School is pain. By this point, I had really grown to hate this place. At the beginning, things seemed to be fine. I did have to get one of my classes changed though since I couldn't really understand what the teacher was saying. In the ended, I ended up with Mr. Bill as my teacher and somehow I was sitting next to Mikaela.
Sadly, I wasn't as good at the subject as she was, so I often ended up falling behind. Then there was someone I met in my P.E. class. His name was Simon and he was a freshman. Despite being younger than me, he was a bit taller than me. His hair was black and went down to his neck. He also could also cover his brown eyes with it if he felt like it. For some reason, the two of us always spent our time together in class and we talked about various things: shows we liked, games we liked, or just some stupid things. Our conversations were usually interesting.
"I have no friends." I would say.
"I'm right here!" he'd respond.
Our conversations would go like that from time to time.
"I want to die." I said.
"Why are you so depressing?" asked Simon.
However, with Mikaela, our conversations were as weird as always.
"Ron, you wouldn't understand." she said.
"I wouldn't understand what?" I responded.
"You wouldn't understand because you don't have boobs!" she said.
"O-okay." I replied.
I definitely had made some interesting friends. But despite having friends, my head would tell me something was wrong. Anyways, at lunch time we couldn't sit at the same table we did the year before, so we ate outside. It was me with Kevin and Elijah. The winter would eventually come and we would have to move inside. We all started eating in a random teacher's classroom.
However, we stopped sitting together and kind of split up from that point on. Before I knew it, I found myself feeling lonely. I didn't share my lunch period with a lot of my friends so I didn't really have that many people to talk to. I would often just finish eating and then take a walk around the hallways by the gyms.
To make things worse, the relationships I had with my friends were changing. And my parents were even harsher on me. I had a lot of trouble getting stuff done and I wasn't getting the help I needed. This was partially because my parents preferred to shit on me for not getting stuff instead of encouraging me to get help. I wasn't accomplishing much during this time, so I felt extremely useless.
I stopped getting along with Harold because well, he started saying some really insensitive things. Myself and the rest of the guys realized it was partially our fault that he ended up like that. He was from another country, then he came to our school and saw us screwing with each other and insulting each other.
I guess that kind of thing is typical for male friendships but from him, it started to become hurtful. One day, I was feeling really down and after I had finished eating my lunch, I announced I was going to the bathroom. On normal days, we wouldn't share the same lunch but on some days school would start an hour or so later, so the schedule would be different. After I made that announcement, he said something extremely insensitive.
"He's going in there to cry." he said.
I... was really angry inside but tried not show it. The reason it made me so made was because this was the kind of thing my mother would say. Whenever I went off to the bathroom, she'd say I was going off to cry. Sometimes, I was angry and other times it would just be me wanting to wash my hands.
So, that's how I ended up not wanting to talk to Harold when I was a junior. However, no matter what happened, I just couldn't shake this feeling of loneliness. I had friends, so what was the problem? Did I want something more? I just didn't know. In the end, I distanced myself a bit from most of my friends because I didn't really like talking about how I felt about a lot of things.
Despite that, Jason would often try to get stuff out of me. He was there when Harold made that insensitive comment and before I left for the restroom, we had a bit of a talk about everything that had been going on. As the days went by, the stress kept on piling up and I just wondered when I was going to explode. School had become far more painful than ever.