My nail art is gone
It eroded with the tear streaked avalanche
The soft breeze made me sneeze
It's how hard it is to breathe
My contact lenses disappeared
It hurts my eyes then, now it doesn't for it isn't here
The hues and veins in shades
Now away and just fades
My pastries turned stale
Its sweetness became bitter scales
The powders, the sugars, the milk, the cheese
Now are mere plain grounded piles of flavors
My art and music turned lonely
It's tangled in an oh so ragged melody
The paint, the note, the aesthetic
The hinges merely wants Chaos's embrace
-- "How is it?" I asked Jed Euie as I sent him the poem I wrote for tonight.
"You lost a dear friend" he said
How come that came out? I didn't intend to make it so obvious.
"Why did you say so?" I asked hiding my surprise
"You now wear your nails bear, you now wear your glasses, you rarely bake, you don't write songs anymore. Your cool is gone and you rarely smile. Need I say more Jazzy?" He said teasingly touching the tip of my nose, a gesture I get to love though it was a little too annoying at first.
I smiled for the first time in a week. My poems are always Greek even to my closest friends who are nearly linguists and creative writers, in their own mutually weird way. But to Jed Euie, my codes hidden in verses or grins or pouts and simple hints just seem so easy. That's how he portrays he knows more a lot about me.
"There you go! That's the sincerest smile I saw from you in a week poetry addict!" he told me sweetly while he hastily and carelessly started brushing his hands through my hair
"Aww! Stop, you prick! Not my hair!" I said trying to hide my smile in faint annoyance
"Hmm you need this prick's mischief you know. Take a look at those eyes! They still look like they've been bitten. You still have been crying for God knows how many times." He said in a low voice.
"Yeah right!" I said hastily removing his arms over my shoulders. But I'm thankful for this. It made me forget for a while.
My best friend just died a week ago. She wasn't able to handle the numerous dialysis sessions and other treatments for her Lupus anymore. Being the person who always hears my amateur self-composed songs, eats my baked pastries, my study buddy, food buddy, the person I turn and cry to, her death made me feel like I was paralyzed; made limp. I might show I already moved on that easy but I haven't yet.
Leah Elize took a part of me that I'll always feel as missing. But yeah, I know she is not experiencing extreme pain anymore, in fact I can somewhat see her smiling or grinning down at me while I cry like a fool. 'Hey rotten cheese! Your face is a mess again cry baby'. That's how she always teases me. Hiding her sweetness in silly little teasing.
The sudden music startled me and it made me smile silly.
"Come on let's dance" Jed Euie said leading me to the center of the hall we are in. I didn't notice him lighting all the candles meant to be used for fellowship and in turn putting the lights bulbs off.
"What are those?" I asked him with sheer curiosity
"They're prayer candles for Leah Elize. Let's just say these are stars welcoming her. Or hmm why don't you just follow my mood? Dance with me My Lady"
I let myself be lead by his steps and the music