Alex was laying on his freshly made bed looking at the wooden ceiling. There were a few spider webs formed in the corners and he tended his hand like wanted to touch them and break them but they were too far away. The room was overly too familiar and even though he hadn't been there in a while he felt like he knew every inch of it so well that he could move even with his eyes closed.
The bed was small and his feet hanged from the edge and opposite stood a small wooden desk that he assembled with his dad. He would spent hours there drawing with his little markers that he would always remind his mum to bring with them. Still some of them were taped on the wall above it, they had turned yellowish and the tape could barely hold them but the stick figures were clear. A mum with brown long hair, a dad wearing a red tie and a small boy with a soccer ball on his feet.
This house made him reminisce the old days when everything in his life was normal. When he was normal and after what Luke had said to him the guilt creeped in from the door of his heart. It was like a monster with long black nails, wearing a pitch black cloak that hid every part of his body. It would appear and would just stand there inside his mind and heart and he would suffocate him to the point where he would want to escape from everything, even better simply disappear.
He knew it wasn't true. That it wasn't his fault everything that has happened but hearing him say all these words that reminded him so much of his father he couldn't help but think about it twice. That he was the cause of his family falling apart, he was the cause Luke had been injured he and the fact that he couldn't hide his true self well enough were the reason so many people had been troubled and hurt.
He became a small ball, bringing his knees to his chest wanting to shrink so much that he became nonexistent and he started crying silently. His pain had no sound. It was mute and that hurt even more because he didn't have the strength to scream, to shout, to find a way and vent al that disappointment and sorrow because he felt like he shouldn't. he shouldn't make a big deal out of it and concern even more people. The few people in his life that still cared about him, they would get bore, sick and tired of him if all he did was be sad and cry. So he just hurt in silence until he fell asleep from the crying.
"What you said was the least I could say horrible" Mark said to Luke.
The three boys after the whole uproar had stopped were sitting on the living room munching to a few chips Mark had managed to bring with him. Luke was upset and he wasn't trying to hide it.
"I mean Alex hadn't told me that he was gay. So you except for insulting him you exposed him to me. I don't care to be honest if he's gay or not he is my best friend after all but don't you think you should treat such personal information more delicately?"
"No one will point the fact that he called me a monster I guess" Luke commented and Mikael laughed. He knew that his best friend didn't like being called like, no wolf did but at the same time he didn't really have the right to complain. he had hurt Alex numerous times and it was very logical that he would snap.
"The way you treat Alex just because you are confused it's not right and you know it" Mikael said and his night blue eyes gifted him a very judgmental look.
"So there is a possibility you might like him?" Mark asked surprised.
"I am trying to figure things out." Luke explained. "Things are happening too fast and no I don't feel okay with what I said. I acted like a jerk and I should apologize but I don't know what to say" he said and scratched the back of his head.
"How about I'm sorry?" Mikael mocked him and Mark laughed with him. Luke was kind of agitated at how these two seemed to think alike and campaign against him. He was self-aware enough to know that he had screwed up big time but still being reminded of it every second of the day and possibly of the rest of the time they would spend here was going to be pure torture.
"I'm going to apologize" He said and stood up. Dusting off some invisible dirt from his jeans he headed towards the wooden staircase. The stars would creek every time his heavy boots would step on them and he felt like he should be quiet for some reason.
He stopped in front of Alex's door and knocked a few times but he didn't get an answer. Then he gently called out his name but still nothing. He started to get worried. He was sure that Alex was a very sensitive person and for a second he thought if his words had caused something terrible. He placed his hand on the cold doorknob that was painted a faded gold color and opened the door slowly. At first he was hesitant but he still peeked inside only with his head.
He faced a sleeping Alex, curled and hugging himself. It was obvious that he had been crying from the tear stains that had appeared on his cheeks and how red and puffy his eyes were underneath. He let out a sigh feeling his heart ache and steeped inside trying not to wake him. The side of the bed he sat on shanked and the sleeping boy flinched but didn't wake up.
Luke payed closer attention to his features, now in the stillness of the silence around him and he found himself getting lost while admiring. The signs of exhaustion were obvious and even while he was asleep he had a sorrowful expression and he wondered if even asleep he was being tortured by hurtful dreams. His words had been hurtful, a lot more than he had thought and he acknowledged the fact that people don't measure each other's problems the same way.
His green eyes had been filled with tears, his lips were chirped from biting them too hard, trying to keep his pain in and his hair were messily sticking to his forehead from the sweat. He moved a few of the delinquent strands away and his thumb caressed his cheek. His skin was soft and warm and for a second he wanted to hug him. An undeniable urge to embrace him over took him and before he had realized he had thrown his boots on the floor and was lying next to him.
"I'm going to regret this so much" He mumbled but still he wrapped his tanned arms around him.
He felt like he could soothe Alex's pain like that. While the boy was resting his head on his chest his expression turned peaceful and he noticed how he gripped on his shirt. Their bodies were matching perfectly and he had never felt more comfortable in his life. It was like for a second he had found peace and he closed his eyes shutting down everything around him.
The sound was too loud though for him to be able to ignore. Too familiar as it registered to his brain just a few seconds after it was actually heard. Both of them jumped up in surprise and Alex looked at him in shock recognizing immediately the situation he was in.
"What…what are you doing?" he asked him but before he could answer the sound was heard again.
That was definitely it Luke could not be mistaken and by Alex's look he knew he wasn���t wrong. His heard sped up but still all he could think about is keeping Alex safe.
"What's happening?" Alex asked his green eyes wide open. He didn't need some time to wake up because he was fully aware of what was happening. He just wanted Luke to tell him that wasn't the case.
"Stay here don't leave the room if I don't say so."
"Luke wait…" Alex tried to call out to him but he was already gone.
He hadn't heard that sound a lot of times before in real life but anyone could recognize the way it would deafen you for a few second and would drown your heart in terror.
It was a gunshot.