The emptiness that I feel right now is pretty identical to today's dreadful sky. I am lumbering around the city underneath the cloudy evening. Right behind me is the reedy sounds of ambulance's sirens tearing down the silence, cold evening, and a chattering crowd congregates with their empathy that clearly won't change anything.
This chaos occurs from a tragic accident that killed Juan. A homeless man whose life I saved three months ago. Blood poured out of his body, got his worn-out clothes all soaked and filthy by mud. There was a big crowd watching, without even the slightest sound of sadness was heard. Furthermore, Juan died as an unidentified corpse.
I walked away from the crowd as soon as Juan's body was picked up into the ambulance and began to wander around like a free spirit. Juan wasn't the only one whose frightening death scene I witness. My chest started to feel incredibly heavy when my mind started to recall those tragedies.
Three months ago, Juan nearly died after a debt collector attempt to murder him; his belly was stabbed several times and wounded deeply. His old and helpless body reminded me of my father, whose death was becoming the reason I choose to end my life. But things got very disappointing. After I helped him escape from death, he never attempts to recognize my presence and pretending I'm invisible even when I tried to talk to him.
There were no many choices left. I continue living in dead silence and witnessing Juan's miserable life as a homeless man for more than six months in dead silence even though I've never been out of his sight. As much as I was aware, this guy didn't talk to a lot of people except a small homeless child that shared sleeping space with him at the bus stop. He's a decent human being with morals. Despite how little money he earns, he never minds sharing with the other homeless.
Six hours ago, he packed his stuff out of discomfort. He's trying to escape me in the middle of the night. Little did he knows, The eternal covenant I'm committing to is as strong as a death vow of human living at this moment. Apart from how much they pretend to forget, We all know that humans are born to die. None of them can escape death and destiny.
I saved people from death by transferring half of my energy to their body that makes me automatically attached to their movement, their feelings, and their thoughts. He began to walk, hide, run in silence, and go back to walk; I didn't even move an inch away from him. I keep an eye on him and all his weird behavior. Juan started to run for his life to avoid me, who did nothing but follow him. This man kept running while looking back at me, and for the first time, I heard him talking to me. Begging, Crying, and telling me to leave until a sand truck bumped on him; he died just right on the spot 15 minutes ago.
"Congratulations, You're free." I smile in disgust.
***
It's been a month since I've become a lonely spirit. I still find a way back to heaven and find peacefulness. I looked up at the sky and witnessed the stars slowly hiding their light behind the clouds. For some reason, I always feel better when the sky is as dark as my soul because I get jealous even by a glimpse of light or just the slightest warmth showcased in public. I began to think about how unfair this universe is. I feel like there is no escape for someone living in misery when death can't even make it any better. In life or death, I feel like there are no Significant differences apart from how light your body feels when you're dead. I still feel miserable; I still feel very lonely.
I started to think about going back to the realm of spirit and gave up on finding a human to help me go to heaven even by this power to save them from death, turns out they always become the biggest liar on the planet. After Juan, I decided to take a break to find new prey. This time, I make sure to stay away from the angel of death's favorite place. Such as a hospital or a homeless settlement.
I turned around towards the pastry shop across the street. I see a girl came out drawn in her oversized gray hoodie and knee-length jeans. Her nose is small and pointed; Her pale lips merged with her light brown skin. Her eyes flickered and collided with some strands of her long straight hair fluttered by the wind. Her eye bags were dark and looked deep as if she hadn't slept in a long time. She gratefully looked up and smiled at the sky after she let the first drop of tonight's rain fell on her palms. She is gorgeous. This girl pulled me back to 1st human I saved six years ago, Valerie.
***
6 years ago.
"Where is my family?" a bald woman desperately asked the nurse standing beside her bed. She tightly gripped the edge of it with an expression of pain.
"They are not here yet." she softly answered with a small caress on her head.
"Since yesterday?" She was biting the tip of her thumb while holding on to somehow the emotional pressure bursting out from her chest.
"Maybe today?" Said the nurse, still being very careful of what she's saying.
"They won't. Why don't you tell the truth? How long will I be able to survive? How bad is my condition right now?" The woman starts attacking her with questions while her voice tremble.
"You will survive. You have to believe, dear." replied the nurse soothingly.
Enraged at all the pretentious positivity she received, The girl just threw everything she got on the table right beside her. Food, flowers, and Vase were falling all over to the corner.
"Valerie!" The girl started crying hysterically and screaming so that her hand slowly bleeding from her attempts to pull the IV.
"VALERIE !!" The nurse screamed while holding her hands together while the girl was still crying hysterically; This commotion invites a group of medical teams to rush into helping Valerie goes out of control
I sat in the corner while watching the incident with my heartbroken. I have loved Valerie since the first time I saw her. I always sit in the corner of the room, stared at her pretty face. Witnessed the cheerfulness and beautiful hair disappeared along with her sanity. The girl was still sobbing like crazy. I'm walking toward the bed to be in the crowd of the medical team. Valerie's sharp eyes glared at me. Her breath feels clogged and squeaked like a rusty metal door.
"WHO ARE YOU?!! WHO?!!" She shouted hysterically at me.
"Valerie, My dear. It's me, nurse Hera."
"I'm James. Can you see me now? " I whispered in her ear.
Valerie shouted; She looked at me; Looks Frighten.
"Don't be afraid. I'm here to save you from death. Death is now walking towards you."
"GO!!" Valerie started crying again, whining like a baby. Tears, snot, and saliva all fell down her face and dripped down her neck. She starts running out of breath. I retreated slowly when a doctor finally came and injected Valerie with a sedative to calm her down. I was still staring at her with pity while the drug reacted. She finally managed to close her beautiful eyes. This room is returning to shackled in silence and coldness. One by one, the medical team left the room after cleaning up the mess. Nurse Hera took the time to kiss her forehead before leaving and back to her duty.