She strode through the school hallways with her head held down, trying to attract as little attention as possible, her fingers constantly rubbing each other to show how nervous she was.
Hannah manoeuvred her way through the halls, as inconspicuous and unnoticeable as ever, she didn't want to particularly attract any attention to herself, especially now that she had managed to get into the bad books of nearly the entire school population.
Her hands subconsciously pulled her already slackened green cardigan down below her knees, feeling uncomfortable at the bare skin below them.
She laughed to herself gently, even though he was dead, she still incorporated everything he taught her into her everyday life. It had been Toby who taught her to dress like this. She almost cried when she remembered him telling her how good she'd look if she showed more skin, then she almost laughed, when she remembered how stupid she had been to believe him.
Hannah didn't want to think about Toby though, she did not believe he deserved it. Afterall, it was Toby Esquire, the man who had shattered what was left of her already broken life, the man who had taken the last thing that was still mildly important to her, which was her reputation, and ripped it to shreds, the man who had broken her.
She continued to think as she walked the halls of Oaksville high, a few whispers about her caught her ears as she passed, as expected, none of them were good, she wasn't bothered though, or at least, she thought she wasn't, it was better to just pretend she didn't care about the whispers than to feel the pain of being the black sheep of the school.
Maybe it was because she was thinking or because she just couldn't see, either way, by the time Hannah noticed she had slammed into the figure, it was too late. The first thing her eyes saw were the red stilettos, due to her head being down, that clung to the sexiest pair of legs Hannah had ever seen.
She already knew who they belonged to, only one person in all of Oaksville would ever wear stilettos like that, Hannah raised her head to meet the beautiful, but scornful face of Katherine Bernerd. She immediately stilled, the one person she had hoped she could avoid for the rest of the day just had to be the person she slammed into. Hannah was about to apologise when Katherine cut her off.
"Well, well, if it isn't the sl*t" Katherine's voice was filled with an emotion one could only describe as pure hatred. Hannah looked down, she didn't exactly have anything to say. What was the point of talking anyway, would these people listen to what she had to say? No. That was the simple and truthful answer, her words were as irrelevant as she was. Her lack of a response agitated Katherine, who continued to insult her.
"What, has a cat got your tongue or did all your time blowing Toby finally start to affect your speech" A row of laughter passed the hallway as Katherine uttered the words.
Finally, Hannah felt it, the tears, she felt them prick at her eyes, before one finally fell, and when it did, a thousand emotions came with it, grief, resentment, agony, regret. She turned around and ran down the hallway, feeling emotions she never knew she was capable of, Hannah always took pride in her ability to be the bigger person, her ability to be mature and turn away when someone started being unreasonable towards her, but she did not feel like that at this moment, she wanted payback, she wanted to see Katherine suffer, she wanted to humiliate the evil blonde, but she also felt frustration. When Hannah had gotten the scholarship to Oaksville, she had already known that she would be the least popular person in the school, it was a school for rich, spoiled children. What did she have to her name? Almost nothing, except they considered her run down trailer a valuable asset. She felt frustration at the fact that she would never be accepted into their social circle, no matter what she did.
Her name was already a source of ridicule, and her middle class status just happened to be the cherry on top.
Her feet had brought her to the hallway of the girls bathroom, she settled herself in a stall and finally cried all the emotions out.
She cried, and cried, and cried, for a lot of reasons, Katherine's words, her frustration, the fact that she knew that when she left the bathroom, she would have to endure more torture, but Hannah was surprised to realise that the main reason for almost all her tears was one thing, Toby's death.
She couldn't help but feel absolutely hopeless, the one person who had made the hell that was Oaksville high seem like a utopia, even if it was just a short while, had also decided to leave her, she couldn't help but think how if Toby had been with her that very moment, Katherine wouldn't have dared to say anything against her, if Toby had been there, no one would dare to laugh at her.
However, Hannah had the face the gruesome reality, Toby was not with her, and he would never be with her again, she also had to force the thought, that if Toby was with her, would he actually care? Hannah allowed herself to think of what he had done to her.....
* * *
31st July (one month ago, the day of Toby's death)
Hannah had never felt happier, in all her life, there was not a moment that Hannah could ever say that she had been as happy as she was at that moment.
She walked hand in hand with Toby, both of them staring at each other like lovestruck puppies, he would whisper sweet words in her ear and she would giggle loudly.
Anybody who would've told Hannah that she and Toby Esquire would end up together would've seemed utterly crazy to her, in fact, she would've taken the person straight to a mental asylum to have their brain checked, but, in the end, here she was, hand in hand with the person Hannah could finally, proudly say was the love of her life. She had fallen for Toby fast, faster than she would've liked, but she liked to believe that he would never break her heart. She knew she'd never break his, after all.
"So are you coming to the game tonight, it's the term's final game, you have to come see me play" Toby asked, Hannah have a guilty look, inhaling deeply as she remembered it was her boyfriend's game that night.
"What's that look?" Toby asked, getting defensive.
"Wellllllllll..." Hannah made sure to drag the well long enough, not wanting to disappoint him at once.
"Come on, you have to come, you know you're my good luck charm" Toby said, pouting.
Hannah smiled at that, when she started dating Toby and going to his games, their school team had been winning a lot more, this had made him start referring to her as his good luck charm. She felt herself blush. How could she deny him when he asked liked that.
Hannah was about to say yes, when Toby phone chimed. He took it out of his pocket and unlocked the screen. His face immediately drained of all colour as he saw the content, Hannah's brows scrunched together in curiosity. The chiming of Toby's phone seems to create a domino effect, one by one, every phone in the hallway began to chime, and as they unlocked their screen, their gazes were immediately directed to Hannah.
She started to get nervous, her eyes glancing around, until finally, her phone chimed too. With shaky fingers, she took it out of her pocket, there was an inaudible whisper of Toby in the background, he was saying something, Hannah didn't hear him though, she brought her phone to her face and unlocked the screen, the content leaving her frozen on the spot.
The video was barely thirty seconds long, but it was a video that had managed to completely destroy Hannah, the one secret she had tried to keep, the one secret that she had told Toby
. Toby, no, no, no, it finally made sense to her, Toby had done it on purpose. The inaudible whisper finally became clear as Hannah looked at him, tears glazing her eyes.
"I can expain" he said, she didn't listen though, she only flattened her palm on his cheek and ran down the hallway, Toby hot on her heels.
* * *
(Now)
Hannah felt sick as she remembered the events of the worst day of her life, the day she had lost everything, the day Toby had died. The tears only kept falling as she recalled the horrible day.
She wanted to stop, to stop thinking about Toby, to stop crying over him, she knew he didn't deserve it, but how could she, even now that Toby was dead, she could still feel his presence everywhere, his hands on her skin, his breath on her face and the airy breeze his laughter would blow on her body.
Hannah would be strong though, she had to get over him, he had had his fun with her and thrown her away, she would not disturb herself thinking about someone like him. She left the stall and walked towards the basins, washing her face and erasing all evidence of the tears, she was done crying.
Her phone chimed beside her, she took it and unlocked the screen. Finally, an excuse not to think about that asshole.
TOBY ESQUIRE was a PATHOLOGICAL LIAR and Hannah would not waste her time thinking about him...