Xiu Zan's words remained suspended in an echo made of silences.
The girl found herself, once again, in a growing panic, unable to react in the way she would have liked. It took a few minutes to regain awareness of herself and the world around her and the handmaid did not rush her, as if understanding her discomfort.
"So... Am I dead?" She asked, hesitating more on the last word.
-If I found myself here, it means that my previous body has gone to death...-
The nod Xiu Zan gave her in response made her shiver.
She was aware she was speaking of his lady, a certain Yeh YaQin, and yet seeing her confirm it so openly gave her right on the end to which her previous existence had come. Was it possible that with her desire to meet a new life she had outraged the will of the gods, to the point of being punished?
Or maybe...
-Have they accepted my prayers...?-
Despite this thought, she could not feel happy with the outcome. To put on the shoes of another person, to live her life in spite of what she herself had built and achieved with her own strength... How cruel could it be to do such a thing? With a heart moved by unusual pity for her, she hastened to confess, hoping to be believed.
"I am not Yeh YaQin."
She said, with renewed confidence, hoping that the kind woman could understand, however absurd the whole situation was.
Xiu Zan let out a low sigh, and then watched her, with renewed patience. "I was warned of this too."
Now, the confused-looking one was the girl with no name.
"I was told you might lose your memory, and that would be normal."
The girl said nothing, motionless as a statue. Sure, she'd lost some memories, but certainly not what she meant. But how to make her understand?
"My kind Xiu Zan, I tell you again... I don't know who this Yeh YaQin is, but it's not me. I'm just a poor girl who has always lived in misery, nothing else."
Despite her statements, the handmaid did not falter for a moment, merely nodding at her words. "I understand your confused state, but I can prove to you that you are my lady."
With the same patience contained in her tone of voice, the woman stood up, approaching that tea table once more. The girl followed her movements, questioningly, and then relaxed her shoulders when she was offered a pretty mirror.
"Check it out for yourself." She insisted, leaving the object in her hand.
The girl remained motionless, undecided whether to give in to curiosity to observe that new body, or whether to give up and continue to deny it all. Eventually, interest prevailed.
After a brief moment of hesitation, dictated by her own sense of guilt in being there at that moment, she carefully observed herself in the reflection of the mirror. What she saw left her breathless.
Yeh YaQin was a wonderful girl, around her twenty-five years old. The pale skin, of the same whiteness of the snow, carried on it the clear echo of death, which - of course - would never leave it again. A ghostly pallor, but no less elegant. The face was then characterized by two pale brown eyes, a small nose with a slightly upturned tip and lips, neither too thin nor too full, slightly parted in an expression of silent amazement. Her hair - long, much longer than she used to wear - had a wonderful golden brown color.
The nameless girl was speechless at the sight. In awe, she let out a subtle "wow", which made Xiu Zan smile with satisfaction.
"I hope this is enough, as proof of my words."
She said, crossing her arms over her chest, allowing herself a brief moment of pride. Despite this - perhaps precisely because of this - the young woman's soul was shaken by a new wave of guilt.
-How can I get hold of this body...? Why are the gods playing with me like this? Do they want to test me?-