"We've arrived your highness," The coach driver said, I nodded and got down from the carriage with help from the coach driver. Laos came down and jumped straight from the carriage and tagged along with me with his arms across his chest as if he were waiting to move.
"what's wrong, laos?"
"Human, is this the best that your race can do?"
"Huh?"
"Look at this castle, it looks so tacky, what materials did you use to build this castle?"
"How should i know? I just arrived here today. But I shall go and tell the maids and architects to fix your room to your liking."
"No need. I am a god, and as a god I'm capable of making my room into the most luxurious and comfortable room possible." He said with pride, I nodded and clapped at his amazing confidence.
1 hour later~
I walked to his chambers and knocked on the gold door, it left me and the servants shocked so I told them he was a 5th rate mage and they accepted it pretty easily and giggled. [I wonder why. Anyway, why does his door have to be made of pure gold? in my opinion it looks worse than the "tacky" rooms in the palace. but oh well...] "Laos, Can I come in?"
"Of course, I'll give you the honor, Human." He replied, I walked in and stood there in complete and utter shock. His room was unbelievable, everything even the walls was of gold and a small smile adorned his face, as he sat lazily on his comfortable gold bed.
He smirked unconsciously and walzted towards her happily, "ya like it, Human?" He presented his room, with his arm stretched out. Annalisa took in the entirety of the room with her small eyeballs and looked down at the prideful god and smacked his head.
"Are you planning on dealing with thieves?"
"What? How dare you hit a god! You ungrateful human!" He kept wailing his arms around trying to run faster but it was to no avail since Annalisa held his head to stop him from running. [Hm I wonder how he's gonna deal with this later on, I'll just have to call a mage to cast a spell on this room to prevent robberies.]
She let out a tired sigh as the god was still restrained; he looked up to her, for being so strong and petty at the same time, [She should've broken down by now, What's keeping her? I'm only here to see her cry. Hah guess I'll stay for a bit more, it wouldn't hurt much to wait. It'll all be worth it.] He smiled and caught a glimpse of her serious face, it was blank like always.
"You're never gonna get any friends if you frown like that." He teased, She smiled but Laos knew it was a lie. Her smile seemed so sad that when you looked at her eyes they seemed so dead it hurt his heart just by looking at it.
He sighed and crossed his arms across his chest, "You really have a bad habit of making others feel bad…" He confessed, she sighed and sat on his gold sofa, [Again with the gold… it's so bright it's blinding me!] She quickly changed the subject to something else, looking away from his worried blue eyes, "it's nothing Laos! Besides, I've wanted to ask you something." She continued, "In the Heavens, was everything really made of gold...or is it just you?" She asked almost teasingly but she decided otherwise, "Well I am Laos the god of the Sun. Hmph!" He smiled, completely confident in himself.
"I--"
Then a knock at the door interrupted my sentence. I looked behind my shoulder and found an elder with scrawny features, his beard still stuffy and rash. He too was blinded by the gold in the room, I laughed a bit and headed out, "Well then I'm off Laos, help yourself." I started and smiled, pressing my hand on his shoulder as I walked away. Laos looked at her worriedly as he wanted to stop her but it was to no avail and he sighed, "Whaddya want ya old geezer?"
As I walked I thought, [How could I forget my past life? Up to this day I can't stop loving the people around me, my parents, I keep making excuses for their behavior it pains my heart just thinking about it, I feel like my heart is crumpling and tearing into a million pieces]
I felt like my heart was being torn, like I was drowning forever in a sea with no end, my chest would feel tight like someone was going to rip my rib cage open and pull my heart out of my chest.
I would hide my pain even when my parents asked me if I was okay, I would stand there as they asked, "Bong-Cha, Are you sure you're okay? I can call a psychiatrist if you want." They would say I would hold in my tears, I felt like there was a lump in my throat it was hard to breathe but, I had to be strong so I wouldn't be discarded and unloved.
"I'm Ok, Mother." I replied smiling, I could hardly talk when I was in pain, I had to pretend to be something I was not, I was criticized all my life and hated by all. As long as I acted perfect in front of their eyes I would be "fine."
Is what I thought. I felt selfish when I only thought of myself, worrying about others was not my first priority in a society where everyone had to wear a mask. I walked into my chambers and let the maids leave out my door, I leaned my back against the door and slumped down. I felt my world crumbling.
My tears wouldn't stop running down my face, no matter how strong I wanted to seem, I just couldn't. No one loved me, I was cursed like that by god. I sobbed endlessly that night, no one comforted me or told me if I was okay, everything was just silent that night as no one came in. Just a hug would've sufficed, a small hug with a bit of affection is what the Tyrantess and Lee Bong-Cha wanted, that would've been enough. But bong-cha never got it in her past or current life.
"Someone...Please...Please help me...Was it wrong to desire the affection and love of another person for myself? Maybe Laos was right...Sniff! If I...just...Sniff...smiled a bit more, maybe people would like me...sniff..!" I brought my knees to my chest and could feel my pounding heart against my knees, my voice hurt my eyes were puffy and I could only feel lonely in my dark room with no light.
The Moon was the only thing that shone in the light.
Today was only my first night here, yet, here I am crying over a past that no longer exists in this world, but it keeps existing in my mind and heart.
[ I wish I could forget…] She thought and fell asleep leaning on her door until it was dawn.
"Kyaaaaa....!!! Your highness!"
"Mmmmm..." Her blue eyes and long eyelashes fluttered and were blinded by the sudden light she found a face hovering above her, she sat up instantly and looked around, "W-What happened?" She asked, looking at the maid's worried expression, the maid looked at the other servants and replied, "We found you here like this Your Highness, You seemed to have fallen asleep leaning on the door."
"What?!"
I scanned the room and looked down at my skinny yet twig-like hands, I sighed and ordered the maid to bring me some food, "Lily, Bring me MEAT." Determined to become less thinner I stomped all the way to the bath with rose petals and hot water and thought to myself, [I know it hasn't been long since I've left my past life and moved onto this one but, I have to be stronger if I want to survive, or I'll regret everything, besides, I have to practice smiling. I can do this!]
[I can't do this!!! I've been practicing smiling for nearly 2 hours and I can't feel my lips!!! AGHHHH!! this isn't working!]
"Your Highness, I've brought the meat you ordered." Lily stated, she was the head maid in the palace and served the Empress personally. Since there is no Emperor to take care of things abroad she sends her chancellor to make amends with those in other countries.
"Thank you Lily,"
"There is no need to thank me, Your Highness! Just eat well so you can get up and at it again! I can't wait for your comeback!" She squealed and walked out, [I was so out of it yesterday, I still feel a bit depressed but, I can't do anything about it, which gives me more reason to cry.]
[Anyway, I should start planning on what to do from now on since this is the setting of a novel and is where I will be living from now on.] I pondered while playing with my metal fork, I walked out after eating all of my food and headed out in hopes of seeing the garden.
[I'd like to see the blue roses today, I heard that the Female Lead used to see the roses in the garden with Marcus, the Male Lead, it was described as being the color cyan and sapphires when they went to see it. It was the engagement gift Marcus gave to Marielise.] I kept thinking as I heard yelling in the hall right outside. I was going to walk past them until I saw a young man being pushed around and being kicked.
The noblemen were snickering and pushing him around, I glowered at them as I walked towards the scene of the crime, "What is going on here?" I asked, they laughed and started to talk, "Hello Missy! We're just having some fun!" I saw a chubby man on the ground trembling, if it really was something "fun" then why would a man that was just playing around be shaking?
I walked towards one of them and smacked the back of his head, "What the-! How dare you..! You wench!"
"Oh sorry! I was only having some fun!~ What? Did this weak lady give you a bruise?"
"Hahahahaha! Stop whining Count Hollander!"
[Hollander? The Count Hollander? That Idiot Count that tried to embezzle from the royal treasury? Oh this all makes sense.]
"It seems you still have yet to learn your place, Hollander." I glared as they shivered at my cold eyes, it was as if they were facing death today.
"How dare you try to abuse my people, in my palace. You shall pay with your title, Hollander." I stated as I grew closer to his face feeling his shaky and trembling breath, [I can't move! Just who is this wench..!?] The count thought and gasped for air, She looked at him dirty as if he were just a despicable bug in her way.
"Do you know who I am?"
"Yes, you're Mike Hollander, a mere count. What of it?" I said uninterested in who he was or what he'd do, I raised the young man up, he was rather chubby but he had nice black silky hair and red jeweled eyes. I smiled at him kindly like I'd been practicing to this day and turned to look at the count and his companions.
"Why are you here to begin with? Only royal family members are allowed here." I ignored his angry expression, "I am here on royal business, I have a scheduled meeting with the Queen."
"Oh?"
"Unlike you who seems to be a low peasant, I come from noble lineage and I can do anything to make your stupid life miserable, do you think I won't be able to do anything to you after this?" He threatened and sneered, I rolled my eyes and whispered in a hushed voice, "You might want to leave right now, if you don't it will cause your family trouble, unless you want to see how they go down." I smiled kindly, he nodded anxiously and stayed for a while watching how I confronted the noblemen.
"Alright, I think you are gravely mistaken about her highness' title, she's an Empress not a mere Queen," I said as I tilted my head a bit and the count grew closer and lifted my chin, "You know, I could pardon you for this if you apologize with your body."
My mouth opened to speak but decided otherwise and smiled, "Buahahahaha!!!" I laughed, I couldn't hold in my laughter all of the noblemen looked at me as a crazywoman. I kept laughing and tears started to fill my eyes. I couldn't breathe from all the laughter.
"Ah! That was a nice laugh!~" I gestured to the chubby boy I helped earlier but even he seemed a bit nervous about the situation, "YOU! How dare you laugh at my proposal! You dare laugh at me you wench!!! I'll accept your redemption and apology if you offer me your body and soul, just maybe I'll pardon your life." He smirked, his eyes were filled with lust and looked me up and down as I crossed my arms across my chest.
[Oh lord I haven't laughed in a long time. I forgot that these types of people are the whole set, actors and cocky noblemen, who knew they would put on such a spectacle. Hehe it's time to tease them a bit.]
"But I'm her highness' attendant, I couldn't possibly leave my position. She's a cold and heartless ruler, and on personal terms we're best friends, So How could I leave her?" I cried, the noblemen looked at each other and smiled, "Who cares about her? The Queen can just get another Attendant, you're the only one I want."
"sigh...You really...it seems it's time I reveal myself then. I was planning on playing with you all a bit more, but you're more of a nuisance than real bugs and insects." I stated, I called for Lily and waited for a few seconds, "You wench! Don't say I didn't give you a chance to redeem yourself!!" He said and ran over to me and slapped my thin right cheek. Everyone stood there in shock, I looked at him blankly.
"Did you think I was going to let you keep up with this stupid act of yours? If you want to impress your friends do so somewhere else."
[Oh no! This is my fault I got this kind lady into this trouble! I should do something to help her-!]
"Yes, Your Highness?" Lily replied just in time, she was sweating due to her running around looking for the Empress and she seemed to be aware of the situation.
"How would you like me to take care of this, Your Highness?"
[YOUR HIGHNESS????!!! THEN SHE'S….!]
"I want you to inform Adelaide and strip them of their titles, also I'd like you to have them locked in their homes. They shall not step out of their homes at least once." I commanded and continued, "Also, get this young man some new clothing, and use the money these men own to pay for his clothing immediately." I ordered without hesitation, Lily nodded and called for the guards and took them away even as they struggled.
"Your Highness! Please forgive us..!"
"We've done nothing wrong!"
"HOW COULD A MERE QUEEN..!" The last one yelled, As I was entering my palace along with the chubby man, I smirked maliciously at the startled noblemen and they were so shocked they wouldn't dare open their mouths.
"Your highness..?"
"Hm? Yes?"
"Please forgive me for being so informal..! I didn't mean to-"
"Hahaha! Don't worry about that, I got a bit of my stress out on them, it was worth it. Besides, it's been a long time since I've been out and felt refreshed. If you really feel sorry then promise me that you'll become stronger. That way you'll be able to help me and the Empire." I strolled down the hall, as the chubby man looked nervously at me and halted.
"Hm?"
"Your Highness…"
"..?"
"Thank You."
My heart skipped a beat, it was the first time someone had genuinely thanked me for something. My face flushed and I stuttered a bit, "I-It was anything-- I mean I was nothing!-- No I mean..! It was n-nothing." The chubby man beamed a smile as I still had my face bright red and flushed but he ignored it.