I lost consciousness for a minute but I forced myself to open my eyes. I need to see him! My eyes can't handle a clear vision but I managed to look around with blurry vision.
Ang tanging nakikita ko lang ay ang mukha niya sa itaas ng mga ulap, He's carrying me while he's flying. Tanging ang tunog lang ng paglipad ng pakpak niya ang naririnig ko kasabay ng pagtama ng pakpak niya sa malakas na hangin. It's cold but he's warm...
"Don't force your self..." He said.
Hindi ko maiwasan na mangulila kahit na kasama ko na siya, I know this won't last longer. Saglit lang ito.
"Saan mo ko dadalhin? Will you make me forget these?" I asked.
I won't turn a blind eye for this. I know he's using his power over me. May mga pangyayari na nakakalimutan ko sa kagagawan niya, tinatanggalan niya ako ng memorya. Para sa ikabubuti ko?
I don't think anyone should just erased my memory like that. Even if it's him, it happened for a reason, it's my memory we're talking about. No matter how painful or dangerous my memory is, it's still mine that nobody should be taken away.
Nanghihina ang buong katawan ko at kung hindi niya lang ako karga, mararamdam ko ang panlalambot ng buong katawan ko, halos hindi ko na maangat ang kamay ko para mahawakan siya pero pinilit ko na hawakan ang mukha niya. He might leave again after this.
"I won't erase this memory of yours, I want you to be fully aware of demons." I sighed. Sometimes, I hate how powerful he is. He just... can do everything for me. It's sometimes scary...
He could be merciless to protect me while I'm still clueless at what he did just because he think it's too dangerous for me when I deserve to know. But I trust him and his plans for me, he's keeping me safe. Ganito ang nangyayari dahil hindi ako marunong makinig sa kanya, siya na ilang bilyong taon niya na yata itong pinagdadaanan, ang makalaban ang mga demonyo, tapos hindi ko pakikinggan?
"Don't be scared...at saan mo nilagay ang kwintas na binigay ko? I told you before to keep it, It's a spell for you to be safe wherever you go..." Papagalitan niya lang ba ako? Hindi niya ba ako kakamustahin?
Sumilay ang malungkot niyang mga mata, I always hate it whenever his eyes shows a sign of sadness. It's a negative feeling that he shouldn't feel. I treasure his eyes so much, I'm hurting when his eyes are hurting too. His eyes is a clear reflection of what he feels.
"I'm sorry... I'm losing myself when I'm with you. I'm only scared of losing you, Calamity." Tumulo ang luha ko. Just admit it that you can't protect me because you prioritize your missions over me and go.
Nalulungkot ako sa iniisip ko. Here I am again with my selfishness.
"I'm sorry... I can't be with you yet. We have a top mission right now. It's an order from Above. But I promise you, this will end too... I promise you that you'll be safe even without me."
How could I be safe without him?
Mag-aantay nanaman ako na bumalik siya? Until when? I feel like there's no end to this... I feel like this will go on until forever.
"Archangels are planning something big... I have to be there, with my brothers. They need me, Cali. I can't leave them by themselves. I'm appointed to this that I can't escape. In order for this to end faster, I need to sacrifice our time for bigger things. I promise you this will be worth it. Just trust me on this... Please..." halos nagmamakaawa na sabi niya.
Nanginginig na hinawakan niya ang kamay ko. Sa sandaling iyon medyo natakot ako na baka sa nararamdaman niya ay mahulog niya ako. Pinagdikit niya ang noo niya sa noo ko, then he kissed me on my forehead, to my nose down to my lips.
"I need to obey before I disobey..."
Marahan niyang hinalikan nang paulit ulit ang labi ko. "I will miss you... I'm sure of that." Niyakap ko siya sa batok. God! I missed him so much!
"Saan tayo pupunta..." wala sa sarili kong tanong. Napaisip lang kasi ako kung paano ko siya na summon? I mean did I really summoned an Archangel like him? Siya ang nagsabi saakin na ang uri nila ang pinakamahirap na ipatawag.
"You didn't able to summon me. Our connection was real, I felt you're in trouble so I came forcefully." Forcefully? "Yes. Pinagbawalan ako na bumaba nang lupa sa ngayon."
"You didn't summoned me but you actually summoned another Archangel..." Talaga ba? Ibig sabihin gumana yung nakita ko? Isip ko. "Yes... but I guess I came first." Sagot niya na mukhang narinig niya sa utak ko.
What? Anong ibig sabihin? Akala niya ba kompetisyon ito at talagang nakipag unahan siya?
"Hmm... kind of. I missed you so I told him to back off." ngumisi siya. He's one of a hell evil archangel. At gusto ko rin makakita ng iba pang kauri niya, I like it! Gusto ko pang makita ang iba't ibang uri ng anghel.
"I won't disguise from now on. and am I not enough?" Ngumisi ako. I'd like that! Mas gusto ko siya sa kung ano siya. "What? You're kidding me right?" Imposibleng maisip niya na hindi siya sapat kung alam niya ang lahat saakin.
"Of course I'm kidding, you got no choice but to catch me anyways. I'll let you meet some of my brothers... well maybe soon?" Lumaki ang ngiti ko sa narinig.
"Hold your thoughts... I'm not an evil angel! I'm just doing him a favor."
Sakit talaga siya sa ulo lalo na dahil wala akong kawala sa mga iniisip ko.
"So... sino iyong natawag ko kung ganon? And you said it's hard to summon an Archangel?" He teased me with his soft kisses. "Yup! But I didn't say you have a connection with a certain angel."
Napairap ako sa putol putol niyang explanation.
"Easy..." He chuckled.
"I asked Raziel to keep an eye on you. He's my brother, an Archangel too. So you can either summon Raziel or me." Hmm... edi ayos!
"Where are we going?" Tanong ko. Kanina pa kami lumilipad at parang wala naman kami pupuntahan.
In a split second, I found the both of us in the middle of nowhere. Tanging karagatan lang na nasa ibaba namin dahil nasa ere parin kami, malakas ang daloy ng alon patungo sa puting buhangin habang may mukhang malambot na blanket sa pampang. There's a basket too, on the side of the blanket, a bonfire on the other side and another set of blanket.
Halos matawa ako sa nakita.
He's really old. Picnic really? sa dagat?
"I'm ageless!" Tumawa ako sa kanya at hinatak na siya papunta sa hinanda niya. Wala namang meron ngayon, hindi ko naman birthday, at wala naman siyang birthday.
Malamig ang hangin at hinihipan nito ang buhok ko na napupunta sa mukha ko. There's no people in here, para bang isang panaginip lamang itong pangyayari dahil walang tao at tanging kaming dalawa lang sa dagat na ito. It's like an undiscovered island in the middle of nowhere.
"You're right, It's an undiscovered Island. Do you like it?" Tumango ako. Nilapag niya ako sa blanket at naramdaman ko agad ang pantay na temperatura dahil sa pinaghalong lamig ng panahon at init na dala ng bonfire sa kanan namin.
Although I can't really appreciate the Island for now because it's dark. Hindi ko alam kung gaano kalinaw ang tubig. Tanging ang buhangin lang ang na a-appreciate ko dahil sa pino nito at sa kulay na puti. The view is like no other, It's like an endless sea. Nakakawala ng problema ang pagtama ng alon sa buhangin. Parang nawawala ang pagod na naramdaman ko kanina at napapalitan nito ng kalma ang puso't isipan ko.
Umupo si Zad sa tabi ko at nilapit niya ang sarili saakin. I don't know what is this for but I think I have an idea.
"I just want for us to treasure this moment before I go back in Heaven." Tumango ako sa kawalan. He covered my legs with another blanket while pushing me to his arms. Hinarap niya ang sarili niya saakin. He planted a soft kisses on my face while pulling me to him.
"I'm happiest with you... I hope you're aware of that." He booped my nose as I touched his arms. Nakaupo ako sa kandungan niya habang yakap yakap ko ang buong katawan niya.
"You make me feel enough, Zad. Your love fills me. I couldn't ask for more... just a little of your time." Magkadikit ang aming noo habang nag-aantay ako ng sasabihin niya. His arms embraced my waist. This is how we long for each other.
"My time is yours... I'm all yours."
It's painful to know that I'm the reason he's holding back. That I'm the only reason he's going back and forth from heaven to earth.
Na kailangan niya pang iwan panandalian ang mga kapatid niya para lang maalagaan ako, he even need to ask for a favor just to protect me. Only Heaven knows kung gaano sila ka busy. Hindi man halata pero may kanya kanya silang misyon at responsibilidad na kailangan nilang gawin.
Natatakot ako na umalis siya sa totoo lang, grabe ang takot na nararamdaman ko. Dahil hindi siya tao na kahit kailan ay pwedeng humalik, He's an Archangel that weighs a lot of responsibilities. He was tasked to complete a missions, not to babysit a human like me. Pwede siyang pigilan, iba ang mundo nila saamin, magkaiba ng kinahaharapan. Lahat saamin ay iba. He's supposed to be in heaven, he's supposed to stay there. Not here on earth. Hindi dito sa lupa na makasalanan. A righteous man like him do not belong in a sinful world.
Gusto ko man na maging pareho kami sa ibang bagay, ang tanging bagay lang yata na masasabi kong parehas kami ay ang katotohanang parehas kaming anak ng diyos. Masakit saakin na tanggapin ang kaibahan namin.
Literal na langit at lupa.
"Don't be scared... my little human. All celestial beings has their own free will, too. I don't know yet why did you came into my life, but you're my greatest gift from above. Our similarity is we both love each other, and I think, that's enough. There's nothing else that I could hope for, but to be loved by you truly."
Tears formed through my eyes. Parang binibiyak ang puso ko dahil pakiramdam ko ay pinagbibigyan ako ng diyos ngayon at kahit kailan ay pwede niyang pawiin ang masayang nararamdaman ko ngayon.
I don't want this to end, not ever. Hindi na ko humihiling pa ng kahit na ano, ayos na ako na si Haku, Kira at Leandra lang ang nasa tabi ko. Ayos na ayos na ako. Hindi na ako humihiling pa na mag-iba ang ihip ng hangin. Maaaring nangungulila ako sa pamilya at sa pagiging anak pero okay lang saakin.
Kung ang kapalit ay si Zad, I don't think I could hope for anything else.
He brushed his nose to mine, hinaplos niya ang pang ibabang labi ko.
"I adore you for having such simple wish yet your breakthroughs are about to come yet..." I innocently smiled at him and then I kissed him.
"Patience, human." Pinindot niya ang ilong ko. Sumimangot ako sa kanya. "Why? Is this forbidden too?" Pinagdikit niya ang katawan namin habang nakapatong ako sa kandungan niya, ang mga braso ko at naka pulupot sa batok niya, pinatong ko ang ulo ko sa balikat niya.
"All of this are forbidden, showing myself to you, talking to you, visiting you, protecting you, giving you signs, kissing you, all. But hell! I don't care. If breaking rules would lead me to my destruction, then i'll gladly accept it. I just want you. I need you."
One bad trait that I have is that I'm selfish. Simula noong makalaya ako sa pader nang pinanggalingan ko, natuto ako maging makasarili. That I deserve to be happy and I don't care about consequences as long as I'm having the time of my life.
"You're not selfish, human. You're just... simply lost." I didn't get what he said. Lost?
His naked body is keeping me feel warmer. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam ang maramdaman ang katawan niyang mainit.
Nilapit ko pa ang katawan ko sa kanya at hinalikan siya. His lips are soft and taste like heaven, literally. Hindi ko talaga maiwasan na mapangiti sa gitna ng mga halikan namin, parang nakatira ako sa panaginip.
At dahil magkaharap kaming dalawa, tanaw ko ang kagandahan ng mga mata niya. It is true that Angel's eyes cannot be compare to others.
I love him truly. I'm sure of that.
"I need you to love me harder, so that you could trust me more." Iniwas ko ang mukha ko sakanya. Ang hirap ng hinihiling niya. Kung noon ay madali lang saakin na paalisin siya o hayaan siya sa mga problema ng kaitaasan, ngayon nahihirapan na ako. Nasanay na ako na lagi siyang nasa tabi ko at kung patatagalin na wala siya sa tabi ko pakiramdam ko... mawawala ako.
"I just need you to love me harder, Just love me harder."
"Would you stay... if I love you harder?" Pigil kong sinabi. Mahirap saakin ang maging makasarili, pero hindi ko maiwasan na gustuhing angkinin siya, kahit na alam ko na walang akin, dahil kalangitan ang nagmamay-ari sa kanya.
"Yes..."
I slowly removed my clothes in order to feel his warmth more. His soft kisses went harsh as I give him more access to kiss my neck down to may chest, I slowly moved my body to feel him.
"It's forbidden to touch you... Cal." Nahihirapan niyang tugon.
"You'll be with me forever whatever it takes after this, Calamity..." tumango ako. As if I'm asking any man after him... as if I'm capable of leaving him... As if I can leave him.
Nothing is more spectacular with him as my view.
His mascular frame covered the sea, his touch were soft but it feels rough because of desire, the light of the moon reflected on his ocean eyes as a symbol of his burning desires. Burning, but pure.
I found myself locked against the heat of his skin, I felt my skin shiver as I felt his long fingers passionately touching my thighs up to my flesh. I'm catching my breath while he's calm.
He slowly pushed me to the blanket to laid down as he finally covers all of my view with his proud, mascular body. He kissed me on the tip of my nose. I closed my eyes in burning desire of wanting him...
I want him.
I feel so small and vulnerable beside him but he's my strength so... I stay still as his kisses were going down...
I could feel his strength with every move that he make, I could feel his body now that every part of his body is touching my naked body.
"There's no end after this, Calamity Isyss..."
I nodded at him.
"Whatever it takes... Zadkiel."
I closed my eyes to endure the pain he's about to make me feel. There's really no end after this. There's only me and him...
What will happen tonight will mark that he officially owns me and that our link will finally be awake.
There's really no end after this. Because tonight, will mark the link of us being Soulmate.