My friends have a plan. No doubt about it. They have a plan and they know all about it and I don't. I'm left in the dark as we dress, asking and not receiving answers. Not that I don't trust them or anything, because usually their plans are something to behold. With the exception of the time they made me walk blindly through Emily's backyard on my birthday. I expected to open my eyes and see an extravagantly-decorated backyard with multicoloured balloons and bunting, but instead I was gifted with no happy voices to greet me as well as the prospect of falling into Emily's pool.
My friends have a plan and it may or may not kill me.
I pat down my swimwear, smoothing the creases, enjoying the smooth fabric beneath my fingers, and twirling the frilly hem of it around and around. I shake, the air conditioner's refreshing breath prickling my bare back with chilling goosebumps. My feet meet softly dimpled thongs, the unpleasant moistness of my sweat slowly dissolving as they part from the warm carpet. Then I'm sliding on my beige-rimmed sunglasses and a hat which sighs over me.
I glance up, examining myself in the bathroom mirror, specifically trying to pick out the negatives to criticise myself on.
There's so much to choose from! What will I choose today? I think to myself.
I'm slightly annoyed when my self-hate session is interrupted by eardrum-shattering knocks at the door. So I give myself one last disapproving glance, adjust my floppy hat, and unlock the door, stepping out to meet Emily and Lilli, who gush at the sight of me, making my cheeks blush.
"You look great, Taz!" Emily compliments.
Lilli nods in agreement. "You really do."
I slump over to them begrudgingly, letting my hands swing low as I throw myself into them, which is returned by a playful bear hug. When the hug lasts uncomfortably long I blurt, "Okay, okay, I get it, are we going now?"
"Yup." Emily replies. "You know, all the dudes are going to be chasing after you."
I shake my head quickly and say, "Right back at you, girlfriend."
"We both know that only one dude will be chasing after you," Lilli comments.
I feel like I'm suffocating in this room, but I gulp down my thoughts and roll my eyes. "Yeah, who would that be?"
Now it's my friends' turn to be thoroughly displeased with me.
"Don't act stupid, and don't think we're dumbasses," Emily tells me. "You honestly can't hide a thing. You're the world's greatest liar, for sure."
"Right, right," I conclude. "When do we have to be at the pool?"
"Mn… two," Lilli says.
"And what time is it now?"
A swift glance at her watch and the expression Lilli gives us is all the evidence we need to know that we're going to be late. So we spend the next minute rushing around, pulling on our clothes, trying to remember everything we need. I think I've severely bruised my shins tripping over Emily's feet every few seconds.
When we think we've finally packed everything up, we gather around Lilli's backpack to double check that the contents are correct.
"Three towels?" Lilli asks.
"Got 'em," I confirm.
"Sunscreen?"
"Yep!"
"Spare clothes."
"All folded and accounted for, ma'am."
Goofy smile from Lilli. "My book?"
"Don't know why you'll need it, but yes."
"I — Of course I… Nevermind."
"Our phones!" Emily exclaims, tucking hers into a small pocket within the bag.
"Three out of three."
"Oh! Our Just-In-Case-Tampons-And-Pads?"
I pat the front pocket. "All there."
Another moment of silent thought, and then, "I think that's everything then," from Lilli.
So we square our shoulders, Lilli squares her backpack, and we're off and up to the top deck, passing the cruise staff that gave us the weird look earlier.
I think the phrase, 'Silence before the chaos' works perfectly well in my situation, because we're riding up the elevator towards the top deck, and I can tell when we reach a new deck because you can hear the muffled chattering, soft and lilting, and then silent slams down like an anvil before the muffled talking returns.
The carriage slows and halts to a stop, and the elevator Siri-sounding voice announces we've arrived at Deck twelve. And as soon as the doors slide open, I feel as if a massive wave has come crashing through the doors, lifting us up and dragging us out into the hustle and bustle that is the top deck.
Noise, noise and more noise up here. Hundreds of people chatting, screaming, laughing, and forming a screeching whirlwind of monkey-like sounds. In the background, upbeat melodies play, lifting people's spirits. And sunlight beams down brightly, covering the deck completely, heating up our feet.
The enticing aroma of freshly-cooked hot food fills my nostrils, making me sigh longingly, drawing my senses to the dining area, but I keep my eyes trained on every entrance and exit possible, seeing if I can spot… well, Harry.
"You sure we're supposed to be here at two?" I ask, starting to feel very, very anxious.
Lilli places a hand on my shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. "They'll be here soon, Tasmin," she tells me comfortingly. "Meanwhile, let's go put our stuff down on some seats and save some for them."
The top deck reminds me so much of being back in year six, with all the loud noise and movement. I can almost feel myself as a twelve year old again, resting on the wooden benches with an entire year of primary school ahead of me to look forward to.
After placing our bags down, we stand there, basking in the sun, waiting and waiting, getting more and more anxious every minute.
Over the heads of several guests I spot his bright smile that in my opinion could challenge and win against the sun.
We meet again.