It finally becomes apparent that my seasickness has had enough of wrecking havoc on my stomach. At that point, Charlie's helped me flush away the contents of my stomach, clean my face, and then allowed me some privacy to slide on more comfortable clothing. When I step out of the bathroom, I hear slow music. Similar music to what had played just as I realised I needed to leave the party.
Charlie's holding the remote, staring at the television in concentration. When he notices me appear, he gestures for me to come over. I join him, standing awkwardly as he continues flicking through different music channels. He settles for the first one I heard, places down the remote, then rushes to turn off the lights for the main room and for the bathroom.
"Give me a second," he says.
When the darkness enfolds us, I'm absolutely blind for a moment, even the television's music channel isn't bright enough to light up the room, but then I turn around and see the fairy lights. I smile at them. Emily was the one who insisted on visiting Target the day before we left on this cruise just to purchase fairy lights for the cabin.
In this artificial night with twinkling lights all around, Charlie's hands find mine.
"Charlie?"
"You know how we were really intense rivals in primary school?"
I nod, knowing good and well that he can't see me, but then I say, "Yes?"
"I have to admit, constantly fighting with you was so much fun," he tells me, and I think about all the times we bickered over almost nothing when we were twelve year-olds. "But this," I can finally make out his face in the pure blackness of this room. He squeezes my hands comfortingly. "This is so much better."
I smile stupidly at him. Charlie always had trouble giving serious speeches in primary school, and if twelve year-old me had heard what now-Charlie had just said, I would've lost my marbles.
"Oh, thank goodness I'm the first speaker." Charlie shoots me a grin. "Now it's your turn to come up with some savage rebuttals."
I raise my eyebrows at him. "Really?"
"What?" he grins at me and I grin back. Then, with an obvious and shaky breath, he slides my hands onto his shoulders and then places his hands carefully at my waist. "I, um… kinda owe you a dance now, right? Since we didn't get to dance at all tonight."
I feel my face get red, but luckily it's too dark to see. I hope. And for the reason that it's dark, I have an excuse to be just slightly more reckless.
I loop my arms around his neck, pulling myself slightly closer.
"The worst dancer has to serve the other breakfast tomorrow morning," I challenge.
"Hmm," Charlie hums. "You're on."
Just as we start to step around the room, admiring each other under the twinkling artificial stars, I feel my heart flutter. My heart has spread wings and attempts to press past the walls of my body and out into the cabin to smack Charlie in the face.
Then, as quick as the moment comes, it leaves. The door lock clicks, and a muffled beep sounds from just on the other side of the wall, and when the door slides open, it's Emily. Followed by Ben and Tasmin. As soon as they see us, they share O-shaped mouths, staring us up and down cautiously. It seems that time has completely frozen.
"Um…" Emily starts, uncertain. She starts to slide the door closed, Ben and Tasmin backing up behind her. "We'll go."
I realise my arms are still knotted around Charlie's neck. With the new light in this room, they are sure to see the redness of my face. But it isn't just my face. My whole body's burning up.
"N-no, you don't have to. Charlie and I were just…" But what am I supposed to say to explain this? They can clearly guess. "Come in."
Slightly abashed, Emily slides into the room, Ben and Tasmin shuffling along. With a cough, Charlie changes the channel. "How was the party?" he asks flatly. I get the feeling Charlie's slightly annoyed with the interruption. At that, I can't help but grin to myself.
They glance at each other, Ben biting his lip nervously. Tasmin just looks unappeased.
"Well," Ben starts. "We didn't really party after you guys left."
"What? Why?"
"Um…" he tilts his head at Emily, clenching his teeth. Emily just shakes her head.
"Didn't feel like it."
I raise an eyebrow. "That's unlike you, Em." I turn to Tasmin, who's avoiding eye contact. "What about you, Taz…?"
Emily. Ben. Tasmin. No one else. "Where's Harry?"
Head down, eyes dark.
Crap. I did something. The way I've acted, what I said behind Tasmin's back, it's triggered something. I wanted Tasmin to be careful, not to push away anyone who could be a risk.
Still staring Tasmin down, I say, "Make yourselves feel at home. I need to have a chat with Tasmin."
At this, she glances up, gaping at me. I purse my lips, stepping into the warmly-lit corridor. She trudges out begrudgingly, still refusing to look into my eyes.
I grab her shoulders. "What happened? What did you say to him?"
She gawks at me. "What did I say to him?! More like, what did he say to me!" She stares blankly at the floor. "Or… what he isn't saying to me." Her voice is softer now. Hurt.
I sigh. "Is this because of what… I said today?"
She meets my eyes this time. "When… you were… talking to me while –"
I cut her off. "When I spoke to Emily about Harry while you were showering."
Her eyes widen and someone drops a bucket of red paint on her cheeks. "I hate secrets," she whispers.
I tsk at her. "I don't like keeping things from you either, but –"
"But what? It's for my own good?" She shrugs my hands off her shoulders aggressively. "I'm not a child, Lilli! I deserve to know as much as you, don't I? Isn't that fair? I mean, you're the one always obsessing over equality and shit."
"Tasmin!"
"Hey!" A few doors down, a woman has stuck her head out of her cabin to yell at us. "Some people are trying to sleep at this hour," she informs us expectantly.