it was that horrible cry and I didn't even care that Melissa's family could hear me and were probably thinking that I was a pycho.So I was crying on the phone, swearing at him and he was apologizing saying that he loves me and it's not what I think. I told him that I wanted nothing to do with him and I wish I had never met him. Now he won't stop blowing up my phone.
23:01pm
I Just realized. I am the biggest hypocrite EVER. I kissed another guy just yesterday and I just broke up with Dean over something that I didn't have concrete proof of. Wow.
Night Night lotsa Love