Jason didn't respond to Oberin's 'parting' words. Choosing instead to just nod his head and sit back down legs crossed.
'He's not wrong, it's been only 34 hours since... Wait how do I know that? Wait wait wait, fascinating self-world shacking changes and later. I've been so wonderstruck until Oberin woke me up from it all now.
I'm no a stranger to seeing violence committed from times before I was born. I've even seen much more gruesome scenes of human nature than that too, but I never realized the underlying wall around my perception of a life, or life itself that it's caused me.
Being so unemotionally attached from death, and thinking of it as something of a natural cycle which isn't wrong. However, I think its an issues, I dismissed my grief earlier pushing those feelings away, once I knew there wasn't a chance to save them leaving it to a 'well everything dies eventually sitting around crying isn't going to change that'.
What Oberin said about appreciating them before and after isn't a bad idea. Making myself dismiss their deaths as any others is wrong, I'll forget about them like I did every other person I saw die in the past. No matter how closely I followed their lives, I never was able to Interact with them, I always knew I would come to see their deaths no matter how beautiful their life so I just got used to that natural process.
Though once I could, I never thought about changing that, the only time I ever felt any real emotional turmoil about it was when I was wondering if I would die someday too.
I unknowingly created another glass wall around myself preventing me from changing or growing as a person. Further issues is, I was never really treating myself as one either.
I always felt so alienated from everyone else since the way I saw the world. Even Erog could never understand, but I never made many attempts to further understand their view of life since I saw them too as just quick blips of and endless cycle.
Thinking back, the times I felt most happy, most motivated to do anything or change, was when I was with them. I felt it more like quenching curiosity and the thrill of learning how the world worked, exploring my own limits.
I was still think like I would before I was physically born, but like Oberin said I didn't forge who I am alone, I didn't spark my curiosity alone. They all guided me, their encouragement and shared excitement all inspired me. They even sheltered me from the viciousness of our own neighbors, because of them I was free to experience the world as much as I wanted to within reasonable limits.
If I was born to another family, especially if they didn't share my physical appearance even a bit like my mother, as my light caused my body to change how would they have treated me? I've seen millions of acts preformed to children I never would want to have experienced first had, reading through their memories was enough to know that those experiences are burned into you, the same as or if not more, than the best moments.
I don't think I'd be so carefree, explorative, creative or anything else positive. If I experienced abuse, slavery, starvation on my own I'd very likely be even more indifferent to life. I don't think I could have held on to the beauty I see in the world around me so clearly.
I could have ended up mentally twisted, as I saw many people who faced the those terrible fates growing up would later be seemingly destined to repeat them onto others in a warped method of relieving the pain.
Erog let me further see into what you can do with the world around you, he taught me to think outside the box and Irina and Damir made that happen. They had no ability's close to mine, but they shaped me, to be happy, healthy and enjoy my life.
They hid every detail of danger that was wrapping around us, proactively planning to protect that peace, and all because of some sick bastards projecting their own life tortures onto others my parents, beautiful people, are now dead.'
Tears rained, rolling down his face. Pressing his face into his shirt to wipe the tears he smelled his home, between the smell of smoke and ash that covered his clothes, he smelt the simple bar soap his mother used to wash it, and then many particular smells his house emitted trapped deep in the fibers of his shirt.
Pulling his shirt around his face between sobbing exhales, he took deep breaths remembering and realizing all he had just lost with each scent he recognized. Their morning fresh bread, the meat his dad cooked over the fire while his mother baked in on their small wooden stove they got using the extra money Erog was making selling their works, all details he never found relevant to him until now, his reality finally hit him.
'This Soul Gateway let me break the glass wall the world placed on me; however, this is something I need to break inside myself. I've been an observer for far too long, I grew deaf to the importance and values in a life, even my own. I never thought how important the actions of other people really were, until it was too late to see I was taking it all for granted.
Just because someone's dead does not mean their gone, their actions in life carry a ripple effect regardless of if it brought joy or pain. My Mom and Dad saw life as something to explore and enjoy, they simply wanted happiness, they knew the cruelty's of the world. They didn't let it affect their character, views, or lives, they chose to and wished to be left alone to our happy lives, if others wouldn't accept us that was fine to them, as long as we were together they would have forsaken the whole world right back.
There's always more I can learn about them, and I have the perfect tool to do it too. But their will never truly die either, because their lives will be within my own. My parents lost their lives trying to hiding the shackles of the world from me, protecting ME. I can see why Oberin would dedicate his life to freeing his people, I never thought how it must feel to watch those you love weighed down, and their lives controlled by forces beyond themselves until their end.
Hell the people who killed them are no better off, tools of their own and others hate for the limitations of their own lives, desperate to change them, desperate enough to hurt another with joy in their eyes and cheers rattling from their souls at something they saw freeing them.'
He continued sobbing, reminiscing of his life, seeing that these 12 years had changed so much more than watching an entire universe for endless eons did for him. He never understood the world until he could feel it, and even then he'd still taken it for granted.
-"Thank you Oberin."-
Jason's mind slowly but eventually cleared up, and he was grateful to Oberin for his words. He might not have come to these same conclusions without them, maybe betraying all his parents had taught him and raised him to be. He didn't know how to express it, any words he thought of didn't seem to do his emotions justice.
So with his thank you he sent only all the emotions he felt and the direct feeling of his gratitude to him for it.
-"Anytime youngin, you have many more lessons to learn that might not be answerable directly in the Infinity Archive, just always keep your mind open. The world you perceive around you is only as you make of it. If you never have the strength to break the shackles that bind your or the courage to form new ones, you deprive yourself of free will."-
-"I'm going to cultivate and try and break through a few more times, to maybe to stages 4-5. I want to see if that will make the speed I can refine the comprehension stars at least double the current refinement speed.
Once I'm a little more adjusted to this, is it possible for me to return to Earth and meet Erog face to face?"-
-"Yes, and maybe no, your appearance is drastically different now if you haven't noticed he might not recognize you, or you'll have to share some world shattering information with him to believe it's you. When you reach the 4th stage, let's look into making a concealment or appearance alteration technique for you. They're rather simple, and for your first arcane or spiritual art it's kind of perfect very little risk for you especially.
Right now you don't even look like a regular 12 year old, you're about 1.8m(5'11') tall if you hadn't noticed, and your build looks similar to that of a soldier seasoned by battle, and your face no longer has any child like appearance, your jaw's sharper your, and face more lean over all.
Also, I didn't wish to worry you before but the fight with the heavens laws of this dimensional plane took a far greater toll. I never anticipated them rejecting the birth of your current existence so strongly, it fills me with joy to see them feel so threatened like that; The laws here are already the weakest place our entire race was ever able to find in a seven million year long search.
Back to the point, I grossly under estimated, and I've been planning the first conceptions of this since I realized you were what I was looking for around eight billion years ago now. However, even with that I only managed to scrap away with about eight years of mental stability albeit nothing else happens.
We don't know what's going to happen when you go to breakthrough to your first Divine Tier, my assumption is your tribulation won't even be possible here with out causing this plane on the dimensional pillar collapsing. But to ask anyone to reach for their first divine tier breakthrough in eight years would be insane if not impossible; however, I have faith it won't be such a lofty aspiration for you.
My point of mentioning this is I wouldn't have suggested if not for that, to guarantee no interruptions to your progress, and given Erog's particular nature I suggest you invite him here.
Though be tactful if you do decide to do so, even you were wonderstruck by the revealing to the greater nature of your existence. A purely mortal man, especially of his age could face an untold amount of mental turmoil."-
-"I, don't really know what to say to that but alright, it shouldn't take me too long to do that. You mentioned improving my cultivation method further than what you described to me, so I'm going to do just that before though, because I don't understand really what I'm doing yet.
Right now it's like how the humans on earth breath, they just do it, they can control the rate, the flow the pressure at will. Though, most of them don't understand what's happening at all other than if they don't what happens.
If I'm just running on instincts, with out understanding what faster or slower breaths actually do, how will I ever better my breathing right?"-
-"Exactly, I was really worried about you not be willing, or just have no interest. Glad to see those worry's unfounded, explore your limits at will. You know how to get my attention, I'll be restoring the Citadels functions slowly."-
With that Jason entered back into the Infinity Archive, taking note that he really could sense more of his body and the outside than before.
Pouring some soul force directly into the core he gave his question first question
'What simple things can I use my Base Essence practically for?'
A comprehension star appeared 46 thousand kilometers away. It would take him a little over a day to refine and collect that.
Beginning his work, Jason flooded the connection to the comprehension star with Soul Force. It moved towards the Archive's core at bit faster than last at 514m/s this time.
It took just as long as he thought, the comprehension was now being refined in the core. Knowing what to expect he wasn't as startled by the abrupt appearance of knowledge into his mind as he was previously.
'My Base Essence Infinity can be converted universally into any one aspect, Oberin told me that. But what he means is the energy I keep perceiving around me is actually like the atomic elements. The most basic ones are of pure, fire, ice, water, earth, wood, air, lightning, metal, light, and darkness.
They can be divided into arcane, spiritual energy, and a third "unique energy concepts" it explained nothing about. Arcane energies are of a more physical nature requiring instructions imparted to be of use. Level of the energy, and the laws the energy determined to which the complexity it can be instructed.
Spiritual energy is of a more meta-physical nature, imprinted with a sliver of the users soul essence, the amount of control depended on the talent to imbue that into it. Being a 'god' I have the advantage that spiritual energy is imprinted by my core rune and not just soul force; however, that makes it more like my own limbs, rebounds or miss use can directly hurt my core rune apparently when over drafted.
The major thing here is that comprehension gave me a simplistic understanding of the basic aspects corresponding to the elements. It provided me with a "rune of control" for each of the basic true elements it revealed to me and made a comprehension star for each. For spiritual energy it gave me a set of instincts to explore for each.
They both seem connected in a sense still though. Let's give it a try though.'
Having digested the new information Jason drew out a couple strands of arcane water energy and then made it revolve in form the rune of control for it. The energy easily melded into the shape he requested and then stabilized once it fully took form no longer needing to pour more energy into.
Water droplets slowly condensed revolving around the 2x2cm rune making a small 5cm diameter ball of water. Using strands of his own arcane water energy he tugged on it slightly, not expecting it to move the water ball continued moving in his direction. Reaching him it spread out along his chest the water soaked his clothes and spread out along his skins surface but still tried to maintain the ball form, thought unsuccessfully.
The rune was dimmed rapidly, eventually vanishing and the water released for its grasp poured down the rest of his chest.
Not caring that it looked like someone spit water on him, he continued drawing the rune for water again. This time once it stabilized he continued to pour energy into the rune and the water condensed much quicker.
Once it reached a 5cm diameter he poured more in and it grew bigger reaching about 10cm wide. Siphoning energy away made it grow smaller, eventually vanishing.
'Well that's cool!' Jason thought with a wide grin across his face. "Arcane runes store energy, depleting it to maintain form and function. I can feed it just enough to remain, improve, weaken, or just let it eventually destabilize and collapse. Time to try out spirit energy next."
Again using the true water aspect to test he generated some streams of his true infinity aspect spirit energy. Converting them to the true water aspect gaining an azure blue color. (A/N: For a reminder and clarifier "true infinity aspect" is his unique infinity aspect, different from his True Base Essence which is his true body.)
His connection to the energy was very vivid, as weird as it was he felt it emotionally. Focusing on it he tried to make it not just move around in a ball but actually materialize. Reacting to his wish water droplets formed and took form in the air in a ball same size to the arcane rune. He chose this shape for comparison.
'The water produced this time I'm directly linked to rather than the rune, but if I stop focusing on it for a second feeding it energy it'll break apart. However it's much faster than arcane energy.'
Letting go of it the water instead of splashing the floor like he expected, immediately vanished as if it was never there in the first place.
"Oh shit! It just disappeared shifting back into the neutral energy of the world around me, I don't even directly get it back. What loyalty."