I insisted on bringing my hat despite Carlos telling me it wouldn't be necessary in a movie theatre.
When we arrived, he invited me to go have popcorn with him and I declined his offer.
I had never been in public before and being there now felt so terrible.
I was nervous and scared as I looked around. Everyone was looking at me and I got frightened. Someone had the nerve to approach me and ask for a picture. She said she loved my style and when I turned her down, she gave me the judgement eye. That wasn't good....
She went over to her friends and she started pointing fingers at me. I became scared. Tears glistened in my eyes. Where was Carlos?? Why was he taking too long??
It was after dark already and I was home late. Yet again....I immediately called my dad and told him to come and pick me up. I couldn't anymore. Carlos was not to be trusted...
I walked down to the first storey were the carpack was but no sign of my dad's car. I didn't stay any longer. It was dark and definitely a fertile ground for someone to jump and catch me.
When I went back up, the place was crowded. A lot of people were coming to the theatre and I was getting intimidated. My heart was racing and bygod, I was frightened. The crazy fan of my wardrobe was standing in a corner and still looking at me. She had her phone held up and I knew she was taking shots of me.
I got mad. I looked around her and figured those around her were doing the same. Oh
No....no....no...no...I hurried my face in my hands and started to think of what to do.
If I had it upto me I would've left already but I couldn't. I couldn't walk alone to anywhere no matter the distance to and fro home. Even if it was five minutes close, I was still in danger. I opened my eyes, looking out for Carlos but he wasn't here...
Worst still, not just one but two, three four times the fans were now taking my picture. Everyone had their phone clicking and flashing up against me. I was infuriated and lost...why....why oh why...? Carlos was the cause of all this.....he alone was.
I gathered my guts and went over to the girl and grabbed her phone smashing it against the ground. I wanted to do the same for the other teens but instead, they only held their phones higher--out of my reach and booed at me. They screamed and called me names. They laughed at me and pointed their fingers.
God this was humiliating.
I cried. I had my face in my hands, my knees on the floor and cried. My heartached and I wished I'd just stayed at home. None of this would be happened. Then, like a dream, I felt an arm on my shoulder which I quickly dusted off in fear.
"Relax.... it's me....",Carlos whispered as he stared at me. I fummed. I saw he got the popcorn he wanted.
"I got the popcorn....",he grinned but I didn't. I snatched it from him and threw it against the floor scattering it all.
"They're laughing at me and all you care about is the popcorn?",I asked angrily. "You left me...",I screamed and buried my face on his chest, smaking him too with my tiny fists.
"I told you I can't be seen in public, I can't go to a fancy dinner in some restaurant, I can't go shopping, I can't take pictures, I can't go to the movies but you were too keen to do it. And when I came, you left me Carlos....",
"But you said you didn't want to go inside and you'll wait out here..",
"How could you leave me alone Carlos...?? I told you not to leave me alone! They harassed me. They took pictures of me Carlos...they have pictures of ME in their phones and that's a very bad thing for me....",I wept as I explained to him.
"Am sorry....",
"I warned you Carlos...I told you you're mad to get involved with me. My life's complicated and I wouldn't want yours complicated because of me...let's end this right here and now....",I said to his face and walked towards the exit but he held me back. By then, we caught everyone's attention like we were the live movie shooting.
"I apologized Jenny...didn't I?" He asked holding my hands in his but I quickly took them off.
"Go away! You left me alone. I told you I feel safe when am holding your hand but you didn't allow me to. Then you bring me in public even after I protested and abandoned me...you don't love me!!! You don't care about me! Go away from me!!",I screamed.
"I won't!",he screamed back and his strong mortal muscles pulled me toward him. I was angry and breathing heat. I didn't want to see his face or be anywhere near him. I pushed him away with my elbows positioned against his chest but his grip on me was too strong.
"Let me go....",I fluttered in his arms causing him to raise his voice.
"Listen!!!",he screamed. I didn't causing him to scream again. "Jenny!! Listen to me!!!.."
"Am here now...." He stared at me and I did the same. I was panting no less than he was. Tears were streaming down my face and I still looked into his blue eyes through it all. I blinked and got another river down my cheeks and making my vision clearer. It was then when I realized his forehead was resting low against mine.
"Shhhh....am here now....", He whispered and put his finger on my lips. Unlike before, this time I had my eyes widened and for the first time, I felt butterflies in my stomach. I still stared into his eyes and watched as his thumbs cleared my cheeks of their wetness.
I felt calm and relaxed....
"Don't ever ask me to go away from you.... Don't ever!!", He commanded in the don't--argue tone and I found myself nodding. My hands were on the sides of his head running deep in his hair and breathed him in.
"I love you Jenny....",he murmured. His lips touching my pinna, giving me tingling sensations and causing me to jerk and let out a moan as chivers ran down my spine. I found my arms cringed onto his chest pulling against his shirt. My legs felt weak like I'd lost them and I thought I was going to fall...
Then, irrespective of the surrounding, Carlos, in the next second, slammed his lips against mine. He paused and waited for me. Yes. He waited for my dumb brain to come round to the fact that it was now kissing time.
I wanted to draw him away but I didn't...I couldn't...
My body had activated no retreat, no surrender mode and I couldn't do anything about it...only one thing in the list...
My hands slowly let go of his shirt and caressed his chest instead. Then, I woke from the sleep-- trans like state and when I realised Carlos was losing me, I kissed him back. With fervour, and passion and hunger.
After our hangout in my dad's hot tub, we didn't really meet again; that is long enough to cost a kiss and I must say, I missed Carlos' kisses. He kisses good, gently and passionately. He sure knew how to make me happy.
I completely forgot that I was angry a few seconds ago and now all my anger was motioned into the kiss. We continued with the kiss. Again and again. Kept turning and turning, switching sides. My hat fell off my head exposing my hair and part of my face. I was about to grab it when Carlos held my hand and directed its course into his hair.
I didn't even notice we were moving until we hit a wall. My back hit a hard surface and we stopped moving but not kissing. Carlos was still kissing me and I didn't in anyway want him to stop. We were in public. And I didn't care anymore...I only cared about Carlos.
Now to think of it, I was being rather selfish. My insecurities were hindering him too and I wasn't happy with that. I had told him several times to leave me but he didn't want to...I told him how dangerous it was to associate with me but despite the fact that he knew nothing, he didn't want to. I tried to explain to him what a heavy risk he got in by dating me and he didn't listen...
I was impressed. I had finally found someone more stubborn than stubborn. Just like my father...
Carlos and I were still deep in our lovey-dovey kiss when we began hearing noises from the background.
"Carlos...",I chocked out, murmuring against his lips.
"Shhh",was all he could say before closing the gap between our faces once more. I was smiling at it. I didn't mind at first but the noise grew louder.
"Carlos...",I tapped his shoulder and breathed. He was resting his head on my chest and I could feel him breathing as his breaths bounced against my chest.
Just like that, he suddenly got up and took my hand, pressing it tightly against his midchest. I could feel his heart beat...
"Do you feel that???",he asked and I smiled. I looked at him and with a nodd or two.
"I can feel your heart.... it's beating....fast",I chuckled after saying the last part.
"For you.....My heart beats for you, Jennifer Gonzalez....",
He said it. He said it! He said it...
I stopped for a moment as my world was brought to a stand still.
"Don't ever ask me to go away from you, because I won't. Don't ever tell me to leave you, because I won't....and most importantly, don't ever doubt my love for you! It's genuine and more real than my fleeting breath right now....",he said in a tone that made me trust every word.
"When I say I love you, I want you to know that I mean it....",he assured me and it just opened the water tap in my eyes once more.
"Shhhh...",he did it again and attempted to wipe my tears but I pushed his hand off.
"Don't shush me!", I pointed my finger at him and he nodded in agreement and wiggled his eyebrows at me. I didn't notice his hands lower to my sides and start to tickle me. I giggled many times with my hands searching for his and drew them away. He rested me comfortably against the wall and I relaxed as I leaned my head back.
I looked at him and he looked back at me. I was standing between him and the wall, with his hands pinned against the concrete rampart on each side of my body. With his American height, he was towering over me and I loved the look in his eyes when he looked down at me.
Forgetting about the noise, I ran my hands all the way to his neck and smiled. He smiled back. I knew he was happy to see that I was in public with torn down walls; now bridges.... My eyes raided his face. From his eyes to his nose then his cheeks and then his lips.
I looked back to his eyes and he raised an eyebrow in the question scene. I clamped my lower lip between my teeth as my cheeks gathered some colour. I lowered my eyes and faked a Time Warp as I played with his buttons.
His forefinger, raised my chin and invited me into another smoochfest with I humbly honoured. This time, it wasn't long. A simple flick and we pulled apart. Apart into a heartwarming embrace and through it, I was looking behind him as he faced the wall.
My eyes widened the moment I did. The whole place was crowded with people murmuring and whispering things to each other. Then, after they figured we'd stopped making out, they started clapping and cheering and whistling. They sure watched a free romantic movie....
What have I done???
I thought as I looked at each and everyone of them. They were busy with their phones, taking pictures and recording videos of me and Carlos. My heart raced. After than before....I was scared again. Nervous and frightened to what would happen next.
Carlos sensed my body tense and he broke the hug apart, following my gaze to what kept me frozen. He quickly pulled my hoody over my head, covering my face.
But....I realised I had a change of heart....
Will you stop running away and face your ploblems for once in your life???
His question bounced in my brain. For once I agreed. I was tired. Tired of wearing a hat everywhere I go. Tired of having not to go to public restaurants. Tired of not going to the movies, tired of being so afraid to walk alone. Most importantly, I was tied of being alone....
I was exhausted of living the life of Rapunzel. I couldn't anymore. I wanted to have my self on the map and stop living in the shadows. I wanted to have my picture taken along with my boyfriend and post about us online. I wanted to have homemade food and stop ordering in fast food. I wanted to live a nanny-free life and get to do things on my own.
I wanted to go to highschool and forget about online learning. I wanted the feel of detention. The pressure of having to run to class. The heat in doing household chores. I wanted it all.
I wanted to make a place for myself in the world. I wanted to finally see the sun as I got tired of looking at the Moon. Worst still, from a window.
I wanted freedom....
And only I could give it to myself. For three years I had lived in imprisonment but meeting Carlos has showed me another side of life. The brighter side of it which I wasn't ready to let go of...
"Here....",Carlos said as he placed my hat onto my head, above my hoody. This guy was doing so much for me....I had to repay him..
"It's okay Carlos....",I said and took it off. I looked at him and slowly pushed the hoody off of my head. I wasn't Medusa to keep hiding my face. I wanted to be seen...
I felt a light breeze the moment I took my hoody off. I could feel a burden get lifted off of my shoulders and free to carry my light body around. I looked around and they all gasped to see my face.
"Are you sure about this???",Carlos asked completely concerned.
"Yes my love....yes am sure....",I pecked his cheek and crossed his hand with mine. "I told you I feel safe when am holding your hand....look?", I asked and he smiled when he noticed my hand holding his.
"Am not scared anymore....",I grinned and he returned it. Knowing that Carlos was here with me was the best assurance I needed in my life. As if in a dream, he bent his head and kissed me again.
What??
I responded warmly to his gesture and in a breath I broke us apart.
"We have a movie to watch....",I reminded.
"Yeah right!"
"Now let's go get some popcorn...",I winked and he gave me the killer smile I knew he had. He held my hand and together we headed for the route that lead to the popcorn booth.
The crowd was still cheering and clapping for us as we passed by and I felt proud of myself. I finally removed my mask and decided to be who I was. Jennifer Gonzalez. I'd never believed in fairytales, but this man—he is my prince, my future,my everything.
I squeezed Carlos' hands and he stopped. He must've known it was the 'emergency' squeeze and not the romantic one. I was frozen yet again and I could feel that I was toast.
He was in front of me...
Idris Gonzalez...aka my dad!