RJMH: Ryan James, Monster Hunter

RYAN JAMES:

MONSTERHUNTER, INC.





"IF YOU HAVE A BIG SCARY PROBLEM, DON'T WORRY...I'LL FIX IT :)"



FADE IN


RYAN

(O.S.)

If you have a big scary problem....don't worry...I'll fix it...


EXT. BACKYARD


We see DEAD BODIES littered all across a NICE LOOKING BACKYARD, BODY PARTS and SEVERED HEADS are thrown about as PARTY DECORATIONS for what was a BIRTHDAY PARTY are caked with blood, as a HEAD was in a PUNCH BOWL, and an ARM was sticking out of a BIRTHDAY CAKE, but as they serene scene is being observed a BODY comes crashing out of the HOUSE, RYAN JAMES landing on the grassy outside as he was covered in glass. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

...that's me surrounded by the broken glass, getting thrown through windows...


RYAN looks up as a MONSTEROUS MAN, DEFORMED and carrying a LARGE AXE, steps through the WINDOW PANE that RYAN had come crashing out of. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

And that big son of a bitch is THE MANGLER, a serial killer who's been terrorizing this town for the past few months, racked up a pretty impressive body count of 68, before I showed up....then again...it was only 46 before this party...


THE MANGLER raises the AXE up as RYAN looks up at him breathing heavy, before pulling up a .45 MAGNUM and plugs THE MANGLER four times in the head, THE MANGLER dropping his AXE as he falls over backwards, blood pouring out of his gunshot wounds as RYAN shakes his head and sits up, looking about before wiping his brow of sweat. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

This is my life...the life of hunting down slashers and serial killers, and taking them out. It's not glamorous and it's certainly not the most original profession, but when you're one of the only few people still alive after your first ten attempts, you're always in high demand. 


RYAN looks around as he stands up and kicks a LITTLE GIRL'S HAND away from where he was about to step on, RYAN coming over to THE MANGLER as he aims down and plugs the rest of his clip into THE MANGLER'S HEAD. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

I'm good at what I do, though I'm not the most discreet...


RYAN kicks THE MANGLER as he pulls out a SCANNER and scans THE MANGLER, waiting till it beeps before he checks the reading that has a BLUE LIGHT. 


RYAN

Goddamnit, they always have to come back. 


RYAN looks about as he notices the pool. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

The COMEBACK METER, BLUE means they're still alive, waiting for one more go, GREEN means you need to kill them more than once, RED means they're still kicking, and finally BLACK, my favorite killer, means the dark evil demonic soul is destroyed.


RYAN opens his arms to the sides, posing JESUS style as he slowly begins backing into the POOL, slowly going down each step into the water. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

One more kill....easy enough...


RYAN continues on until he is submerged under water. 


ONE HOUR LATER


There is nothing to be seen as suddenly THE MANGLER sits up, THE MANGLER looking about as he moans and touches his head, pulling the slugs that RYAN had shot into his head out as he looks about and grabs the AXE, standing up as he begins walking about, searching for any signs of RYAN as he doesn't notice a SNORKEL sticking out of the POOL. 


THE MANGLER suddenly trips a wire and as he does, THE MANGLER turns as RYAN suddenly rises from the POOL screaming, a M4 MACHINE GUN in hand as he opens fire, THE MANGLER dropping his AXE as he is shot over and over and over again as RYAN, screaming with the SNORKEL still over his face. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

Ummm...let me explain...


59 MINUTES AGO. 


RYAN comes out of the water, gasping and gagging for air, as he wipes his eyes and comes out of the POOL, looking over at THE MANGLER before heading outside the gate. 


EXT. STREET


RYAN comes over to a parked '67 STINGRAY as he pops the trunk and looks in to see a bevy of guns, weapons, and other miscellaneous equipment, RYAN grabbing the SNORKEL and the M4 MACHINE GUN. 


PRESENT time


EXT. BACKYARD


RYAN is still firing the MACHINE GUN until the clip empties, THE MANGLER standing for a moment, spouting holes of blood before falling over, RYAN lowering his gun as he pulls his MASK up. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

Most people think you need specialty occult weapons to fight these supernatural freaks, but any type of major firearm will get the job done, even if you have to do it multiple times sometimes. 


RYAN comes over and scans THE MANGLER with the COMEBACK METER, RYAN watching as the reading flashes BLACK. 


RYAN

So much for you MANGLER, thank you though, you just earned me 20 grand. 


RYAN smirks and kicks THE MANGLER across the head before pulling his cell phone out and dials the police. 


RYAN

It's done...send a unit...


RYAN hangs up and heads off, leaving THE MANGLER'S BODY. 


FADE OUT


CREDITS ROLL


FADE IN


INT. THE HANGOUT


RYAN JAMES sits inside of his business office in TEXAS, the front reading RYAN JAMES: MONSTER HUNTER, INC. as he sits what he call's THE HANGOUT. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

THE HANGOUT is my base of operations, my little time of peace before each new client. 


RYAN snorts a line of coke before sitting back in his chair as the phone rings, RYAN waiting for three rings before answering it. 


RYAN 

RYAN JAMES: MONSTER HUNTER...


MAN

(O.S.)

He's killing us! Oh my god, he's killing all of us!!


RYAN

Sir, calm down, calm down, where are you?!


MAN

(O.S.)

We're in a small town, outside Wyoming...


RYAN

I don't hunt in Wyoming, Maine, or Alaska. Sorry. 


RYAN hangs up as he puts the phone down. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

Nothing happened in any prior hunts, it's just a bitch to drive or fly out to those three states, so I've basically just said fuck it. 


RYAN looks over at a wall with pictures and newspaper clippings of his  exploits. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

No one really knows when or how or even why these Serial Killer's and Slasher's started popping up, killing folk, surviving horrific wounds and keep on coming. But eventually people had to start standing up, people like me. And so I hunt them, making a great living, and do my best to serve my country. 


The PHONE rings again and RYAN answers it after the 3rd ring. 


RYAN

RYAN JAMES: MONSTER HUNTER...


MAN

(O.S.)

Yes, we're from MIAMI...


RYAN

Be there in three hours...


EXT. CRIME SCENE


A COP VOMITS as RYAN walks by him, patting him on the back as he runs a line of beef jerky across his nose, which causes the COP to vomit again, RYAN smiling as he takes a bite of the beef jerky and comes over to the severely mutilated bodies of THREE SMALL CHILDREN. RYAN looking over as the SHERIFF comes over. 


RYAN

What's the scoop? 


SHERIFF

This has been the pattern of DOCTOR DEATH...


RYAN

DOCTOR DEATH? Pretty lame name. 


SHERIFF

Wasn't a very scary man when alive, use to euthanasia the elderly and sick kids at a local hospital, local cop put him down ten years ago, and ever since then, off and on during the month of his death, we find sets of THREE, whether it be the elderly or children, last six were all older, this is the first of the three kids. 


RYAN

Why THREE? 


SHERIFF

Liked the number three, would only do three at a time, same as now. 


RYAN

What makes you think he's back? 


SHERIFF

The state of the bodies, and the heavy residue of ectoplasm upon every body found. 


RYAN

That'll do it. Fuck...I hate pissed off slashers from the grave, they cause to much trouble, and they're always the hardest to kill. 


SHERIFF

Think you can stop this guy? 


RYAN takes a large bite of beef jerky. 


RYAN

Of course...50,000. 


SHERIFF

50,000?! How am I supposed to secure that large amount of money in stopping this thing? 


RYAN

I can stop it with 50 grand. I don't go lower with ghost slashers. 


SHERIFF

Can we pay you through the state? 


RYAN

I'm financed through the state of TEXAS, so yeah. 


SHERIFF

Oh thank god. 


RYAN

I do require ten thousand upfront. 


SHERIFF

Give me a few hours. 


RYAN

I'll be waiting. 


The SHERIFF heads off as RYAN walks by the bodies and stops. 


VOICE

Ummm...look at those little kids...their souls probably rotting away in the...


RYAN

Shut up!

A DEPUTY looks at him as RYAN takes a vial and does a bump of cocaine from it, RYAN blinking rapidly as he continues on before stopping. 


SAMANTHA

Well well well...


RYAN

Shit...


RYAN turns with a smile as he looks to see SAMANTHA CRANE, along with two larger men behind her, CHARLES REID, and JARED MORTON. 


RYAN

SAMANTHA...nice to see you again, Boys...


JARED

Fuck you. 


RYAN

Now that's not nice. 


CHARLES

RYAN, how have you been?


RYAN

I'm good, working a case.


SAMANTHA

So we see...little kids bodies, how fun. 


RYAN

When's the last time you did a job for the little people huh? 


SAMANTHA

We don't do jobs under 1.2 million, you know this. 


RYAN

What happened to you guys, you guys were like me. 


SAMANTHA

Reckless and incompetent? 


JARED

A dick?


CHARLES

Lacking any moral or ethical code...


RYAN

...not the point...


SAMANTHA

I bet you still do coke don't you?


RYAN

Every damn day. 


SAMANTHA

Jesus...You're never going to wise up. 


RYAN

What would you know? 


SAMANTHA

You're no longer with us for a reason you know...


RYAN raises an eyebrow. 


FLASHBACK


INT. WAREHOUSE


SAMANTHA is running as A SLASHER was chasing close behind, his LARGE BLADED ARM raised up high to strike at her as she dives and slides across her back, firing from TWO PISTOLS as she drives the SLASHER backwards towards a RED BLOT on the floor. 


SAMANTHA

Now!

CHARLES is sitting in a VAN outside, CHARLES looking at cameras that are situated about the area as he is wearing a headset and working a 3-D TOUCH SCREEN INTERFACE. 


CHARLES types a sequence and hits the large INITIATE BUTTON. 


SAMANTHA watches as FLOOD LIGHTS suddenly turn on and the SLASHER looks about before being blinded, SAMANTHA rolling to her feet as she looks up to see JARED jump down from a upper level and stab a DETONATING EXPLOSIVE into the SLASHER'S NECK. THE SLASHER screaming before turning and slashing at JARED who rolls away from the strike. 


SAMANTHA

RYAN! Blow it!


THE SLASHER turns to her as nothing happens, JARED looking about as CHARLES watches the camera's intensely. 


CHARLES

What the fuck, RYAN! Blow him up!

SAMANTHA

RYAN!


In a corner on the upper level, in an adjacent room to where JARED was hiding, RYAN is sound asleep, the DETONATOR in his hands. 


PRESENT DAY


RYAN

Really? Come on that was one time...


SAMANTHA

No, RYAN it was every time, every goddamn motherfucking time we set up a great trap, or a good plan, you somehow managed to completely fuck us over, You're like shaggy and scooby doo in one fucking fat disgusting body. 


RYAN

First off, I'm not fat, Look at me...


RYAN spins around and farts, SAMANTHA shaking her head as he looks at her with his most charming look he can muster as JARED just covers his mouth. 


RYAN

Glistening. Second off, I didn't screw up every plan...


CHARLES

RYAN...


RYAN

Yes, old friend? 


CHARLES

You kind of did. 


SAMANTHA

We won't even get into when we are a five man team...


RYAN

Why not? 


JARED

Because you got every fifth member killed. 


RYAN

Not true, not true at all, name one. 


SAMANTHA

MARCI. 


EXT. HOUSE


RYAN trips MARCI as she was surpassing him as a GIANT CROCODILE like MONSTER chased them, RYAN watching as she screams as the MONSTER tears her limb from limb. 


PRESENT


RYAN

Okay, maybe her...


JARED

DERRICK. 


EXT. VAN


DERRICK picks up an explosive as RYAN and CHARLES were arguing nearby. 


RYAN

just let me press the button when we get it on the guy, that's all I'm saying!


CHARLES

no because that thing isn't even properly primed yet, a slightly tap could set it off, let me prime it all the way first...


RYAN

You're such a dick...


RYAN taps the button and tosses it down as DERRICK suddenly explodes into a giant red mist of blood and guts, RYAN and CHARLES looking over at the bloody mess as they were covered in his blood, RYAN and CHARLES suddenly running as SAMANTHA can be heard screaming at them from inside the VAN. 


PRESENT


RYAN

Okay, in my defense, totally CHARLES'S fault...


CHARLES

What...?!


RYAN

It sorta was. 


CHARLES

Alright, ass! What about JASON.


ALL THREE GLARE at RYAN. 


EXT. CAR


RYAN gets into the car and shuts the door as JASON runs up too it from the outside, RYAN staring at JASON as he locks the door, JASON screaming for him to open the door as RYAN watches the SLASHER come up and rip JASON'S SKIN off of his SKULL, as RYAN just watches from inside the CAR. 


PRESENT


RYAN

He wasn't cut out for the job, and he was a douche. 


SAMANTHA

He was so pretty!


JARED

He could cook too, asshole. 


CHARLES

He used to make me laugh, with just a smile...


RYAN

So I took out a few team members, by accident mind you, that doesn't equate to losing them all. 


JARED

You lost them all, if you didn't do it on purpose, then you were present during their demise, and did nothing to stop it. 


RYAN

Way of the land I'm afraid. 


SAMANTHA

We're done here, You obviously haven't changed, and I don't expect you ever will...goodbye, RYAN. 


RYAN

Till next time...


SAMANTHA, JARED, and CHARLES walk by him, but stop SAMANTHA turning to him with sudden LOVELORN eyes as she runs to him and kisses him deep, RYAN a bit taken aback as he then kisses her deep, slapping his tongue across her lips and face as he pulls her away. 


RYAN

Took you long enough, bitch. 


SAMANTHA

I should've never kicked you out, I should've never let you leave me, Never let your dick fall out of my wet pussy...


RYAN

Yeah that's right, the tightest wettest pussy, girl pussy too


JARED

We're sorry we said all those things, we are just jealous of your plowing SAMANTHA like a stallion on a mare, we miss your musk, we miss your laugh and care free attitude, we wish our cocks were nearly half as big as your dick.


CHARLES

Can you ever forgive us? Shall we eat cement to appease you? 


RYAN

That won't be necessary for my subjects. 


RYAN turns around and suddenly "GIN AND JUICE" by SNOOP DOGG begins playing as JARED suddenly wraps a FUR COAT around RYAN as RYAN is then fitted with a FEDORA and a RUBY ENCRUSTED CANE, RYAN lighting up a blunt that SAMANTHA puts in his mouth as they follow close behind as RYAN begins pimp walking about, the music still playing as SAMANTHA lays down and begins touching herself as JARED is crying as he reaches to touch RYAN, CHARLES biting his lip as he slowly follows as RYAN just nods as other FEMALES appear and surround themselves around him. RYAN laughing as he sways to and fro. 


RYAN shakes his head as he looks about to see him still standing where he had been, SAMANTHA, JARED, and CHARLES almost at their VAN as RYAN rubs his head. 


RYAN

Knew it was too good to be true. 


RYAN looks about and heads off. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

Things with THE TRIO, as they call themselves now were never that hostile, but I can't be surprised, we didn't part or meet up on the best terms. Turns out they were there helping some Miami drug cartels deal with some homicidal spirits whom they had whacked years ago to acclaim their rise, go figure? 


MONTAGE begins playing. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

I began my investigation as per use, found a few ladies, exulted as much from them as I could about the area and the locals...then we fucked...


RYAN is rabbit humping the TWO WOMEN with reckless abandon. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

Around this time a few more bodies turned up, and I stumbled upon my first encounter with the famed DOCTOR DEATH...


RYAN goes flying out of a window, landing on the top of a parked CAR, which alarms go off as his body causes heavy roof damage.


RYAN

(O.S.)

Not my finest moment. 


RYAN lays in the hospital as the SHERIFF was showing him clippings of new murders. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

After my five day stay in the local hospital, it seemed my presence caused DOCTOR DEATH to step up his game, killing 12 more children from the time I was off my feet till I was back on, but it was around this time I found his current location after checking the last few bodies, and this time...it was either him or me going home in a body bag...hopefully him...


EXT. RIVER DOCK WAREHOUSE


RYAN checks about as he looks at the upper and lower levels, before coming over to an AIR DUCT that leads into a closed off area where RYAN found the remains of shredded clothes and small children's shoes. 


RYAN pulls out his .45 as he looks about, aiming his light around as he feels the chill of the air suddenly drop. 


RYAN

I know you know I'm here! So show yourself!

RYAN freezes up as he is conked over the head hard. 


RYAN

Son..of a...fuck...


RYAN falls over, Unconscious.


SOME time LATER


RYAN wakes up as he is tied to a CHAIR, RYAN looking behind him as he was by a WINDOW that fell straight into the RIVER below, RYAN looking over as the figure known as DOCTOR DEATH stood before him, caressing the face of a THREE SMALL CHILDREN who were tied up like him, their mouths gagged. 


DOCTOR DEATH licks one of the kid's faces before turning to RYAN. 


DOCTOR DEATH

RYAN JAMES, MONSTERHUNTER. I've heard a lot about you. 


RYAN

Really? And here I thought my exploits only stuck to the midwest. 


DOCTOR DEATH

You're funny, I think you're going to die in the wrong profession. 


RYAN

I wouldn't hold it past me...


RYAN struggles and frees his hand, as DOCTOR DEATH doesn't seem to notice, RYAN slowly draws a knife from his back pocket.


DOCTOR DEATH

Is it sad for you? 


RYAN

For what? 


DOCTOR DEATH

To know that your life is going to end by the hands of the very things you promise to destroy? Do the faces of the children behind me...


RYAN eyes them 


DOCTOR DEATH

Does it frighten you to know they'll never grow old because you failed to do your job? 


RYAN

Eh, not really. 


DOCTOR DEATH

Not really? 


RYAN

You seem to forget, my job is to destroy you, at all costs, casualties are part of the business, and as long as I save more lives than whom you could have destroyed, then their deaths are justifiable. 


DOCTOR DEATH

Such foolish talk from a boy trying to be as much as possible during his final moments. 


RYAN

No sir, see the thing about you, the thing I overestimated about the kind of entity you are, is that your a pussy, and a pussy entity like you, the first time around, only read on the COMEBACK METER as BLUE...meaning all I had to do was take you out once for you to go back to where you came from...


DOCTOR DEATH

You understand nothing boy, THE BEREAVED will see to it that I live forever to hunt you if you strike me down! Take these children...their lives haven barely begun, what do they understand of death? The elderly I kill? They know death too well, as they stand at the precipice of it everyday. Do you not see the reason? Do you not see the beauty in why I take their lives? The solace and peace I give them?

RYAN

Yeah, I bet...but the thing is...


RYAN kicks back and tosses TWO DEVICES, one that lands near the CHILDREN and one near DOCTOR DEATH who stares at RYAN in horror as RYAN sailed backwards. 


RYAN

You'll be dead yourself soon...motherfucker!


RYAN jumps out the window, DOCTOR DEATH screaming as he lunges for him, RYAN crossing his arms as he held TWO DETONATORS and pressed them, RYAN catching the final glimpse of the scared children before disappearing behind the MUSHROOM CLOUD of FIRE AND SMOKE that erupted from the TOP LEVEL of the WAREHOUSE being blown apart, the screams of DOCTOR DEATH wailing through out the night sky as RYAN fell almost slowly towards the water below, RYAN closing his eyes as he fell. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

Their faces...


FLASHES OF THE CHILDREN'S FACES before the EXPLOSION. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

The faces of all the people I have to sacrifice, of all the people I seem to get killed...they never leave me...


RYAN crashes into the river, RYAN slowly descending downwards into the depths below as RYAN doesn't try to swim or budge. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

And like a backpack, they're faces carry weight, a weight I never seem to be able to shake, a weight that always wants to drag me deeper and deeper into the darkness of any form of abyss...but I can't let it...


VOICE

(O.S.)

Sure you can...boy...


RYAN

(O.S.)

I can't let it because of him...


The WATERS are still as SIRENS can be heard from all over heading towards the area of the EXPLOSION, RYAN suddenly emerging from the WATERS as he gasps for air and looks about at the sight. 


EXT. RIVER DOCK


RYAN sits in the back of a SQUAD CAR as he was wrapped in blankets, RYAN drinking from a FLASK as THE SHERIFF takes it back and puts it in his pocket. 


THE SHERIFF

The kids? 


VOICE

(O.S.)

Go ahead and tell them that you blew them up...


RYAN

They were already dead by the time I was able to get here, I'm sorry. 


THE SHERIFF

I suppose it couldn't have been helped...


RYAN

(O.S.)

How wrong he was...how little he knew...


RYAN

I think it's time I get going. 


THE SHERIFF

The money has been forwarded, Mr. JAMES, thank you...for stopping this. 


RYAN

Yeah, real hero huh? 


THE SHERIFF

To us, you are, or a lot more kids and elderly folk would have been killed...


RYAN

Thanks, SHERIFF. 


RYAN shakes his hand and heads off, THE SHERIFF nodding to him as he watches him go. 


INT. THE STING


RYAN drives alone, taking a bump of coke as he looks about the darkness of the open road. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

To me, in this world....why not die young? Why not die old? I didn't see that clearly until this case, till I saw the look on the kids faces, the look of fear...and the lack of understanding...where I imagine, that if those faces had been the elderly, people who had lived long enough on this earth to of seen and done it all, that their expressions may have been different, more understanding...more complacent in facing mortality. Maybe...in a sick way...DOCTOR DEATH, was right....maybe he understood death better than, maybe he knew that it's better to kill them young, and to kill them old, get them before they understand, and get them when they understand all too well...and leave people like me...those people still in the Grey...not ready to die, not quite living...to live with the choices of our decisions...to suffer with not fully understanding what we feel we should already know...perhaps he knew...perhaps he knew. 


VOICE

(O.S.)

Will you shut up...


RYAN

You fucking shut up!

RYAN grabs the vile and takes two bumps, RYAN never taking his eyes off the road. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

In the end, it doesn't matter. Young, old, middle aged, teenager...death is inevitable, so what does it matter when you meet it?


RYAN looks in the rear view mirror and sees the THREE CHILDREN from the RIVER DOCK WAREHOUSE playing with toys in the backseat. 


RYAN

(O.S.)

Then again...their faces never leave me...


RYAN drives on, the laughing sound of children seemingly echoing from his drive.