I shudder when footsteps sound down the hall. Tasmin is there, clothes and hair soaked through, eyes just as shocked as they were when I left her standing alone. Her footsteps echo, the sound reverberating off of the walls as she approaches. I squint my eyes closed, prepared for something a lot more painful than my leaving her. I deserve it anyway. But instead, when I open my eyes, I feel arms wrap around me. Her clothes seem dry, warmth radiating off her as she embraces me. She glances up at me, eyes wide, blue pools with no bottoms, calling me to her. I feel my cheeks heat as she grows nearer. I have a feeling that I won't miss this time, and that the night won't end as sharply as it did before.
Tasmin's hugging me so tight, I can't even wriggle my arms out to hold her. But it doesn't matter, because her lips, painted gold under the yellow lights, are so close now, I can feel her breath spreading over my lips, tickling my chin and cheeks. And I never realised how strong Tasmin was, with her arms tightening even further. My breath hitches.
Too tight. I'm struggling to breathe. Tasmin murmurs my name under her slowing breath.
"Harry…"
I feel drowsy, drunk on her voice, drunk on the fresh memory of her laughter, but a black mist spreads through the joyful memories. The glass-sharp rain returns, the cold night breathes. I see Tasmin standing alone in the rain, staring blankly as I run from my past.
"Harry," she calls out to me.
My legs lose all sensation of standing on solid ground. The floor gives way to water, rising rapidly. From my toes to my ankles to my knees. My lungs refuse to work, and the blood drains from my face, unable to travel any further. Tasmin isn't there anymore. It's a different girl, with completely different features. She's so familiar, but my blurry vision prevents me from seeing who it is exactly. Her darker shadow looms in front of me, demanding my attention with her alluring voice, not letting go.
"Harry!"
The voice isn't Tasmin's anymore. It's Ben's. A warm hand lands on my shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. I think for a second of my mum, but the water recedes, the numbness disappears, the floor feels solid, and standing in front of me is Ben. Not Tasmin, Ben.
"Ben?" I croak.
"Hey, there," he says, grabbing my other shoulder and turning me to face him. I think I started to fall backwards. "You alright? You look like you're going to faint."
I try to stand up straight, but my vision still is misty.
"What happened tonight?" he asks worriedly. "You were fine less than half an hour ago, weren't you?" he asks and I don't respond. He gives me a glare, then shakes me. "Don't tell me you had something to drink, Harry?!" His expression looks so much like my mum's, I almost refer to him as that.
"I… didn't," I manage to choke out. I look at the floor, probably looking guilty, but I'm glad that I'm still holding both my wallet and the note firmly in my hands. "Where's Emily?" I ask, simply to sound as casual as possible.
"At the party," he replies, slightly suspicious of me. Then Ben looks left and right. "Where's Tasmin?"
"At the party."
"Huh," is all Ben replies with. He glances down the hallways, left and right, then pulls me closer to him so he can whisper. "You two didn't have an argument, did you?"
"No." It isn't exactly a lie. Tasmin and I barely exchanged words tonight. We didn't argue at all. My vision is clearer now, and I shrug away Ben's hands.
He scans my hands, nodding at the note. "What's that?"
I try to fold it, but the corner rips and I wince. "Nothing."
Ben's lips turn from a straight line to a cheeky grin. He smirks, "Oh, I get it. 'Nothing'". Accentuating the quotation marks with bunny-ear fingers. When I don't smile, he asks, "And the wallet?"
I tuck the note into the wallet, then start sifting through the cash my father had given me. "I'm going to buy Tasmin something." I slide the wallet into my back pocket.
"You're gonna go shopping at this hour with a collection of water on your back that's enough to fill up an Olympic swimming pool? I don't think so." He tugs on my shirt sleeve. "You should go to bed."
I shake my head. He shakes his head at me too. "The shops aren't open. You're not gonna have any luck tonight, bro."
I'm willing to have a debate with Ben at this moment in time, but I realise that speaking with Ally tomorrow will be great before buying a present for Tasmin. Ally will reassure me. She'll know what to say, what to do, how to solve this mess I threw myself into.
Without another word, I return to our cabin, Ben following quietly behind me, and remaining quiet for the rest of the night. Not long after I'm in bed, Charlie returns, raving about how he beat Lilli in three rounds of Limbo, and how embarrassing it was for her. He doesn't ask how the night went for Tasmin and I. I'm grateful.
When all the lights flick off, the cold returns. The hard rain, the chilling wind, and less than a centimetre from my face, Tasmin's bluebell eyes, now looking as cold as the night. I left her in the rain, and she has every right to glare at me. But even when I close my eyes, her lowly figure is all I can see, embedded in the darkness of the hours before dawn.
It isn't raining anymore. In fact, as sunlight breaks the horizon, disconnecting the dark sky from the flat expanse of sea, orange beams skid across the water's surface. There are thin clouds, almost transparent, sunkissed. And as the darkness retreats, Ally appears.