PRESENT
"Are you finally going to date him?"
I chuckle at my best friend's, Uno's, remarks as I get dressed for the event. This guy really has to bother me just because he can and he's already finished getting ready. I only teased him about being too excited to see Miss Jihan again and now the situation was easily turned to me.
Today is the kindergarten's book event where I am invited to read as a representative from the library. This is my very first time to attend such event and I really like the idea of this. Even though I haven't done this before, I know I'll enjoy this as much as I do things for children inside the court.
I dried my hair more with the towel on my head. "You're really quick to conclude things. I just told you, we're friends. Not simple business associates anymore but friends."
Of course, that made him grin more. Damn this guy. "Yeah, friends my ass. You like that guy and I'm sure being friends now will not be enough for you in the long run."
It's my turn to grin. "So, this is exactly why you're moving all too fast with your situation with Miss Jihan, huh?"
Not even planning on denying anything, he even wiggles his eyebrows playfully but then immediately turned to become the whipped guy he is. "Ah, dang it! Jihan is just the most amazing woman I've met! She's fierce yet funny and—"
"Alright, alright, lover boy, you made your point." I couldn't really help but to laugh. "Just don't rush things too much."
I am finally done getting ready and now he places his arm around my shoulders as we go out of my unit. No, we're not living together but we're neighbors. His own unit is literally the one we just passed by, the one beside mine.
"Seriously though, Third, are you ever going to date Art?"
This time, I know there's no teasing in his question and it's simply a genuine question of curiosity. I sigh and then smile. "I don't really know if he'll ever want me like that."
Uno snorts. "Yeah, dumbass, as if that's the thing I asked for. I asked if you're ever going to date him, not asking whatever he is and will think about you in any way. Just answer the question."
For all the moments I got to spend with August... is it enough for me to have these feelings for him? Like how my bestfriend clearly see Jihan, I know how I see August in my own too.
He remains to be the only person to ever caught my attention like how he does it. He's the only one I found really interesting and it often catches me off guard. He makes me feel warm and I know there are already few times he makes me blush like a teenager, damn it. I really feel like a teenager going on through puberty and the stage of having first loves.
August is the only person who ever looked at me in the eyes like that.
Uno suddenly chuckles. "You know what, you really don't have to answer my question, Third. It's literally plastered on your face." He even pats my back. "I'm really proud of you."
A teenager going through the stage of first loves...
Have I ever really had my first love?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
All my life, the only thing that kept me going to look forward for tomorrow is the fact that I am waiting for my grandfather's journal to be found. Yes, I have my work that I genuinely love and enjoy. But the motivation of waiting for the unknown was really stronger compared to other things. I didn't even know if I'll ever meet the person who will find the journal, but it really kept me going.
For twenty years, it was my only goal. It was the only thing that mattered.
I did well in school—I did well in everything. All because I want to be the best that I am when I finally meet the person who I will accomplish my grandfather's last will with. I know I have to be the best that I can be.
Some would probably think that I've grown to be someone without a life just because my whole self is already revolving at something that isn't even mine. But that's not entirely true.
While the fact that I am motivated to love my life because I am waiting for someone to find the journal; I am also having the life that I can live as I want. I met people, made acquaintances and connections. I met Uno who became my bestfriend and brother. I had fun with the flings that I had.
Now with everything said, I guess having my first love is really out of the question because I never bothered looking for it nor even noticing if it ever came to me.
I never found someone whom I can consider my first love.
"Third to earth, come in. Third to earth, yoo-hoo!"
My line of deep thoughts has finally ended. "W-What?"
Uno flicks me on the forehead. "Come on, man, snap out of your daydreaming! We're here."
I really didn't notice that I was thinking too deeply all this time in the car ride. Good thing that Uno and I thought of having my driver instead of driving ourselves. Imagine us meeting an accident just because I wasn't mentally present, damn.
Uno nudges me on the side the moment we got out of the car. "What were thinking back there? I literally couldn't talk to you."
"I'm thinking if I ever had my first love."
"Woah, woah, for real?!"
I nodded. "Have you had yours?"
He grins. "Of course! Remember the girl from my first grade that I kept telling you about before?"
I can only shake my head with this guy's silliness.
"How about you? What did you conclude after that long thinking, Third? Did you have your first love?"
Just before I can even answer him, August came to us. Jihan is with him.
"Yuan, Uno! You guys made it! Right in time, we're just talking about you guys to the kids."
My heart... I thought I can only experience this whenever August would retell me what he read with the journal. But no—my heart is beating too hard on my chest right now and it's all because I came to see August again.
First love.
Who would've thought that after all these years—
���•••••••••
Jihan nudges me on the side. "You have to admit that Attorney Vincent is damn hot, you know?"
I chuckle and shake my head. "I'm not going to admit anything to you."
It's time for the library's segment and just like we planned, it will be Yuan who's going to read for the children on the library's behalf. We did a lot of preparations for this especially that we will have him—a prestigious person—in this event. We made sure that he wouldn't be bothered by unnecessary things such us media people who want a word with him.
I didn't really know the weight of having Yuan Vincent the Third in flesh and in public like this until we had to prepare everything in accordance to him.
The children were, to say the least, very excited to meet him. Not only because he's a well-known lawyer that many children aspire to become, he's also a good-looking man and the children are most of the time simple like that. They were excited to meet someone who can be an actor or model with his looks.
They can't even argue with that because they can see themselves the fascination of really having him to read for the children. Even the moms are in awe for him.
Just like what Ji said, Attorney Yuan Vincent the Third is hot but I would have the ground to swallow me up if I'll ever say that out loud. It's embarrassing to say the least that I think of him that way but he really is too good-looking right now.
With the casual clothes he's wearing, I only realized that I only see him in suits until now that saw him wearing a little oversized shirt and jeans. He can really pass to become a model.
Ji nudges me again and whispers, "even the lady teachers are gawking at your man."
Now, that just crossed the line and I can feel my face all red out of embarrassment. "Jihan!"
She giggles. "Goodness, Art, you're so adorable!"
This woman should really stop shipping me with Yuan because it's my heart who's suffering more from this. The mere thought of calling Yuan "my man" is enough to make me want to vanish to thin air! How can I even think of him that way?!
I just asked him to be my friend and there's literally no malice when I asked him that. I don't want him to misunderstood and think of me differently because of it. I don't want him to think that I'm taking advantage of him or something!
Damn, Ji really has the talent to make me overthink things like this!
But then the last entry from the journal dawned to me. The feeling that I felt the moment I read it. The feeling of foreignness with this new attraction.
I thought I will going to have such feeling when I read the journal—I didn't expect them to have them in real life like this.
I'm not going to deny how much I'm growing to like Sir Yuan—Yuan, I should call him Yuan even when I'm analyzing my own feelings. For all the moments that we had, it's not entirely wrong to have these feeling, right? Even with the shortest of times that you had with someone who caught your attention can result to this, right?
Whatever these are, I really don't know them yet. I just want to be friends with Yuan now because that's what matter to me most today.
Yuan's gaze fell to us.
I just said that I only want him as my friend. So, why is my heart beating hard like this again?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Thank you for inviting me here, August."
I smile at Yuan and hands him the bottle of cold juice. His reading session just ended and after accepting all the greeting from the parents and teachers, he finally had the chance to sit down. It was supposed to be Ma'am Dorothy who'll bring him his snacks but, of course, Ji already arranged things as to what she wants to happen.
"It's the everyone's idea to have you here, Yuan." I sat down with him here on the bench, overlooking the children playing. "I should really be the one thanking you for coming here."
He chuckles. "I already thanked everyone else, August. Just please accept my thanks to you."
I grin and shake my head. "Okay, I accept it since you already thanked everyone else."
"If it was anyone else, I don't think I'd be here."
I must have misheard what he said because damn it, my heart sure knows how to beat hard against my chest with those simple words. "C-Come again?"
He grins and takes another sip of his juice before facing me. "You shouldn't credit yourself less, August. You were the one who brought me here and I'm glad to experience this because of you. I don't mind whoever's idea this is, what I care about most is that you were the one who asked me to be here with you... with you guys, I mean."
He looks away even before I could say anything and I just ended up laughing. If someone is hearing our conversation right now, for sure they'll think we're a mess for still being this awkward.
I also noticed how red his ears right now and I don't want to put any meaning to it; but I really find it cute. I guess I'm not the only one.
I cleared my throat to have his attention again. "I-If there's something I can do in return for you being here, don't hesitate to tell me."
Like a child presented with a new toy, his smile is so bright that it is actually contagious. "Really?"
Calm down, heart, calm down. "Yes, Yuan, really. Really-really."
He laughs and I swear hearing him laugh like this makes my heart happy.
"I was meaning to ask you to come with me but I thought you'd be uncomfortable when I do so. It was harder than I thought but since you put things this way..." Yuan really looks like a happy kid. "Will you come with me to a party?"
In a party with Yuan, to be seen publicly with Yuan...
"O-Okay."
"Yes! I'm so happy—"
Before he could finish his sentence, children were already shouting for a ball coming too fast in our direction that it was about to hit me. I immediately closed my eyes and waited for impact of the ball on my face but to my surprise—no ball came.
Instead of the impact the ball, all I can feel is a hard and fast beating of a heart against a chest—against Yuan's chest. I'm against Yuan's chest.
"Are you okay?"
I looked up and meet his worried eyes.
Am I okay? I am—I just don't know until when.