My father was my strength. I expected anything from my mother. In fact, nothing she did surprised me anymore. However, my father was the one person who kept me grounded.
Especially when I felt like my mother's wrath was too much to bear and I was ready to end it all; just to escape. I was sure of him so I never bothered to build any defenses against him. His next words made me wish I had.
"I wish we could have gotten rid of her sooner but..."
Whatever he said after that was drowned out by the thumping of my heart. It started to beat so hard, I thought it was going to jump out of my chest. I
stumbled through my bedroom door and barely took two steps in before crumpling to the floor.
A burning tingle spread from my arm up to my heart activating a flow of twin rivers from my eyes to my cheeks.
I barely noticed the stinging, of the cuts on my face from being slammed into the floor. My mind rejected it but my heart felt and recognized what my brain didn't want to face. I was forced to come to the realization that my father, the man I adored, couldn't wait to be rid of me.
Hope, hope for what I couldn't even remember slipped through me hands and emptiness settled in its place.
There was a pop in my ears as if I was on a plane that had just landed. Something within me awakened and the most peculiar sensation of pins and needles ran through me as everything became clear.
I could see, hear, and understand everything. It was painfully obvious that my time in this place was over. Like magic, the swelling in my face disappeared and I could see out of my left eye again.
With a speed I didn't know I possessed, I stood up swiftly and dove into the back of my closet. I grabbed my knapsack that contained money, snacks, and clothes. I had been preparing for this moment ever since the night that woman had locked me out the house in nothing but my nightgown. I had worked small, odd jobs around the neighborhood and saved every penny. It was to pay for my needs while I was away at college but right now, this money was my way to escape this hell I had called home.
I snagged my sneakers, whirled towards the door and yanked it open. I got to the bottom of the stairs so fast it felt like I just appeared there. I was almost out the front door when someone bellowed my name. I didn't pause, didn't look back, just pumped my legs faster; needing to lose myself in another type of pain.