A tear escaped from my eye and he cleaned it with his fingers as he smiled. He pulled my chin up and pressed his lips against mine.
Drawn into the kiss, I closed my eyes savoring the feeling of him against me.
Despite having us kiss not so long ago, I had already forgotten how good it felt.
The more we did it, the more it became new and I realised I won't ever get enough of him.
Even with just seconds away, my brain seemed to have forgotten how safe I feel with him around me.
I completely forgot how loved he made me feel whenever we were together.
I tossed my head to the otherwise and he did the same giving us a second to breathe.
Throughout the whole experience, my conscious kept telling me I don't deserve him.
He was giving his all just to be with me and on the other hand I was hurting him.
I hated myself for ever saying no to him.
I'd never wish for that to happen and I prayed for him to forgive me.
Dating Carlos would pose as a distraction and in a second almost all the demons would know and devise a plan to attack him.
My father would have him assassinated in a blink and I'd be left alone with the regret of it all.
I wouldn't handle the pain.
I couldn't.
I wasn't that strong.
I lost my mother and she was enough.
He had nothing to do with all this and I wasn't going to have him involved.
I cried as I imagined it.
I got so scared and I thought I was on the verge of death itself.
In that moment, I realised nothing mattered but me and Carlos. I didn't care about anything else. I didn't want to THINK about anything else.
Nothing else mattered.
I just wanted to think about how good it felt to have his lips on mine and his body squeezing mine.
I didn't want to ruin the moment and push him away but instead dive into it and wish to stay like that forever.
Having returned home, I felt my phone vibrate and after I took it out, I found a text from an unknown number.
I smiled knowing who it was exactly.
I walked out of the car and rushed to my room locking the door after me.
I immediately dialed it back and hoped he'd pick.
And he did, on the second ring.
"Miss me??" I started and threw myself on the bed.
"Did you really have to ask...." he let out a sigh and I found myself smiling.
"How about you come to my house tomorrow, I have something I must show you....."
"W-What????" he stammered.
"You heard me...." I replied in a more stunned tone.
He must've think I'd gone insane.
"You sure about this??" he confirmed and I loved just that about him.
"Yeah am sure.....You've been here before, remember???"
"Yeah I remember....." he gave his reply and I had a feeling that statement was incomplete.
There was more he wanted to say but he wasn't saying it.
Maybe because I didn't give him a reply and indirectly turned him down he felt the need to keep his distance with me.
I'd totally understand if that was the case.
I totally would.
I didn't say a word and neither did he. We stayed silent and listened to each others breaths with me hoping he'd say something amazing.
"What time should I be there???" he asked and a smile broadened on my face.
"Night time....after dark...."
"You do know what happens in the dark is always dangerous....." he joked and I fell flat laughing.
Getting to know Carlos was a beautiful thing that happened to me.
I loved being around him and everything about him.
Since that day at the gym, I couldn't stop thinking about him and I loved every single moment I spent with him.
Asides from my family that drove me insane, he maintained my sanity and I thanked him big for that.
Tossing my body to the other side, I smiled when I remembered what happened that night at Carlos's.
I didn't believe I actually lied to my dad that I was going to the mall and he just let me go.
Did he maybe know I was lying and let me live with it? Or maybe he actually believed me?
I didn't care.
Richie adviced me that I don't be gone for too long and we decided to be gone for fifteen minutes at least.
Unfortunately, the adamant Carlos wouldn't let me go and coaxing me to stay, he kept slamming his lips on mine.
He knew exactly how I felt about it and he used it to his own advantage.
A smile bloomed in my face and I looked at the time on my phone. 02:45am.
Fighting my body and forcing it to sleep was more difficult than I thought.
Thoughts of Carlos kept haunting me and I decided to do one thing at a time.
I walked to my window and opened the curtains, getting a clearer view of the city.
A calm breeze blew gently against my face and I loved just the feel of it. It felt like I was holding onto Carlos and inhaling his masculine mask.
He didn't use perfume but still nailed it and smelled nice.
I looked back in and walked to my dressing table. Looking at my face, I realised I hadn't been this happy in a while.
This whole experience reminded me of when I was with my mom. She was the only person I felt comfortable with and loved so much.
She loved to touch my golden hair and ran my fingers in it.
She adores my blue eyes and each time I looked at hers, I felt beautiful.
Knowing that I had to wear eye lenses and dying my hair was a very hard thing for me to accept.
It felt like denouncing myself and accepting a whole different person as my own.
Worst came to worst when I had to maintain my black wardrobe.
Pink was my colour and I loved it so much. ml
I used to be a pretty pink Princess but after the whole sham that happened with my family, I turned into a black widow.
So much for a life.
"Good morning ma'am...." Anila's voice woke me up and I turned around to look at her. I didn't reply.
I just sat up and fixed my gaze with her.
"The master has requested your presence to join him for breakfast...." she bowed and I got up from my seat.
I wore my wardrobe and followed her out to the dining.
As I descended, I noticed my dad looking at me as though he noticed I'd been lying.
I boosted my stance as I walked as though I was parading down a runway.
"Welcome my dear", he smiled and I smiled back.
"Thanks dad....."
"What have you been up to? Where were you last night??" he asked drinking his coffee.
"I haven't been up to anything.....", I chuckled. I looked around for Richie to see if he told my dad anything. I wouldn't want to tell a different story and cause a ruckus.
I spied around and he was nowhere to be seen. I swallowed when I saw my dad looking at me. He raised his eyebrows questioningly at me and I mirrored his expression.
Anila walked in and placed my plate just in front of my seat. I was having cereal for breakfast in a very long time. My entire life is struggled with my weight and when I turned thirteen, I decided to be on a forever diet.
No meat, no carbs, just vegetables and in minimal amounts too.
"What up? you don't eat cereal...." he asked and I smiled. Last night, Carlos said he loves cornflakes and I decided to give them a try.
"Uh...nothing much...I just thought I'd try something new....." I smiled as I shoved a spoon into my mouth.
I closed my eyes and smiled as I swallowed it.
I had forgotten how good it felt to eat such foods.
As a child, I loved cereal so much but when my weight disorder came in I lost myself in getting a small body forgetting I was a person too.
"Am going out this weekend...."
"Again?" a frustrated me asked although deep down I was excited.
Finally, Carlos would come over and we wouldn't have to worry about my dad's curiosity regarding who he is.
"Yes....I think we're going to have to move. I need to have our house in Cheong Pyeong renovated so I'll need to be there...."
"How am I supposed to do my school from Korea?"
"You've never had a problem with it this entire time. What's changed?" he asked and from his tone I could tell he knew something.
Did he find out about me and Carlos?
"Umm....I mean....sure....that's ....that's fine....", I smiled and shoved another spoon into my mouth. He got up from his seat and ran his fingers into my hair.
He kissed my head and whispered. "That's more like it...."
I watched as he walked away and I felt my eyes water.
For the first time I felt like I belonged to this place and now we were moving.
It felt like a dream when I got to know Isha and Aurelia. Despite it being for a short period of time, I was happy that I came across them.
Meeting Carlos was beautiful too and knowing that I was going to be leaving soon was a pain.
I was sad.
I walked out of the dining room and went up to my room.
I threw myself on my bed and stuffed a pillow into my face. I was dying a slow death and each step was hurting so much.
My whole body was in pain and there was nothing I'd do about it.
Nothing...