I decided to go on the balcony of his room living the dark blue theme of his bed and even his study area, as I slid the sliding door glass as I went to this balcony area of his room and it made me surprised that he is literally here, it made me surprised at what he is doing right now.
Since it was already going evening and It take me fifteen minutes earlier to realize that I need to talk to my brother, the night caught up with me so I thought that he was already sleeping.
Sitting on the sofa, designated to be here on this balcony area of his room and from here, you can have the full view of the night sky and feel the breeze of the sea, but not that cold since we are not that near from the sea.
I stared at him who is staring at the dark sky that consists of the bright moon and those billion stars who are shining even though they are so small to be seen if you are not using a telescope.
I noticed that his arms were lying on the back of the sofa and his body was leaning on the dark blue sofa too, he was really into dark colors or dark things huh?
While staring, he is holding a wine which is a whisky specifically and he doesn't even use a chaser! Uh this hard drinker jerk brother of mine! And he really looks wasted.
I saw another bottle of another brand and kind of wine in the round table, so he has been drinking since they arrived then? He is in trouble. My gosh.
I walked on the sofa and I sat beside him and I didn't speak saying, "hey" he will still notice that his younger sister was already here, watching him being lost.
"What are you doing here?" He asked and based on his tone, he looked irritated that I'm here next to him.
Tss, what am I doing here? Hey my dumbass brother, I'm here to help you!!
I said but I just kept it in my mind only because he might drive me away from his room or he will answer me with a sarcastic answer knowing us, we are all sarcastic in our family tree and we will just end up arguing so I just stared at the dark but beautiful sky.
"Hey, my very handsome older brother," I said as I praised him but I do this rarely, but they always tell me with Buz that I am beautiful which made my confidence increase.
"I know, you had a problem. Because based on your situation right now, I know something is up so, what is it?" I asked him to be soft and for him to find me comfortable to talk to.
But he just laughed weakly and he shook his head before saying, "Na ah, I can handle this. Don't mind me." He said using his authoritative tone like he is screaming that he is superior to me.
"Handle?" I asked with a surprise tone. "My precious brother Lick, look at yourself. You are already a mess," I exclaimed as I pointed out himself.
"Where is my smartass Pilot brother already huh?" I continued speaking as I stared at him who lowered his gaze from looking up at the sky earlier.
"I know that I am a mess right now. And your pilot brother?" He asked before he sighed and continued to speak, "He is already tired, baby" he said and I caressed his face.
My poor older brother.
"Then we are here, we are always here. Let us and let me help you." I said trying to convince him but he just shook his head like he doesn't have any choice or chance already.
"My dear cute and beautiful sister," he said softly as he is already staring back at me. "I know you want to help your brother and ease the pain he is experiencing right now but, can you please go out to my room and give your brother a self time?"
He pleaded and I felt hurt by his words that he wanted me to leave his room. I am aware that I am kind or sort of a brat type teenager but I know how to help. And I knew what he felt right now so I would not give up on him.
"Huh? Me? You mean, you want me to leave already? Are you sure? Hahah," I said, which made him look at me like I was one of a rare species.
"I won't leave until you didn't said what is your fucking problem and what do you feel right now because I am fucking worried. Come one, Buz was still out and you only have me right now, I am here."
I said and he glared at me which I don't know why? Why is he glaring at me now? Like I did a big crime or a sin which made me deserve the death glares?
"Careful with your words young lady," he said as he was laying his legs already in the round table and since he is freaking tall, his foot overflowed in the table wearing his slacks and I noticed that was still wearing his usual dress shirt if his schedule is on the company.
But wait, so his issues why he is glaring at me is because I cussed? Goodness gracious with this guy.
"Yeah right, so what's the matter?" I asked again and he sighed deeply.
"Lei, you are still so very young to understand what I am feeling right now honey," he uttered which made my eyes roll because of his statement.
The nerve of this wasted guy said that to me.
"You are now discriminating against me then on my capability of my feelings right now," I said too with an accusing tone.
"It's not that," he immediately answered me. "It's just, I don't want you to get involved in what is bothering or bothering my mind baby."
He said and I breathe deeply and I hold his hands to show that I am here for him.
"Captain Lick, I will surely get involved with you because in your state right now, My conscience can not be calm knowing that you are not okay and seeing you like this made my heart broken," I said while looking at him.
"Your brother was sorry for than then, honey but it's just that I don't know how to start."
He explained trying to not hurt my feelings too, maybe? Because he doesn't know how to express his feelings? Uh he is really like Dad sometimes.
"Then tell me what you felt right now," I said, urging him to tell what he feels right now because I am worried, our parents are worried and Buz is clueless about his situation right now.
Many people are depending on him, on the company, on his building an airline empire, and he needs to take himself to be fine but not in a forceful way.
"What I am feeling right now?" He said as he lowered his eyes and sighed deeply. "Well, the feeling that I had known is that it's like betrayal?"
He said as he parted his lips and he looked away and after putting the bottle of whisky in the round table and he fixed the position of his foot.
"Kind of insecure because all this time, I thought I am doing my best for me, to be enough already, but if things really are not destined for you then it's not because you will never be enough."
He uttered those words with a sadness written on his face as he was looking afar, and I can feel how sad he is based on his facial expression and his voice. I can't believe that this might brother of mine was being insecure now.
If Buz is the one he is talking to right now here, maybe they'll secretly smoke cigarettes again and they'll try their best to not be caught by Mom because it is their habit that if they are frustrated, then tend to smoke which I hated.
Alcohol is fine already but why will cigarettes still be needed?
"You knew that I loved Ely right?" He asked and just by saying that girl's name, I have a slight idea now why he is feeling that thing right now.
"For almost three years, I have loved her and no one anything else, if there is a problem, I immediately think of a perfect way to have a solution to that or to solve that. If she needs something, I gladly gave it to her even if it conquers the world. And I can feel her true love too, but I don't know if it is really 'true love'."
He said, and I confirmed. My brother Lick is a broken man right now. And it is my first time to see him like a loses and weak man but his aura still screams supremacy.