I woke up late as fuck and walked to the table for some motherfuckin' toast, T-bro and Scar-bro were chatting about something and eating, as I walked over to the toaster to put some motherfucking bread in there I heard some weird shit outside the room, like some sorta metallic scraping on the floor. As I was bouta check that shit out, the toaster finished so I sat the fuck down and ate the fuck outta that toast ass toast. After finishing the toast the sound was fucking gone. We all got up and went out the door, as we walked down the rickety ass stairs I fuckin tripped and almost fucking died, but instead T-bro caught my ass. He was all like "Bro watch your step, you almost got fucking murdered by a flight of stairs." We all laughed and continued out the shitty hotel doors.
As we walked out onto the sidewalk I saw some motherfucking hag getting her purse stolen, as I ran over to help out she had already drop-kicked the fucker into a brick wall. Sad I couldn't help beat the shit out of the hag I walked away, but as I motherfucking expected, the hag was all like, "You sonny, come 'ere, the goonies boss, Goonman, is creating a ruckus. Could you please go kick his ass for me?" Before I could refuse we were already on our fucking way, apparently T-bro and Scar-bro are on good terms with the elderly so they wanted to help in any fucking way they could.
As we walked down the street towards the Goonies main ass headquarters I made some chit-ass-chat with the bros, I asked, "So scar-bro what the fuck do you do?" Scar bro was like, "I don't know, I just kinda live y'know?" I asked another motherfuckin' question, "So do you have any favorite activity then?" He responded after a few motherfuckin' moments of thought, "Yeah I do like eating, but now that I'm a fucking ghost I can't really do that anymore." I responded with an apt "neat." and we arrived at the Goon-quarters.
I kick-flipped down the motherfucking door and looked around, after spotting a door with "Definately not the fucking elevator" plastered on it, I walked the fuck over and clicked the big-ass red button that said elevator on it. After about 10 seconds the door opened, we all went in and I clicked the button for the top floor. But instead of going up like I fucking told it too, it went straight fucking down, reeeeaaally fast. I looked at the button I clicked and realized I accidentally clicked "Hell" instead of "Top floor, definately not where Goonman is" as we plummeted to the abyss I threw up and then did a kcik-flip, which is like a kick-flip but backwards.
After performing the cikc-flip we flew up into the main room we came from, basically we traveled back in fucking time. Although only we did, so no elevator. I guess elevators are just fucked. After nearly dying *again*, we exited the building and I just kick-flipped up to the top floor. After breaking through the window, I came face to face with Goonman. I quickly threw a pepperoni I had in my pocket at him, he ate it. I threw a framed picture of his family at him. He fuckin' ate that too. I kept throwing shit and he kept eating it and becoming larger. After throwing a considerable amount of random shit at him he was bigger than most of the buildings in the city. He let out a kaiju ass sounding ass scream before he started wreaking havoc on the city.
I quickly had T-bro ani-morph into T-rex form before fighting the beast. I pulled out my cool ass laser crossbow and shot the fucker a bunch, I aimed for his motherfuckin' eyes, and before long I realized it wasn't working. I quickly had T-bro ani-morph back into T-board. I did consecutive kick-flips to gain considerable distance from the hulking man, I quickly stopped the board, turned back towards the city. I asked Scar-bro to get on the ground and use his arm so I could do a sick-nasty grind. He asked if it would motherfuckin' hurt and I lied and said no. He got down and I initiated the grind. T-bro immediately started charging all of the energy from the grind into his thrusters.
After about 5 seconds Scar bro yelled out in pain. T-bro released all of the energy into his thruster jets. As we sped towards the city, I prepared to do a drop-kick, we got within distance of the beast and T-bro said to me, "I have an idea, I still have a lot of energy left." He then ani-morphed into boots and I prepared my drop-kick, as we impacted with Goonman, T-bro released all of his energy into a giant explosion. After the dropkick I woke up in some rubble about 300 Kilos away, out of city limits by far. As I got up I looked around for the city and saw the city, well, part of the city, a good quarter of it was fucking atomized. As I got up T-bro, who I had just realized was next to me in T-rex form, was pretty wounded and said, "Bro, we managed to kill Goonman, but me and Scar-bro are pretty badly hurt. You seem to be mostly fine though so would you mind carrying us back to city limits?" As he humbly requested me to help them back he ani-morphed into board mode and passed out. I carried them both back to the city, where I tended to them until night, I booked a shitty hotel and passed the fuck out.