They call me a bitch—a total one. People hate me, but did they ever ask if I liked them? Hell, I don't even care about them. Sure, a few pretend to love me, but it's all fake. No one truly loves me. No one treats me like I'm precious. They only come to me when they need something.
Sometimes I wonder, why doesn't anybody love me? Why doesn't even one person believe in me? Why didn't anyone stay real with me? What's wrong with me? I am mature, rich and wise. What else am I lacking?
These are questions I can't answer.
Some people say that no one loves me because I have a bad attitude, that I'm "slut."
So, I decided to live up to their expectations. They called me smart, so I excelled in school. They called me a bitch, so I became one. I bullied everyone—kids, boys, anyone who dared look at me wrong. I lashed out because I was hurting.
Then everything changed when I met the love of my life, Jed Adam. He showed me love and affection. He showed me that he cared for me. He became my family. He was the only one I loved and trusted. I even bought him a car. I gave myself to him every night. I gave him whatever he wanted just to keep him by my side.
Yeah, I knew he was a playboy. People said he was just using me. But I didn't care. I loved him so much, and he was the only one I had.
One day, I thought everything was fine. My friends were even talking to me. I was among the top students. But when I entered the school, everyone treated me like an idiot. My so-called friends turned their backs on me. All because of that fucking video. I didn't know he was recording us every time we were together.
"It's disgusting."
"No dignity."
"She thinks she's special."
"Slut"
"Whore."
These were the words I heard from my classmates that day. I looked for Jed. And there he was, with someone else. And do you know what's funny?
He was using my car.
"Fuck you! How dare you use me?!" I screamed, my heart breaking. "I'm so tired of you! I trusted you! Why? Why?"
"You know why?" he sneered. "Because you are just trash. Disposable. After using it, you throw it away." The girl beside him laughed, and I couldn't hold back anymore. I lunged at him, hitting him. He just wiped his face and laughed again.
"Thanks for the car," he said smugly. "It's already in my name. Thanks, babe." he got in the car and left.
I looked around. Everyone was staring. Some were laughing. I felt my shoulders sag under the weight of their judgment. I wanted to disappear.
"Let's get you home," someone said with a gently voice. I didn't refuse.
When we got home, the person who drove me helped me inside. I didn't know her, but at that moment, she were my lifeline.
"Do you want me to come in?"she asked. I just shook my head.
"Thanks for the ride," I said, turning away.
"Wait, can I get your number? So, I can check on you? If you need anything?" she offered. I handed her a business card from my wallet.
"Oh, you're the future CEO of Jimenez Shipping Line?" she remarked, surprised. I didn't respond. I just went inside.
When I entered my room, I noticed my drawer was open. I rushed over and found some of my jewelry missing. I ran downstairs and questioned the maids. They said Jed had been there.
I felt the last bit of strength leave me. Why I need to be punished forever? But I wiped away my tears. Jed wasn't worth my tears.
All I wanted right now was to die and see my parents and siblings again. I wanted them to comfort me.
I was tired, so tired of pretending to be strong. I was exhausted by this life.
I wished I had died instead of my family. I wish I had never been born at all.