"I understand that you want to take care of me, Sylvie. But you should find your happiness too." My mom, Autumn, keeps telling me.
I looked at her with sadness in my eyes "Mom, you're my happiness"
She smiles and then holds my hand "I know, Sylvie. But I'm not here for you forever. Tomorrow, next week, next month, next year maybe I'm now with you already. We don't know how long can we live.
"Mom, don't say that! I can live without a man, just you." My tears slowly fell on what she said.
She wiped my tears "Nothing stays forever, Sylvie. Always remember that." I hugged her. Her words are really in my mind.
"I know that, mom. If we are destined for each other, destiny will find a way to make us together. But now, I should be with you first" I kissed her in her right cheeks.
She pinched my nose "You're so sweet, darling" she hold my hand again "Always remember, Sylvie. When I'm no longer beside you, don't think that it's your fault."
I nodded while listening to her. She spread her arms wide, waiting for my hug. I do hug her. No one can replace this feeling when I'm with my mom. She is my biggest treasure.
"If you still don't want to talk to him, then don't. Even if you and Zayden don't have a relationship, I know you still like each other. That's why I like Zayden to be here." I smile but I hide it.
"I guess I can't keep a secret from you" I laughed.
She chuckled "You're right, darling" I can feel her confidence while saying those.
I went to my room to finish my report because I needed to submit it by tomorrow. I type all of the important this that are written on the sheets. I finished it in 4 hours! I'm tired so I plan to get rest.
The next thing I knew, I was at the Massaging place in the mall. I think my back hurts because of working. I was seating with my laptop in front of me for four freaking hours! "Half body or Whole body, Ms?" the staff on the massaging place ask me.
I was thinking about what I want. After thinking for a second, I decided to pick the whole body. I think I really need a whole body massage. I was about to go to the room when I saw someone familiar to me. A boy that I have repelled. I don't think he saw me but I know it's Zayden.
I lay down on the bed and the massager starts to massage my body. It feels good, that is why I sleep. I don't know how long does it take before it ends. But when I woke up, I saw Zayden on the chair near the other chair with his usual suit, gray v neck shirt and a jeans.
I was about to go out when someone pulled my wrist. I turn my gaze to him "Why?" I asked coldly. I didn't expect him to do that.
"Can we talk?" he asked with his gruff voice.
He was still holding my wrist so It would not be hard for him to pull me to the place he wanted to go. I don't even agree with him!
I was waiting for him to speak "Why are you being like this?" He slowly stepping closer to me that is why I am stepping back. "I don't remember doing wrong" he mumbles. It is not you who has a problem, it is me. For me, you are making a move really fast to the point that I feel like I am that kind of girl who doesn't know how to wait.
"It's nothing" I can't even spill the words. I can only say it on my mind. He put his hand on the wall. I froze for a bit but I make sure that it will not affect me, my feelings.
"It's nothing" he imitates how I said. "You can't fool me, Sylvie," he said like he was so confident about that.
I don't know him that much. I never met his family. I never confess my feelings toward him. Just because of the incident that happens to my mom. It's not a little thing for me, because it's my mom. No one can replace her. One of my reasons is because of what I have promised to my mom. That I will take care of her no matter what happens.
"I need to go home," I said then walked out. Yes, I know we are nothing. I am aware of that. That is why I'm doing this early. I want to know him more, but not in this kind of situation. When I am still not fix because of my father.
Whenever I saw a man, I can't help but to think that, that man will do the same to me. That he is not a good person. That he will hurt me and my mother. I don't want to experience that nightmare again. I want to wake up to a new day and not just stay on that kind of mindset. But my kind won't cooperate with me.
I'm now here in the elevator, trying to hide my emotion. I feel weak for not facing my problems in my self. I feel weak for not facing what I have fear. Fear to be closed in one person. I hate my father for making me this weak. But I hate my self more for not fighting my weaknesses.
I hope one day, I will finally wake up in this kind of dream. When I can see the true beauty of waking up. When I can open my eyes to the true things like someone is making me feel. I hope he will still wait until that time come. So both of us can be happy. Because I think, it will not be easy for me to accept the fact that not all of the man is like my father. Not all of the man that I know will hurt me.